The O’Really Report – 100 Thoughts on WWE/Impact

Welcome, welcome, welcome to your Weekly Wednesday Wrestling Stop, The O’Really Report.  I am your appreciative advisor Rhett Davis and before I begin this column… I thought I’d give you a little background information about me.  That’s right we get to connect!  Well I’ve watched wrestling all of my life, which doesn’t say a lot considering I’m fresh out of high school, but I spend a great deal of my time watching DVD of AWA, early WWF, early WCW, etc. and studying their patterns.  I love acting and in a few weeks will be going to the International Thespian Festival in Lincoln, Nebraska to compete with our One-Act play and Group Acting piece which both won first place in state in their respective competitions.  I work in a gas station and it’s always interesting to see all of the idiots that come into those stores raising hell.  One man spoke through the door in the beer end of the cooler and asked what day of the week it was… it was Tuesday.  Got to love a drunken Arkansan.  Anyways I tell all of you this merely to get more acquainted.  I won’t be here in two weeks, but soon after I get back I hope to have a new ace up my sleeve.  Sort of like Mr. Kue.  Now for communication etc…

Twitter:  @radmann9

Facebook:  Rhett Davis (Look me up)

E-Mail:  radmann9@yahoo.com

AIM:  rhettpulse

10 Thoughts:  Raw

I thought this week I might take a play out of the Mike Gojira playbook.  No way in homage to the guy, but hey I thought it was worth a stab at.  So without further ado, this is my 100 Thoughts on WWE’s current state.

