Fresh off of an Office rerun, it’s the hottest part of your mid-week indulgences, the Korner of Kue. I’m your creative typist, Jonah Kue, and I do apologize for the tardiness of this column. A little promotion from the current day job had me a bit busy, but wrestling never sleeps, and neither does Kue. So, let’s start by giving you a view of this week’s installment of the latest Autotune sensation, Kue’s ReKall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPeSApUnATI
Twitter: @jonahkue
Blogger: Kue’s Korner Lite
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Jonah’s Jumpstart
Sign of the Times
Unsatisfied is a bit of an understatement when it comes to the current product Vince and company have been churning out. Obviously, the consensus among most of us fans is that, to put this eloquently, wrestling is in a state of emergency. History has shown us what sports entertainment can potentially produce, and current affairs ain’t it. So, allow me to pull a “compare and contrast†on two faces of the company representing their respective times: Steve Austin and John Cena.
Back in the Attitude Era, rebellion was all the rage. And Austin carried that trait in spades. He was the epitome of “fuck you†to authority. He was the rage that was going against the machine of ‘E. The face of the company was basically the antithesis of the ideal employee.
Currently, the face of ‘E is our jorts-sporting John Cena. Though he had definitely started off as a bit of a rebel in his own right, Cena has (d)evolved into a much more fan-friendly, toned down guy who loves his job. He’s given the load of carrying the product, and he’s happy to do it. He’s the archetype of a company man. Basically, the anti-Austin.
It’s an interesting observation that, as we’ve transitioned from the 90’s into the new millennium, the abrasiveness of the earlier decade has been diluted down to a veiled sense of conformity. It’s even more interesting that our lovely little brand of ‘E has mirrored this transitioned. As they say, art imitates life. In this case, unfortunately.
Total Nonstop Articulation
There’s really not much to say about this week. Angle and RVD put on a hell of a match. If you missed Impact Wrestling this week (which you did, no use in lying), I suggest you check this little match out.
Styles and Daniels are looking stronger and more interesting every week. And here comes the hard part: I believe they’ve finally found something useful for Dreamer and Bully Ray to do. I hate admitting that, but if it does more to get the former two over, then perhaps a bit more TV time for the latter two is warranted. Friends, I implore you to not murder me for saying that. It’s still considered a hate crime for most of you.
If they ever put me through Jarrett/Morgan again, I will personally put Hogan through the worst kind of personal torture I can think of: set him up on a date with a lady who DOESN’T look eerily like his daughter.
Blue Streak
It’s one thing to make a heel turn a slow one. It’s another to revert to complete redundancy. Three weeks in a row, we’ve seen a variation of Orton, Christian, Sheamus, and Henry bicker over the title. Now, I understand that Sheamus and Henry are there basically as filler until Christian’s frustration levee breaks, but these recycled main events aren’t doing much to keep a viewer’s interest. At this point, pushing new guys to the weekly main event scene would be a bit more intriguing than switching between the Pale Rider and the Silverback.
And for the love of paper bags, could we please just give Cody a feud? He’s basically been loitering since Rey left to go to Raw. They had something going with both DiBiase as a lackey and Bryan as a rival, but like many ‘E ideas, instead of seeing what sticks, they don’t even let the shit hit the wall at all.
Seeing Red
Heel Truth is gold. Bottom line. At the very least, he’s shown the most potential of anyone in the Raw roster as of late. Anything contrary to this statement is biased. I know I sound biased myself saying that, but who’s Korner is this again? The interactivity with the crowd that Truth has included in his promos is perfect for developing his character as someone who resents the fans that held him back. The “little Jimmy†act is not only funny for the kids, but also compelling for the adults. See there? Balance. The true test will be in his ability to carry a main event match. Hopefully, “Capitol Punishment†will bear ripe fruit for our resident lunatic.
Ryder’s getting there. The fuse is lit.
Stationary seems to be what many Superstars are these days, even the most talented ones. Punk, Mysterio, Swagger are all in this particular state, and that’s what makes the product boring. There are several possibilities and scenarios that can be cultivated rather than the recycling that’s been going on. I hope this is simply a temporary state.
‘Round the Bend
CB asks a very important question: “What Happened to Characters in Wrestling?”. Read his answer in CB’s World.
The Ragings of Chris Sanders warrant particular attention this week. Check ’em out here
THE BEST F$(#ing TNA TEAM EVER bring you a rambunctious recap of Impact Wrestling on That Being Said.
Give props to my rival Goji for his 100 Thoughts on Wrestling. That’s some damn time consumption! Check it out on The Stomping Ground.
Joel Leonard analyses the redundancy of Over the Limit in No Chance.
And, of course, our resident lady in blue, Kelly Floyd, brings you some spunk with her Smackdown Recap.
Klosing Thoughts
I know I’ve been plugging Blair and THE BEST F&#*ING TNA TEAM EVER a bit this week, but I’d like to leave you with an excerpt from the latest rendition of “That Being Said” that addresses the current state of wrestling. I believe this to be the most honest and blunt description of it that I’ve come across:
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“The idea that wrestling sucks right now.
You’re wrong.
Wrestling BLOWS right now.
WWE is so boring that it’s unwatchable. It has been for a REALLY long time, as in years, albiet with a few very short-term exceptions. But WWE at least knows what they’re doing. I may not agree with it, and I may not enjoy watching it, but don’t be fooled. They know EXACTLY what they’re doing. Still, for me, watching WWE feels like getting waterboarded.
TNA may not be boring, but only because they’re fucking insane most of the time, and because many times they’ll do something to give us some hope (ie: a name change) and they keep that little glimmer of hope alive just long enough to get people excited, before we are all reminded of the difference between TNA and WWE. And that’s that TNA don’t have ANY idea what they’re doing, and that they never have. Watching TNA is less boring than watching WWE in the way that watching Jerry Springer is more entertaining than watching Law And Order. It doesn’t mean that Springer is better than Law And Order. It just means Springer is more capable of catching your attention, for better or worse. (In Springer AND in TNA’s case… worse.) Watching TNA feels like getting waterboarded… on your birthday.
I remember when all these TNA idiot marks were all happy that TNA was going head-to-head with WWE on Monday Nights. They were SURE that TNA was going to take WWE down, and even WWE fans were like “MONDAY NIGHT WAR 2!!!â€. Hulk Hogan was SINGING ON THE RADIO about how he was going to put Vince McMahon down. I was just like “Are they fucking serious? ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS.†As we all know now, Monday Night War 2 was extremely quick and brutal.
Anyway, that’s why I find the “1993″ statement to be a very apt analogy. What we need is the next ECW, and it SURE as hell isn’t TNA. It would be nice if that next big thing was ROH, and after this newest “ROH being bought†deal, I suppose it’s possible, but I don’t see it happening. The other problem is that any small promotion that springs up, everyone immediately assumes after one good show that THEY’RE the next ECW, almost overnight. People even said that about 3PW. Remember 3PW? Everyone was buzzing about that nonsense, and that ended with that whore Jasmine St. Claire selling the promotion on E-Bay. I swear I didn’t make that up. She sold 3PW on E-Bay. It’s incredible.”
Well said, Blair.
And that, my friends, will do until next week.
Oh, and keep those hits for Kue’s ReKall coming! If there’s any particular wrestling theme you’d like to hear digitized on the ReKall, let me know, friends.
Adieu.
