Pulse Wrestling Report: WWE Smackdown! 06.03.2011 — Christian, Randy Orton, Daniel Bryan

Before we begin, I’d like to state that June 5th will be one year writing for Pulse, for me. It’s been incredible writing on here, and although there’s been some haters, you’ve all been great! Here’s to many more years, I hope.

We kick things off reviewing what happened with Christian, collectively. Yeah, like we could forget. The Christian tension is building very, very nicely. But apparently, Sheamus will face Orton for his title shot tonight. Gee, I wonder how that will end…

Speaking of Christian, here he comes with a new shirt that I’m not sure about. Next out is Mark Henry. Should be…anyway, the match starts.

Christian charges, but Henry tosses him away. He locks up behind him, but Henry fights out again. A series of punches, but Henry isn’t phased. Christian rolls out, Henry follows but Christian jumps in. He hits one bit of offense, but Henry uses his strength to manhandle . Back in, Christian bounces off the ropes, but Henry acts as a wall, not only stopping him but throwing him high, high in the air. Henry goes for a splash but Christian rolls away, finally shifting the momentum. Now it’s Henry fighting for offense, but Christian won’t allow it, until Henry suddenly shoves him out of the ring. Christian returns with a drop toe hold onto the announce table, and scales to the top rope as Henry climbs back in. Attempted crossbody, fails. Goes for the Killswitch, which connects and it’s over!

Grade: C+
I love it when Superstars make me eat my words. This was surprisingly good, considering Mark Henry was involved. The sole thing I like about Henry in matches is that it makes it all the more impressive when someone manages to beat him. Christian did a great job of commanding attention, selling, and making something interesting that otherwise I would have rolled my eyes at. Nice job, boys.

Commercial.

We come back, and Christian is already boasting about his win over Henry. Then, he calls for last week’s match to be played, as he reviews the alleged six seconds Sheamus’s shoulders were pinned. He’s begging for a title shot, when Teddy Long appears.

Teddy says he agrees, that Christian is a victim of circumstance. “Let’s take a page out of your book…” he says, as he begins to poll the crowd. Teddy says he feels his pain, but he just can’t. So Christian tries again, asking for a triple threat. Going quite the opposite direction, Christian will have to settle for being a special referee in the title match.

Well, now they’ve decided to kill some time with a video package recapping Sheamus’s history. For good measure, I assume.

Commercial.

Tamina and Alicia Fox are in the ring, accompanied by Rosa. Why? I’m not sure. But here comes my girl Kaitlyn, along with AJ, accompanied by Nattie.

Kaitlyn and Tamina starting it off. Tamina shoves Kaitlyn a few times, before slamming her pretty head hard on the mat. Alicia charges in, Kaitlyn tags in AJ. High spot from AJ that lands a little awkward, but Tamina is back in. She knocks Kaitlyn off the mat, before hitting a samoan drop on AJ to win.

Grade: F
I kept getting distracted by what the announcers were saying. Not because it was interesting, but because it was more interesting in this match. Oh well, it was quick enough.

Commercial.

Oh that Sin Cara. Quickly becoming one of my favorites to watch. Not sure about the random video, but I’ll take it!

Cody Rhodes is making his way out, minions still behind him passing out bags. He’s wearing a suit, so I know he just wants to chat. He begins going off about Daniel Bryan, saying that he may have won, but he didn’t beat Cody. He continues to tear apart Bryan’s appearance as we get some “Bag-Eye-View”. Interesting.

Looks like Tedward DiBiase will face Bryan this evening. Again, interesting.

Now, Striker is talking about Khali’s assault on Singh last week. Looks like Jinder has taken over Singh’s old job, talking for Khali. Looks like we’ll see him in action tonight. Snore.

Commercial.

Well, here it is. Jinder enters. I actually really like his music. Yoshi Tatsu enters next.

Here we go. Some hard offense from Jinder. High knee, big suplex, cover, for two. And then boom! Big spot to win it.

Grade: D-
For an in-ring debut, I wish it would have been longer so I could really see what he was all about. I liked the bits and pieces I saw…he has great personality. I could feel his rage. But his finisher was too much like The Rock’s. Not a good start, buddy!

After, Khali puts Yoshi’s head in the vice lock. So at least he’s kind of useful out there.

Apparently, when we return, there will be another damn Intercontinental match. Holy hell, I’m sick of WWE throwing a title at any storyline too boring to survive on its own.

Commercial.

If I see that Capitol Punishment commercial again, I’m going to snap. Such a shame it’s on Father’s Day and I’ll have to miss it. I’m being sarcastic, of course. But you get what I mean.

Big Zeke makes his way out, then Barrett.

Zeke is all smiles after the bell rings, backing Wade into a corner. But not for long. So, when all else fails, try, try again! To the other corner they go. Barrett just can’t get going. Every time he gets near Jackson, he is shooed away like a fly until boom! He drops Zeke hard. He slowly works on him before charging, but is effortlessly tossed out of the ring. He slithers back in, but Zeke has capitalized on the break. He begins slamming Barrett over and over, and Barrett is lifted into Zeke’s torturous submission hold. Barrett wiggles out, and tumbles out of the ring. Slater and Gabriel surround him, as the ref counts Barrett out, which means a loss, but no title loss.

