So sorry for the delay. Between baby showers, migraines, and the beginning of monsoon season, I haven’t had any time to even think about watching Smackdown. Not to mention, I was live for the show, so I already know how it ends!
Speaking of being live, I have a bone to pick with the WWE Universe. Signs have been a staple of live events for a long, long time. But I have no fear admitting that I hate them. Like, seriously, hate them. Hold them up during entrances and lulls, that’s fine. I don’t care. But please don’t hold up your “Heather and Amy!†sign during the main event, or during Sin Cara/Christian, or any other matches for that matter. I did not pay to see the back of your sign. If not for my surprisingly strong sister, my drunk ass would have leaned forward with my lighter. Trust me, I do throw the spare change from my purse at your heads. Be courteous to those around you, bitches.
Teddy Long starts off the show with a backstage segment, where he informs Christian that Mark Henry was the one that got the pin on Orton, not him. So, he’ll have to prove himself yet again, and Henry will have a chance to compete for the title should he win his match.
Moving on from there, we have our first match. Randy enters, Henry enters.
Bell rings, and both circle each other. Orton backs him into a corner and unleashes but Henry responds with a knee. Orton is being manhandled and tossed across the ring before being slammed hard. Henry intimidates Randy as he slowly works on him. He lifts him over his head, and Randy wiggles out not once but twice. DDT from Randy, attempted cover for two. Both are outside the ring. Randy slowly walks towards Henry who drives his back into the ring. Big Show’s music begins, and Henry waits patiently as the ref counts. When Show doesn’t appear, he turns around and takes an RKO. Randy slithers back into the ring just before the ref counts to 10, and it’s over.
Grade: C-
Pretty quick for a bout containing the World Heavyweight Champ. Not that I’m complaining. I’m still not sold, nor will I ever be sold, on Henry. His current character is working better than those he’s had previously, I’ll admit that. But it’s still pretty weak, and the match was almost like a time-kill.
Henry goes on a rampage, attacking the poor sound guy and demanding to know whether or not he played the music.
Commercial.
And, we’re back. Of course, recapping what just happened. Now, to more interesting things.
Daniel Bryan enters, then Teddy, sans music. It was very confusing when neither man walked out with music, because I immediately block out whatever Henry does.
Both lock up immediately, and Teddy has the control to start. But Bryan takes it back. Teddy is put in an excruciatingly awesome submission, before attempting a pin. Bryan to the top rope, misses as Teddy rolls away, and takes a wicked dropkick, as he rolls out of the ring.
Commercial.
Come back and Cole is talking about the fact that it was 110 here when it was taped. Get over it, it was 117 on Friday.
Teddy still in control, trying to wear Bryan down. He gets to his feet and gets fired up, ultimately hitting Ted with a clothesline. Huge dropkick, goes for LeBell but Teddy gets to the ropes. Teddy is launched out of the ring, Bryan follows outside the ropes and lunges at him, but is caught and dropped hard, his screams echoing. Back in the ring, and Teddy is bellowing into Bryan’s face. “You are nothing!†He places Bryan on the ropes, climbs, goes for a superplex that is fought off, and Bryan strikes hard. Teddy goes for DreamStreet, unsuccessful, Bryan applies the Sleeper and Ted taps out as he begins to fade.
Grade: B+
I like this. This works for me. Even when I was there, I was entranced by this match. It was quick from the start and maintained that pace. More, please!
Teddy Long backstage, and Christian reappears. He is holding the contract, assuming he is the new number one contender. Apparently, Christian was seen coming from the production truck after Show’s music played. Teddy then informs him that he’ll be facing Sin Cara for a chance to be the contender. Did you follow that? Is anyone still reading? Oh, good! Thanks!
Commercial.
Teddy is backstage, walking, and runs into Cody. Cody cryptically spells out a specific date, which is apparently the last time Ted won a match. Cody says he can’t work with him if he can’t win, and then hands him a paper bag.
Now, for whatever reason, we’re recapping the history of Jinder Mahal, even though he doesn’t appear on this episode. Oh, I see the point (sort of). Singh is chattering on about the situation. Jinder is jealous, Khali is fantastic…blah. But apparently, Jinder is married to their sister. Okay.
Quick little video package for Sin Cara…
Commercial.
This has bugged me for too long now. Christian’s “CH†in his name spins together on the screen…WHY.
Sin Cara enters next. His entrance is so elaborate and entertaining, it was delightful to see live.
The Smackdown participants for Money in the Bank are announced. Kane, Wade Barrett, Sin Cara, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, and Sheamus. Excellent, all around.
