10 Thoughts on WWE Raw 07.11.11-The Continuing CM Punk Saga

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Welcome back to 10 Thoughts on Raw! Before we get to my hot, percolating, almost assuredly B.S. thoughts on this week’s show, I just wanted to remark on a few comments from last week’s column.

Sideshowbob: There was nothing in last week’s Diva’s tag-team match that stood out to me. I want the Divas division to improve, I really do, but neither the Bella Twins or Eve Torres showed me anything last week that I haven’t seen from them before. If you’ve found something positive in the Divas, then good for you. I think that the talent level on the Divas roster is lacking overall; the WWE has the means to pick up just about any female wrestler they want, the company just has to make a concerted effort to improve the division. In my mind, though, improvement is not the Bella Twins or Eve Torres because, to me, they’re not good wrestlers, and I haven’t seen any evolution from them AS wrestlers.

Phil: I’ll agree with you that Alex Riley needs to improve in the ring. A signature move or finisher a la the Stone Cold Stunner or People’s Elbow would help him a lot; he’ll probably never be a masterful technician, but a crowd-pleasing go-to move would go a long way towards making him at least entertaining in the ring. Let’s face it: the Impaler DDT isn’t anything to write home about.

Foxxxy: That scenario could have worked, but there are a few issues. First, the WWE wanted to continue using Punk at house shows, so the fact that Punk was still with the company and had not been “fired” would have leaked out. Second, aside from the MITB matches, nobody was really looking forward to this PPV until Punk cut his promo. So there were only two weeks to build a compelling match, and likely main-event replacements such as The Miz and Alberto del Rio were already penciled-in for the MITB match. Unless they messed with the card, or had Punk make his appearance at the start of the show before the MITB matches got underway, that scenario would have been difficult.

Thanks for the comments, and let’s get to it.

1. Aw, one last CM Punk intro on Raw. I like the fact that he has a megaphone to ensure he doesn’t get cut off again; that’s a nice little bit of continuity there. He really has the crowd divided tonight, which means the crowd reaction during his MITB match should be insanely divided. I have to admit that I love the ‘stache. As a fellow facial-hair enthusiast, I’ll give Punk’s mustache a nine out of ten on the universal Tom Selleck scale.

2. I loved Punk’s pipe-bomb line; it is so absolutely, unbelievably true. Nobody in the WWE right now, NOBODY, is more powerful on the mic than Punk. He has the kind of charisma you used to see from guys like Stone Cold, The Rock, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, etc. The only thing he’s missing are the catchphrases, which I don’t always care for but are a huge hit with the crowd. Wow, and he mentioned the last Cena firing? I’ll cut myself off here; I could go on forever about this promo. If you want to know my opinion about Punk’s promo, I’ll sum it up in one word: amazing.

3. You don’t “get” this match, King? What the hell is there not to “get”? The WWE wants to make Cena seem vulnerable before the MITB PPV. Oh, and good job burying the whole locker-room, Jerry. He’s the only guy that can beat CM Punk? I guess Jerry thinks the Raw roster is only filled with guys like Yoshi Tatsu. Not that Otunga and McGillicutty, even in a handicap match, are going to pose that big a threat to “Super-Cena”. They could try running Cena over in the parking lot, but considering the way Cena is booked, he’d probably manage to break straight through the car’s engine block.

4. I’ve had my fill of Mark Henry video packages, thank you very much WWE. The Big Show/Mark Henry match at MITB could possibly be the slowest match in recent memory, which is what the WWE believes people want, I guess. No wonder the company is having so many problems.

5. Okay, what prompts people to act like total morons when they think a camera is on them? All the people waving their arms behind the Miz while he cuts his promo is kind of distracting, and I don’t know why. And here comes a guy with the opposite of explosive mic skills: Jack Swagger. This whole segment is just turning into more MITB schilling, but I understand that; the show is only six days away. I’ll have my picks for MITB on Pulse Wrestling’s Rasslin’ Roundtable later in the week.

6. I’m sick of the six-man tag-team matches at this point. I understand that the ‘E (yeah, I used that term, deal with it) wants to get as many of their mid-card guys on TV as possible, but these matches don’t do a lot for any of them either. This is the kind of thing that happens when there are too many people on the roster and not enough on-screen time to showcase them all.

7. “He [Cena] is beatable..he’s not Superman.” It goes without saying that Jerry “The King” Lawler has never read any of my columns, but let me feed my own ego and believe that Jerry’s comments were a direct response to my Caught in the Ropes column about the “Super-Cena” character. If that makes me delusional, so be it.

8. Another video package of Vince shooting himself in the foot; this promo was fine until Vince dropped the, “You’re fired!” bomb. I think this angle can still be salvaged, but fans are already a bit soured on it now. Vince could interfere in the match, resulting in Cena becoming disillusioned with the company. Cena could then drop the title out of frustration leading to a championship tournament. We might have to deal the return of Vinnie Mac to Raw, but I think that could at least be interesting in the short-term.

9. I wonder how long it’ll be until Drew McIntyre is “future endeavored”? Dolph came out of this match totally unscathed, though, which is good. I get the feeling that Show might have botched that spot at the end. Drew looked like he took a nasty spill after tumbling off the padding next to the ramp, but I couldn’t see how he landed. Since his legs were on the padding and his upper-body fell over first, he could have landed on his head. I don’t know for sure, but it didn’t look good.

10. Vince pointed out the Zack Ryder sign a fan was holding right next to the ramp; you can’t blame unawareness at this point for the lack of a Ryder push. Every time Punk disrespects Vince, the more popular he’s going to become. This promo has been hilarious thus far; I like the twist they’ve given his character by having him make outlandish requests because he doesn’t want to come back to the WWE. Take some time off Punk, and come back in 6-8 months; you’ll be bigger than you could possibly imagine. The fans will miss you, and their appreciation will only grow in your absence. Okay, Cena, you’re kind of killing this promo now. Please don’t screw this up more than you already have, WWE. Punk is pulling this thing back together and…well, not so much. We essentially ended up right back where we started.

Punk killed it with his promos tonight, like we knew he would. And as much as I get on Cena’s case, I think he did a fine job again on the mic. Some of the cutesy jokes fell like a lead balloon, but I think he did okay for himself. It was nice to see Punk take some air out of the Cena character when he commented on the fact that Cena is now the establishment in wrestling. Has this changed anything for the MITB PPV? No. After all the talk, absolutely nothing has changed going into this PPV. Punk is still leaving, Cena’s job is still on the line, and Vince is still a jerk. But I’m still holding on to some shred of hope that the WWE can, with this feud, drag themselves out of the slump they’ve been in for the last few years. See you next week.

Patrick Spohr learned everything he needed to know about the English language from the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic "Cyborg", including how to artfully describe Jean-Claude being crucified. Armed with this knowledge, Patrick has become a freelance writer of fiction and not-quite-fiction, or non-fiction to the layman.