Grade: C
Not bad at all. I did find myself zoning out during this match a bit, but it hit hard where it counted. I liked seeing Barrett fend for himself for most of the match, and the two battling it out without the Corre-ettes. I’m just growing weary of this feud all together.

The Corre members lurk outside for a moment, before running to dive in. Barrett stops himself, as the other two members pounce on Jackson, doing his dirty work. Barrett heads up the ramp, and leaves the building as Slater and Gabriel take the punishment.

Striker is backstage with Sheamus. Sheamus cuts it short when he notices Christian walking by. He runs up to him, trying to convey that he is on his side with the situation. Christian laughs at the blatant lie. Sheamus tries to threaten him, promising consequences if he tries anything funny, but Christian brushes him off.

Commercial.

Daniel Bryan out, Tedward out. Let’s go!

Feet shuffling like crazy people to start. Bryan hits a dropkick on Tedward, quick jabs in between from both. Both try their hand at a pin, rolling and shifting the weight. Ted attempts a dropkick, but falls flat, allowing Bryan to once again strike with his iron feet. Suddenly, Cody Rhodes appears, toting a paper bag with Bryan’s name on it.

Commercial.

When we return, Bryan is at the mercy of Ted DiBiase. Both slowly build up, some sharp kicks from Bryan, but Tedward wants none of it. Bryan gets wrapped around the steel post, being tugged on by Teddy. Back in the ring, Bryan is thrown across the ring, where he casually runs up the ropes to evade certain peril, and seizes control. He begins kicking Ted’s chest in so hard, it might cave. But all of a sudden, Teddy cartwheels Bryan midair after a wicked clothesline. Teddy charges, but is sent out of the ring. Impatient, Bryan suicide dives gracefully into Teddy. Ted is thrown back in the ring, but Bryan gets distracted by Cody’s presence, lingering. Teddy has time to recover, as Bryan scales to the top rope, only to meet a stellar dropkick. Ted goes for Dream Street, but fight out to lock in the LaBell Lock, and Teddy taps.

Grade: B
Wow! Way to remind me why I loved you so, Tedward. Matches like these make me wonder why he’s the one that faded so fast into the background. Both men looked jaw-dropping amazing in this contest, keeping it entertaining at every turn. They forced you to pay attention by being quick, so quick that you’d miss it if you took your eyes off of them for too long. Match of the night, I have to say.

Of course, once it’s over Cody storms the ring and attacks, with the help of Teddy but Sin Cara’s music cues up, making quick work of the former-Legacy members. What a cherry for this cake!

Commercial.

Time for the Raw Rebound. Man, am I tired of R-Truth!

Cut to Johnny Curtis (who was evidently on NXT?) complaining about the tag team title shot he won’t get now. “So I’m going to do what every Superstar would do…” and he dramatically dumps out some milk in a basin, before…pouring it all over his head? I get what he’s doing…but what a bizarre thing to do…

Christian is out first in his ref shirt. Randy out next.

Commercial.

I can’t wait for the season finale of Tough Enough…my money’s on Luke. I hate him, I do. But dang, next to Martin, he’s the best choice, in my opinion.

Sheamus makes his way out, introductions are made. Let’s go!

Both men lock up, fighting over who will keep the control. They break apart, and come back again. Sheamus forces Randy down, but he gets away. The fight moves outside the ring, both men trading punches before Sheamus is sent hard into the barricade. “This is a straight up fight,” Booker says, and he’s right. Both men look like they’re in the world’s most boring bar fight. Back outside, and back in.

Commercial.

Sheamus still in control when we come back, but everything has slowed dramatically. Big suplex to Sheamus, with Orton fighting out of Sheamus’s pale grip. Randy starts picking up steam. Backbreaker, cover, for two. Sheamus in the corner, gets rid of Randy for a moment and gracefully flips up to the top rope. But Randy meets him there, super-plex! Cover, for two. Sheamus launches himself over the ropes to strike Randy with his shoulder. He slams Randy hard on his back, sets up for his finisher, but Randy counters, rolling him up for two. Sheamus getting angry now, charges for the Brogue kick, but Randy dodges, getting Sheamus hung up on the ropes. DDT from Orton, and now he’s punching the mat. He charges, goes for the RKO, but hangs in the air as Sheamus shoves him away. Sheamus once again goes for High Cross, lifts Randy over his head, but he wiggles out. RKO attempt, fought off, but it sends Sheamus barreling into Christian. He desperately assures Christian it was an accident, but turns to hit Orton with the Brogue kick. He covers, and Christian counts one, two…but pulls his hand up to nurse it after Sheamus’s bump. Sheamus stares him down, before Christian smacks him, and Randy hits the RKO to retain.

Grade: B++
I can’t bring myself to give this an A, but god damn, it was a great match! I was riveted the entire time, and Sheamus looked like a magnificent monster. Christian’s interaction was so subtle, but was there when it needed to be. One of the better main events I’ve seen in recent months.

Randy celebrates, but when he turns around, he is met with his belt, being swung at him by Christian. He rips off the ref shirt, clutching the belt that should rightfully be his, in a very heel-like stance. He holds the belt high, and the boo’s are echoing over the cheers. The title is slung over his shoulder as he retreats.

Heel turn, complete.