WWE Capitol Punishment Results (John Cena, Randy Orton, The Miz)

PPVs, Reviews, Top Story

Let’s check out the card –

1. Randy Orton vs. Christian *World Heavyweight Title Match
2. John Cena vs. R-Truth *WWE Title Match
3. Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler *U.S. Title Match
4. Wade Barrett vs. Ezekiel Jackson *Intercontinental Title Match
5. Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
6. Alex Riley vs. The Miz
7. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

We’re live from the Verizon Center in Washington, DC. Our hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T.

MATCH #1: United States Championship Match – Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is accompanied by Vickie Guerrero. They take it down to the mat to start as Ziggler tries grounding Kingston with a headlock. Kingston hits a flying back elbow for two. He follows up with a dropkick and a monkey flip. Ziggler comes back and hits a legdrop for two. He hits a dropkick of his own for a two-count. The challenger keeps Kingston on the ground, wearing him down. Ziggler hits a German Suplex for two. He tries the Sleeper but Kingston counters his way out of it. Kingston goes for the SOS but Ziggler counters. That doesn’t stop Kingston from hitting Shadows Over Hell for a two-count. Kingston goes for Trouble in Paradise but Ziggler counters, so Kingston counters with the SOS but only gets two! An impressive series of counters ends with Kingston hitting a double stomp for two. They fight up the ropes and Ziggler goes for a superplex but Kingston knocks him down and hits a frog cross body block for another near-fall. Kingston tries Trouble in Paradise but misses, and Ziggler tries the Zig-Zag but Kingston avoids it. Vickie rakes Kingston’s eyes while Ziggler has the ref distracted, and that gives Ziggler the chance to lock on the Sleeper and Kingston passes out around 11 minutes in!

WINNER – Dolph Ziggler, NEW United States Champion, ***½

R-Truth arrives in a limo and carrying John Cena’s WWE Championship belt. He runs into Eve and tries to rekindle the old days, but Eve is having none of it.

Elsewhere, Todd Grisham asks the Miz if he has what it takes to beat Alex Riley. Miz is rightfully offended that Grisham would ask such a question.

MATCH #2: The Miz vs. Alex Riley

I don’t get why Miz still carries the briefcase. (8:28)Riley is in his hometown here, and he starts off hot, laying into Miz with punches and chasing him around the ring. Miz weathers the initial onslaught and goes to work on his former student. The former WWE Champion looks dominant here as Booker and Cole talk about the referee possibly just stopping the match. This goes on for quite a while as the crowd gets restless. Miz hits a double axe handle off the top rope but only gets two. He ties Riley up in the Tree of Woe and tries a running baseball slide but Riley moves and Miz sort of crotches himself on the ring post. Riley gets a second wind and hits a big spinebuster for two. Miz begs off and dumps Riley to the floor, but Riley reaches through with a big forearm for two. Now Miz rolls to the floor and Riley gives chase. They fight over by the announce table and Cole yells at Riley and gets physically removed from his chair! Miz takes the opportunity to throw Riley back in the ring, but when he tries to use the briefcase the referee stops him. Riley then grabs Miz with an Impaler DDT to get the win in about 10 minutes. It’s nice to see WWE giving a hometown boy a win for a change.

WINNER – Alex Riley, **½

Sgt. Slaughter is backstage with a bad Barack Obama impersonator and some fake secret service. Vickie Guerrero busts in to sing him “Happy Father’s Day” but secret service carries her away.

Tomorrow night, it’s a three hour special “Power to the People” episode of Raw. Basically it’s “Taboo Tuesday” or “Cyber Sunday,” just on TV like it should be.

MATCH #3: Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Big Show attacks Del Rio from behind in the aisle, but then Mark Henry attacks the Big Show. Henry throws Show over the Spanish Announce Table and then hits the World’s Strongest Slam to break the table! He then slams Show’s leg onto the broken announce table. Del Rio tries getting the referee to start the match and count Show out. Eventually the referee does start counting but the bell never even rang. Show rolls into the ring and the match begins proper. The massive Show tries to end it early, going for a Chokeslam, but Del Rio wisely attacks the leg. Show perseveres and eventually does hit the Chokeslam and Del Rio rolls to the floor. Back in the ring Del Rio goes right back to the knee, but then goes for the Cross Armbreaker but Show picks him up and slams him down. Show can’t capitalize though and Del Rio locks on a cross leg-breaker and Show gets to the ropes. The world’s largest athlete can barely stand so the referee calls the match after about five official minutes.

WINNER – Alberto Del Rio, *¼

Barrett tries an early headlock but Jackson powers out of it and knocks Barrett back into the corner. Jackson goes for the Torture Rack but Barrett wisely rolls to the floor. Back in the ring the champion can’t get anything working for him until he goes low and attacks the knee. Barrett follows up with a kick to the face for a one-count. He grounds Jackson with a chinlock and gets a sunset flip for two. Moments later Jackson fights back with power moves and crushes Barrett in the corner. Barrett hits Wasteland but Jackson kicks out at two! Jackson powers up and uses the Torture Rack to win the Intercontinental Title in about six minutes.

WINNER – Ezekiel Jackson, NEW Intercontinental Champion, *½

Backstage, Santino Marella meets the fake Barack Obama. Hilarity ensues.

Elsewhere Josh Mathews gets a word with CM Punk, who cuts one of his usual terrific promos. Punk promises to beat Mysterio and then do “one of the most honest things anyone has ever seen.”