Here we go. Right off the bat, Cara is running around, goes for an arm drag that Christian…rolled away from? He’s outside of the ring, and Cara is taunting him in the ring.
Commercial.
We’re back. Christian seems to have caught up, but not for very long. Cara is all over the place before Christian finally shakes him off. He wears him down, but Cara is back. He charges at Christian, but is throw effortlessly over the ropes, hitting the ground hard. Back in, Christian begins to wear him down again. Now, they’re just trading offense. Cara is down, Christian to the top rope for a splash that doesn’t connect as Cara rolls away. Cara over Christian’s shoulders, flipped for a pin on Christian for two. Christian to the top rope, Cara with a kick, attempts something but is quickly struck down. Christian hops outside the ring, but is met with Cara once more. Both back in, big crossbody from Cara. Christian deftly drops him twice. Christian goes for Killswitch, fought out of, scales ropes, but is tripped, and Cara is met with a Spear to end it.
Grade: B-
It’s frustrating to write about a match that is so back and forth, because it’s quick and you have a lot of sentences that start with “and thenâ€. But I really enjoy them, because they’re usually the more entertaining. Sad to see Cara’s first lost, but it was a hell of a match.
Commercial.
Cody Rhodes is entering as they show University of Phoenix Stadium, home of Wrestlemania 26. Next out, Big Zeke.
While Cole and Booker argue over diction, Cody tries his hand at the big man, unsuccessfully. But Cody is cunning and sneaks in offense where he can. He climbs underneath the ring, as Teddy stands guard and strikes from behind. He manhandles the giant dome of Jackson, but is flawed when he tries to lift him. Jackson uses his strength to stun Cody. DiBiase jumps up, distracting Zeke long enough for Cody to hit first the Beautiful Disaster, then CrossRhodes to win it clean.
Grade: D+
Kind of boring, kind of dull. It appeared to be just a filler and was nothing real special, despite my adoration for Rhodes.
Commercial.
Johnny Curtis again. This week’s pun…â€painting myself into a cornerâ€.
Raw Rebound. Meh. I’ve already seen this about eleven hundred times.
As Kane is entering, here’s yet another story from this night. So, the pyro is loud. Everyone knows that. What some people may not know, is what a germaphobe I am. So, the child in front of me leaned his head back, wiping his sweaty head on the outside of my $11 beer. After staring at it in disgust for a good couple of minutes (nothing against the kid, just like I said…germaphobe), we stood up to watch Kane after his abrupt entrance. My chest was tight from being startled the first time, so as I looked down to try and cleanse my beer, I was much more startled by the second set of pyro once he was in the ring. Only this time, I lost the grip on my beer, dumping it on the child and his seat. Oops!
Commercial.
Kane in the ring, Barrett enters.
Both seem timid when the bell rings, Barrett flaunting his bareknuckle fighting chops, but is taken down by Kane. Both men are out, Kane leads him back only to eat a boot when he tries to climb in.
Commercial.
Barrett seems to be mostly in control when we come back, scuffing up the big red monster. Kane’s poor face is being beaten in by Barrett. He backs Kane into a corner, but Kane finds the lost momentum for a moment, only to be struck back down by Barrett. Wade up on the ropes, sails through the air with a surprising ease, but Kane rolls away. Big dropkick to Barrett’s face, who then fires back with some hits on Kane’s legs. Kane uses those very same legs to send his foot once more into Barrett’s face, and climbs to the top rope, successfully knocking him down. Chokeslam position, but Barrett is out of it. Over his shoulder in Tombstone position, but fights out once more to quickly strike with a sideslam. Finally, the Chokeslam does indeed connect, and it’s over.
Grade: C+
What a delightful surprise, these two were. I really liked their chemistry and they seemed to feed off of each other well. Can’t wait to see them battle it out at MITB.
Commercial.
Teddy Long introduces Christian, and Orton for the contract signing. Christian brought his lawyer with him.
Christian starts, saying that his lawyer read over the contract and it states that he gets an automatic rematch if he is “screwed over†again. Randy scoffs, but Christian gives several examples as to how he is correct. “You can’t beat me,†Christian shouts. Randy says there was a time when he respected Christian, and enjoyed facing him. He goes on to talk about the great matches they’ve put on. He says he’s starting to get angry, and brings up his anger disorder. Finally, he says that Christian will never beat him. Randy signs the contract, Christian’s pen won’t work…the crowd starts to go crazy and suddenly, a wild Sheamus appears! He destroys both men with the Brogue kick, and then tears up the contract.
Credits roll.
