Kue’s Korner: The Return; Unfocused = Refocus?; A Dose of Painkilla (WWE, TNA)

Columns, Top Story

Don’t I know you from somewhere? Ah yes, I do remember, but it’s been so long. I suppose it’s my fault. But I simply wanted to tell you all something. As Jonah. There’s a reason I came back. It’s not because of the money. It’s not to promote a movie. It’s because of you. And I want to take this moment to tell you all here, millions reading around the world, I want to tell you thank you, I love you, and it is because of you that I am back in this Korner, and it is because of you, and I give you my word, I am never EVER going away.

Wakka.

In all seriousness, I do apologize for my long hiatus from Pulse. With the day job really hitting hard with the workload, and the recent soundtrack work I’ve been involved in for some upcoming short films, it’s simply taken me away from one of my most beloved passions: writing about wrestling. And what a time to be taken away from it. So many events (well, okay, one event, mainly) that have the potential to change the landscape of our lovely little sports/entertainment genre have occurred. Smackdown has really developed into a great show from first minute to last. TNA…..uhh…..Smackdown has really developed into a great show from first minute to last. So, let’s delve into my little Korner once again, shall we?

By and by, for those of you looking for the return of Kue’s ReKall, I’m still reformatting it. It should return next week, and hopefully, will not disappoint (CB, I didn’t forget your shout out, my friend).

 

Twitter: @jonahkue

Blogger: Kue’s Korner Lite

Youtube: Jonah Kue

 

Jonah’s Jumpstart

Eyes Averted, a Blessing?

With so many focused so heavily on Mr.Punk and Mr. Cena this upcoming PPV, the attention on the matches that are the namesake of MITB. Although this may be counterproductive to having these gimmick PPVs, it may work to this particular gimmick’s advantage. Much of the freshness of “Money” has been lost. The main selling point of the match was the unpredictability concerning the aftermath. With the main focus off of these matches this time, the impact of the winner cashing it in that same night (and it will happen, believe me) will be that much more amazing.

Post-Punk

Yep, we’re enjoying this final (and incredible) run of our favorite Straight-Edge hero. But what happens in the aftermath of his leaving? Many are dreading the possibility of things going back to “business as Super Cena usual”, but I’m not sure it can go back to that, not after Punk’s exposing promo. Creative has been getting a bit daring with the acknowledgment of many of their criticisms. One would think this is building to something climactic. Then again, recent history validates skepticism.

What are your thoughts? I’m curious

A Dose of Painkilla

This, my friends, is a new segment on Kue’s Korner. This is where a good friend of mine, Painkilla, will share his insight and analysis on the happenings of the squared circle. Check it, peeps.

Somebody’s Gonna Get Got

‘It only took R Truth a few weeks to completely change our perceptions of his character and see him as a legitimate superstar. Same with Mark Henry (I love watching sound ops get tossed, that shit is hilarious). We have no respect for WWE faces these days unless their in ring ability is astounding (Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan, John Morrison), but for the most part most WWE faces are one dimensional boy scout types who’s motto in life seems to be: “Hey everybody! I’m a real nice guy! I love kids, and I never do anything wrong, but don’t provoke me because I’ll fight anyone anywhere”. And I can’t help but to say: “Who Cares?”

Faces used to be mean! Stone Cold and the Rock were both terrible people! Triple H hit people with sledgehammers! Shawn Michaels was a flashy, promiscuous hedonist! Nobody knew what the fuck Macho Man was ever talking about (OHH YEEEAH!!), Eddie Guerrero LIED, CHEATED, AND STOLE!! But WWE seems hell bent on forcing these boy scout faces down our throats! Which brings me to Cena/Punk.

We all feel the same way about Punk: he’s great. We all feel the same way about Cena: he sucks. I’m pretty sure that the WWE execs know this by now. So what’s it going to take to get them to stop trying to force Cena on us. I’m starting to feel violated!

“Lets have him join the Nexus, get fired, and come back the next week!”,

“Let’s throw him in an I Quit Match and have him not quit! That’ll do the trick!!”

