David Haye’s Delusions Exposed, As Klitschko Brothers’ Dream Is Realized

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History was made on the 2nd July in with the Klitschko brothers’ long quest to unify the world heavyweight title between them finally reaching a successful conclusion. Ever since Vitali Klitschko returned from retirement in 2008 to claim the WBC Title only the WBA strap has eluded the brothers’ grasp with Wladimir Klitschko wearing Ring, IBF, IBO and WBO gold around his waist.

For most of the noughties it had been controlled by Don King, who allowed only house fighters such as Nikolai Valeuv, John Ruiz and Ruslan Chagaev to fight for it. David Haye’s victory over Nikolai Valeuv finally ended King’s control over the belt and turbo-boosted a rivalry between the former unified cruiserweight champion and the Klitschkos.

Haye had put the mild-mannered Wladimir on the back foot with his ghoulish trash talking, tastelessly haranguing Klitschko at a charity event before producing t-shirts and magazine shoots depicting the decapitation of both brothers. Despite having competed in two of the worst heavyweight title fights of all time in his victories over Valeuv and Audley Harrison, Haye berated the Klitschko’s quality of opposition and claimed that they were boring to watch. He backed out of agreed fights with either brother a staggering four times in 2009 alone and was forced to ground when Wladimir openly challenged him to a match in 2010. This despite the fact that Klitschko was offering Haye the terms he had always demanded – a 50/50 split of all match revenue. Only when confronted with a full-on backlash by British fans irate at being duped by farcical fight with Harrison did Haye finally sign the deal.

Amongst all that has been written about the three year circus that has been Haye’s heavyweight campaign, nothing better illustrates the emptiness of his resume and hollowness of his words than his performance in Hamburg. Accompanied by his trainer Adam Booth, a man who’s camp openly revels in the moniker ‘The Dark Lord’ given to him by an internet message board and picked up by British papers, he assured everyone that he had the answer to Klitschko’s ‘boring’ jab and grab tactics. Haye promised that he would produce something special, something that we had never seen before.

He didn’t.

As Wladimir rightly pointed out after the fight, Haye came out and fought like all those contenders that he had mocked. Like them he was shocked by the remarkable hand and foot speed of a man that weighs 240Ibs and stands 6ft 4inchs. Like them he became frustrated by his inability to get behind the left jab of Klitschko. Like them he was became despondent as he was outmuscled by a much bigger, much stronger opponent. And just like them he soon went into survival mode, (and rather remarkably considering his latest claim of a broken toe) just running around the ring trying to avoid taking even more punishment.

But so much more than any of them, Haye put in a pitiful performance. Indeed it was quite possibly the worst of any fighter in any major world heavyweight title fight.  Not once was Haye even able to try anything as basic as putting together a combination to work his way inside. He would repeatedly throw himself to the ground, as if he was a soccer player trying to trick the referee into giving him a free kick.  Likewise he was incessantly complaining to the referee about imaginary illegal blows. He showed a complete lack of boxing technique, repeatedly reduced to just lunging in with off-balance and wild overhand punches that were all too easily avoided by Wladimir.

What made Haye’s complete lack of anything that approach a coherent gameplan was that Klitschko largely fought to his normal pattern, if a tad more aggressively than usual. He pressurized Haye constantly, using the left jab to control distance and frequently landing with it and the big right hand. Indeed the only impressive thing about Haye’s performance was his ability to soak up the punishment that Klitschko dished out, which says something about how dismally his illusive fighting style failed.

The scorecards were a formality, as were David Haye’s excuses. Both confirmed the mastery of Wladimir Klitschko with the much maligned Ukrainian continuing to put his terrible 2004 far behind him with yet another dominant performance. He is the only man to currently hold all three major world titles and no brothers have ever successfully unified a championship between like the Klitschkos have. With Odlanier Solis and David Haye easily dispatched, and Vitali Klitschko a heavy favorite against Tomasz Adamek, one has to wonder who can stop them.

A Comics Nexus original, Will Cooling has written about comics since 2004 despite the best efforts of the industry to kill his love of the medium. He now spends much of his time over at Inside Fights where he gets to see muscle-bound men beat each up without retcons and summer crossovers.