MATCH #5: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk

They take it right down to the mat and trade holds. Punk tries a knockout kick but misses and Mysterio dropkicks him to the floor. Mysterio tries a leap off the apron but Punk catches him and drops him on the barricade. Back in the ring Punk keeps Mysterio grounded, wearing him down with submission holds. Punk hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and goes back to the leg scissors. Mysterio fights out of it and puts Punk in position for the 619, but Punk cuts him off with a clothesline for two. Punk goes to the abdominal stretch, which is a smart follow-up to the leg scissors. He keeps the pressure on Mysterio, even talking some trash to him. Finally Mysterio has enough and kicks Punk in the face, and then uses a victory roll to catapult Punk to the floor. Mysterio follows him out with a beautiful Asai Moonsault. Back in the ring Mysterio hits a missile headbutt for a two-count. They both go for kicks and Mysterio wins the battle with a solid shot to the head but Punk again kicks out at two. The commentators say Punk probably has a singer in his right arm, but it doesn’t prevent Punk from hitting the running knee in the corner. Punk charges but Mysterio moves and his shoulder hits the ring post. Mysterio hits a modified 619, knocking Punk to the floor. He goes for a splash off the top rope but Punk gets the knees up and covers for two. Punk hits a series of knees and tries Go 2 Sleep but Mysterio counters with a rana for two. Seconds later Punk hits a knockout kick but only gets two again. Trade signature move attempts again, and Punk catches Mysterio in a 619 and drills him with the Go 2 Sleep to get the win in about 16 minutes. That was really good.

WINNER – CM Punk, ****

MATCH #6: World Heavyweight Championship Match – Randy Orton vs. Christian

Orton wastes no time in taking it right to Christian. He hits a Thesz Press and hammers away. It’s been all Orton thus far as he grounds Christian with a headlock. Christian fights out by slugging at Orton’s head but he misses a dropkick off the second rope. He’s able to dump Orton to the floor and dropkicks him down. Back in the ring Orton resumes control and hits mounted punches in the corner. They take it back to the floor and Orton sets up for a DDT but Christian avoids it and slams Orton’s head into the steel steps. Back in the ring Christian takes control of the champion now. Orton sneaks a quick cradle from out of nowhere for two. Christian hits him right back with a spinebuster for two. Orton fights back with a back body drop and hammers at the challenger with forearms. He hits a couple of clotheslines and the powerslam. The champ follows up with a belly-to-belly suplex for two. They fight on the ring apron and Orton is able to take Christian up for a superplex, also injuring himself in the process but still getting a two-count. They trade finisher attempts and Orton comes out on top with an awesome elevated neckbreaker. Orton catches Christian with the DDT. He goes for the RKO but Christian counters to the falling inverted DDT for two. Christian drills Orton with a Spear but Orton kicks out at two! Orton hits a frustrated challenger with a nice dropkick but then gets kicked in the face himself. Christian steps right into an RKO and even though Christian’s leg is under the bottom rope the referee counts three anyway and Orton retains the title at about 16 minutes.

WINNER – Randy Orton, ***¾

Christian complains about his foot being under the rope, and he definitely has a legitimate gripe. Orton responds by blasting Christian with the title belt. I think there’s another rematch coming.

Money in the Bank returns to Pay-Per-View on July 17.

The Bella Twins make their way out to the arena with Keith Stone. Really? This segues to a video package for R-Truth versus John Cena.

MATCH #7: Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

Swagger immediately grounds Bourne, who fights back with his agility. The larger Swagger catches a running Bourne and delivers a gutbuster, and then another one. Swagger continues wearing Bourne down but talks too much trash and gets caught in a headscissors. Bourne quickens the pace and hits a big knee to the face for two. Swagger fights back with a big boot to the face for two. Bourne is able to hit a big DDT off the top rope but Swagger kicks out at two. He misses the Air Bourne and Swagger catches him in the Ankle Lock, but Bourne counters to a victory roll for the upset pin in about seven minutes.

WINNER – Evan Bourne, **¾

The Obama impersonator comes out and cuts a pointless promo. Booker T asks him to come down to the ring and they both do a Spin-a-Roony. Did that really warrant pay-per-view time?

MATCH #8: WWE Championship Match – John Cena vs. R-Truth

Is this Truth’s first even main event? I think it is. They stall a bit to start and Truth strikes first with a back elbow. The crowd starts the dueling “Let’s Go Cena” “Cena Sucks” chants. Truth takes control with various kicks and other offense to keep Cena down. He hits a big legdrop for two. The challenger follows up with the Lie Detector but it only gets two. Booker tries to make the case that he invented that move. Truth continues on offense as the crowd dies. Truth hits the big hip toss and Booker corrects him to say it’s a hip lock. This is the worst commentary team ever. Truth has been on offense for almost 10 straight minutes. Finally Cena makes the comeback and hits the Protoplex and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Truth reverses it to a suplex stunner for two. Moments later Cena locks on the STF and Truth grabs the ropes. Cena walks right into a kick to the gut, and Truth hits the Scissors Kick but it only gets two. Truth goes up top for a cross body block but Cena rolls through but Truth counters with a move I miss by looking at my computer screen for a second and it gets two. Cena rolls to the floor and Truth goes out as well. Truth tries to steal a fan’s drink but the fan pours it on him. That gives Cena the chance to throw Truth into the ring and hit the Attitude Adjustment to get the win after about 15 minutes.

WINNER – John Cena, *½

I grew up and now I write for Inside Pulse. Oh, and one time I saw a blimp!