1. WWE is beginning to look a lot like a complex quilt.  The more you look at it, the more it has the same pattern.  Well except for when Vince picks up his needle and moves it over about 10 inches thoroughly screwing the apparent pattern.
2. P.s.  We like it when he screws up the pattern.
3. Where in the hell is FLEA?  He shows up for a month or two and then disappears.  Who knew FLEA was in the same category with Bret Hart.
4. Seriously?  We are replacing Fatal-4-Way (one of my favorite PPVs from last year) to bring in Capital Punishment?  Why couldn’t we have replaced Over the Limit?  Did Vince not notice that that PPV did the LEAST amount of buys last year and it was a new show!
5. Congratulations to Kelly Floyd for her one year anniversary at this site.  Congrats chicka… and don’t punch me in the face.
6. I believe next week I will be facing off against Mike Gojira.  This shall be a test of fates my friends.
7. It was a refreshment seeing Vince on Raw this week.  Isn’t it weird how everyone is grateful to see the Chairman nowadays?  Used to be I hated him on Raw when the DX (reborn) angle was going on.
8. Speaking of DX… I miss both of those guys.  These young guys need some older, wilier veterans to face in order to establish some legitimacy.  Trips just kind of disappeared… at the same time HBK did.
9. This may be strange but I rented a few almost all of the WWE Films one day and was thoroughly surprised that they weren’t a terrible waste of 90 minutes.
10. Knucklehead was a funny film suitable for the entire family and had me rolling at The Big Show playing an idiotic World’s Largest Orphan.
11. Legendary was a teary performance that really didn’t focus on Cena that much and it was better for it.  Remember Marine and 12 Rounds?  Yeah not many people do an hour later.  Cena does well as a background character, but not the tough guy who beats everyone.  Too much like WWE.
12. The Chaperone really was the one that surprised me.  Triple H played his part well and it had enough action and intrigue to keep me interested.  Bravo Paul bravo.
13. Wait… the next video game in the WWE series is called WWE 2012 and not SmackDown vs Raw 2012?  Weird… but I like it.
14. Oh I also saw Faster.  If you like action films with a lot of killing, lot of fast cars, lots of The Rock, and lots of no real story development, then go check out Fast Five.  Oh Faster is the same way, just not as good.
15. Man I’m ready for that VS column with me and my PIC Jonah Kue VS Gojira and Glazer.
16. When are we doing that by the way guys?
17. I finally got a new computer so I can do 10 Thoughts Monday Night Raw during the show and have it up ASAP. Woot!
18. If you haven’t already, you really should go check out Zack Ryder’s Z! True Long Island Story YouTube show.  It’s pretty amazing.
19. R-Truth continues to impress me every week.  That guy went from a no-show Face to a HUGE heel.  He’s a good R-Truth.  I love everything the guy has done from the Little Jimmy interview to ‘I WANT MY SON BACK!’ to dressing like a Confederate soldier and marching down to the ring.  The guy’s innovative and who would’ve guessed?!
20. I’m glad Andy won Tough Enough.  I pulled for him since day one but I didn’t see anyone beating Luke at the beginning.  He oozed the most potential, but as the show progressed Martin and Andy stepped up.  I believe Martin would’ve won if it hadn’t been for that ankle injury.
21. Oh and speaking of people blowing my mind… Alex freaking Riley.  I speak for weeks on developing new faces and out of the blue, Riley beats the snot out of Miz and suddenly he is one of the top faces in the business. Wah?
22. I’ve grown frustrated with Raw as of late as there just isn’t much going on.  Especially with two of the biggest names on the show.  CM Punk and Rey have been fighting each other, but why and where is the actual feud?
23. Thank God Dolph went back to blonde hair.  He looked like a generic, get-fired-in-next-group type guy.
24. Is it weird that Kane hasn’t shown up to destroy del Rio for injuring his friend Big Show?  I mean he held the Giant’s hand when he was ran over by the car.
25. Hmm… they may be saving that for the All-Stars show.  You know so they don’t have a SmackDown guy on Raw because they never do that…
26. Zack was on Raw! In a match!   Woo Woo Woo You Know IT!
27. So after Cena disposes of R-Truth does that mean we get an Alberto del Rio feud?  Because I could really dig that.  Cena vs del Rio, I like it.
28. I may have missed it, but why is Big Show gone?  Is he having surgery or just out kayfabe?
29. Also when is John Morrison scheduled to be back?  I thought he was just going to be out a few weeks.  Maybe he’ll slide into the main event and cost R-Truth giving him more conspiracy ideas about how The Door’s lead singer knock-off cost him his title match.
30. I have kind of mixed opinions on Booker T returning on Raw.  Sure he is a different opponent for Swagger, but I don’t know.  I don’t see this feud being aided by that match.  Sure we got to see the Bournarooni but really is that all we did this for?
31. I think it’s kind of funny I have to correct myself every time I type Swagger because I want to put Swangle.  Darn you Wheeler!
32. Glazer said this as I watched Raw this past week, but it really sucked that Riley didn’t hang out in the ring to celebrate with Austin and Cena.  He could have used that rub.
33. Oh and by the way… Christian hit Orton with a title to turn heel… and was cheered for it.  Way to go WWE.  I hope he’s on Raw to gloat and be cheered for it.
34. In case you don’t know… Kue’s ReKall is absolutely amazing.  If you haven’t checked it out then you should most definitely go for it.
35. Is anyone else interested in the Wade/Zeke feud over on SmackDown?  I mean sure it gets Ezekiel over but it would be more interesting if he actually had adversaries trying to get his title match.
36. See this is what is missing with the I-C and US titles is that there is no DESIRE to earn those titles.  It’s more of, I beat that guy so I’m going to challenge him and take the belt.  Then do nothing but fight that guy and then do more of nothing.  All I want is some #1 Contenders matches for those titles and guys clawing their eyes out trying to figure out how to outsmart the #1 Contender to get his title shot.  Perfect opportunity for a guy like Dolph, Zack Ryder, Bryan, Ted DiBiase, Cody, etc.
37. Hey where has Hornswaggle been? Oh never mind… just let him stay there.
38. So I have no idea where this whole Johnny Curtis thing is going…
39. I’m sure I haven’t spoken enough about this but I adore Daniel Bryan.  Bryan can make anyone look like a million dollars in the ring when they really are nothing.  I mean I can’t take my eyes off of his matches.
40. Speaking of talented wrestlers… when is GoldyLocks coming back?  I miss ole Goldust.  His feud with Ted DiBiase actually interested me somewhat if for nothing more than Goldust showing why he’s a fantastic wrestler.
41. M.C. Brown scared me when he said he was leaving… at least we’ll still see him doing 10 Thoughts on Impact if nothing else.
42. Taking a look at the pole that was recently done… why does Zack Ryder benefit the most from having Mick Foley?  I voted Chris Masters, but there were plenty of guys that could have used him more than Zack.  Zack is over despite WWE hiding it.
43. I commend Blair, Swayze, and the rest for doing the Impact because that show is so unbearable right now.
44. I miss Kharma already.
45. What I don’t understand is what was the point of the Cole/Lawler feud?  What did it accomplish in the long run?  Miz was already over with just Cole as his favored announcer.  Lawler lost at WrestleMania so it shouldn’t count for diddly.  And now they are buddy-buddy again with no recompense.  Rather redundant.
46. Just think… Kelly Floyd is almost as awesome as I am.  I only say that because she said that.
47. Ugh… 100 is so tiresome…
48. You know I could’ve written a column on just a point in this time…
49. Gojira is a goldfish.
50. Halfway! Yesss!
51. So will Wade Barrett finally drop his title to Ezekiel and then move up into the Heavyweight title scene?
52. The problem is that there is already Sheamus, Henry, Christian, and soon to be Khali all fighting for that belt and they are ALL heels.
53. Seriously who is the second face on SmackDown?  Daniel Bryan or Sin Cara?  That’s kind of depressing considering they are both feuding even lower tier heels.
54. You know…Gojira is always cracking jokes at the other pulsers and if this were a kid’s movie they would say that that is to make up for the fact that he is obscure about himself.
55. But this isn’t so he’s just a jerk.
56. And no Chris Sanders, my ‘The Colossal’ nickname wasn’t a fat joke.  It’s just a compliment amigo.
57. You know someone else who hasn’t been on the site much… Pulse Glazer.  My homie needs to get back to making some Morning Backlashes.
58. I kind of have to agree with Mr. Gepp about the whole lack of jobbers.  Sure we have some guys who never win, but everyone has a gimmick and they only have so much time on the show.
59. On that note, push Zack and the rest will work itself out. Just kidding, but c’mon!
60. I’m glad that the WWE is at least giving us Beth Phoenix.  I like Beth and did anyone catch when she said ‘Watch your face!’ when she dropped one of the Bellas.
61. You know I do think we need a new rating system but the CSI just seems too broad.  I’d want to put everything in the S category.  Nothing would be canonic to me.
62. As I write this thought, Nsync is trending… what the mess…
63. I hate to say it, but I kind of dig Khali more as a heel than a face.  I can remember when he fought Jeff Hardy on a Raw and though the match sucked, I was drawn in.  *shrugs* I don’t know why, but I was.
64. I watched an older ECW One Night Stand DVD the other day and I forgot how much I loved that show.  Not the first one, but the second.
65. Yeah that was the one Eugene got caned by The Sandman and Tajiri teamed up with Super Crazy to beat the FBI.
66. Oh and the highlight of that DVD was Cena throwing his shirt into the audience and then seeing them throw it back… again… and again.  I would have loved to be in that raucous crowd.
67. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you need to watch just that match.  Cena was a heel and I could easily see him being that kind of heel if he ever turned.
68. That’s not saying he needs to be heel because we have too many of those as it is.
69. Did you know that Matt Morgan and Ken Anderson both suck?  Yeah I mean in mic and wrestling skills.  And to think I liked both of them at one point.
70. Whatever happened to Pope getting that major push?  I actually liked his character on the show.
71. Tyson Kidd… I love that kid.  This whole new manager every week stint is just awesome.
72. Did you know that the Internet Championship can only be defended on Superstars?
73. I really thought that on the final episode of Tough Enough that they would… y’know… show their 5 minute matches?  Instead of the video package?
74. Man what happened to poor Vladimir?  He was the cover of a PPV and now he is just dancing with Santino. Poor fella.
75. I think it is so funny when Superstars brag about being the longest reigning champion in the WWE when it’s usually only for less than 3 months.
76. Hey Drew McIntyre, how was the Playmate?  Was she worth losing your push and then the marriage?
77. Speaking of guys I never see, has anyone spotted David Hart Smith any time lately?
78. It’s scary how much Mason Ryan reminds me of Batista.  In both good and bad ways.
79. Oh my gosh is Skip Sheffield dead?  I was expecting him to come back at like Royal Rumble, but a year has almost passed and he is STILL gone.
80. Why couldn’t it have been Otunga instead of Skip?  I don’t mean to jinx Otunga, but c’mon!
81. Did you know that Sin Cara has actually had a few matches where he didn’t botch a move?  I’m so proud of that Chihuahua.
82. I’m even more proud that I spelled Chihuahua correctly.
83. I didn’t realize that Tyler Reks was still in the company.  Kind of sad.
84. Why don’t they use William Regal on SmackDown?  I thought that was the smarter brand when it came to booking!
85. Only 85? Seriously Bro?
86. I think Justin Gabriel should be excommunicated next from The Corre.  That way he can start a Face run.  I just can’t deal with his bland self as a heel.
87. So WWE realizes that if Obama doesn’t show up to Capital Punishment that we will riot right?
88. Just kidding, no one cares about Obama that much.
89. Brodus Clay would’ve fit as that Big Show angle with del Rio better than Ricardo, but hey I thought the angle was clever anyways.
90. I’m so tired of thinking thoughts…
91. The Major Broskis should be the next team to get a Tag Title match and they should be turned face.
92. So what’s going to happen at the All Star show next week?  Answer: nothing important, it’s a go-home show.
93. Y’know what I’m ready for?  That big angle that WWE has every year during the summer.
94. Last year it was The Nexus, a couple of years ago it was Vince dieing, one year it was Hornswaggle being his son, and etc.  It just seems like every year he has some angle going on.
95. Oh and one year it was the announcement of ECW and all of that stuff.
96. Man what if Vince brought back ECW and Nitro and gave the reigns over to Paul E. and Eric B.?
97. That would be so cool, I mean sure Vince could tone down Paul E a little, but that’s not that big of a deal.
98. Raw on Monday, ECW on Tuesdays, Nitro on Thursdays, SmackDown on Friday. Sounds great.
99. Does anyone care at this point?
100. Yes! I’m done!

Thanks for reading and I promise to never do this again!

And quite frankly my dear… that’s a wrap!