OR

“Let’s have him stand up to Vince McMahon, and stand up for CM Punk so that the IWC will respect him, and then put his job on the line to prove that he’s not Vince’s favorite butt buddy, THEN let’s have Vince threaten to fire him so that everyone will believe that Cena is in real danger! And THEN let’s…”

Do you see where this is going? There is no angle that’s going to make us like Cena, unless it changes his character. This is exactly why The Rock can abandon us for 7 years and then come back and have us cheer him and still boo Cena. Can we go back to having 3 dimensional faces again? Can John Morrison brag about the palace of wisdom and be a complete dick to people? Can Randy Orton talk a bit faster and not do jumping split celebrations in the ring? Can Kofi Kingston call somebody a “punk ass bitch”? Please? I just want to believe that faces are real people, and real people have flaws.’

 

Total Nonstop Articulation

A great PPV. An entertaining PPV. An irrelevant PPV. Nothing more really needs to be said.

Oh, and Joe not only curtain jerked, but jobbed? Really? At this point, all I can say is Fuck TNA. That is all the articulation I can muster this week.

 

Blue Streak

In the apex (excuse the pun) of the feud between Capt. Charisma and the Viper, here comes the insertion of our Celtic Warrior. This sets the obvious in motion. Orton retains, Sheamus emerges victorious from MITB, and takes advantage that same night to transition money into gold, correct? Label me a skeptic. If this little Punk/Cena fiasco is teaching us anything, it’s that ‘E is following that unpredictable suit they had laid out from last year’s pre-Summerslam happenings. And with these three characters booked throughout the PPV card, it seems that Punk/Cena won’t be the only uncertainty that fans will spend their money on.

However, coating this upcoming PPV with the uncertainty vibe is coming at the expense of the other participants of the blue brand’s MITB match. The beginning segment of this past Smackdown did all but squash any heat the non-Irish-born wrestlers had. Since the obvious choice to win the match is Sheamus, I’m counting on anyone but to grab the case. And if my intuition proves correct, this will produce the same fluke sentiment we fans felt when Swagger won the ‘Mania MITB without any build preceding it. I’m glad I have that to look forward to.

I do like Jinder Mahal’s build, but these beatdowns with Khali are getting far too repetitive. Creative, please change this up before we waste another talent.

And who would have guessed, of all the people making good on their pushes, Mark Henry would be on that list. No, I’m not looking forward to the atrocity of a match Henry/Show will inevitably turn out to be. But after Henry wins this, and builds more to his reputation as an unforgiving, strong as hell monster, whoever they choose to go over him will gain tremendous momentum. And I’m hoping with all hope that that’s what they’re planning.

 

Seeing Red

It’s a shame that last week’s Cena/McMahon confrontation watered down the program between Punk and Cena. It would have invited a few more eyes this week to the amazing segment between the two. Punk obviously brought his A game, and Cena finally seemed like a foil to one of his opponents, a role he hasn’t really played well against since his feud with HeelTista. With Punk making every valid point in the book, and echoing the sentiments of an overwhelming majority of the IWC, Cena was on the defense, and was obviously nerve-struck. He finally came off as somewhat three dimensional, which is something we haven’t seen in a long, long time.

Not sure how I feel about all these handicap matches. Of course, Cena no-selling the match by the end of it doesn’t help my favoring them.

I know Vince is attempting to get Kelly over by making the Bellas seem like LayCool Version 2, but those two have about as much charisma as the Brooklyn Brawler. This does little to sway the cynics of Joan in favor of her push. Get her a feud with a heel Beth. Quick.

I didn’t mind the Drew/Ziggler/Show match, though, I could do without all the physical measurements Cole was giving about Show. And Mark Henry is a crazy sumbitch.

Oh, and that last segment? I have no words. Except….untouchable.

 

‘Round the Bend

Mr. Gepp’s introspective of recent turns is quite a read. Check out his View from Down Here.

One of my favorite writers, Mr. Glazer, has returned and shares his frustrations over E’s watering down the Punk/Cena angle and their history of ruining big angles. It’s all on his Tuesday Morning Backlash.

Mark Henry? Overlooked. CM Punk? A new focus. The topics of discussion on Mr. Sanders and his Rager.

My buddy, Rhett Davis, plays host to guest CB, as the two go over big topics in ‘rasslin’. It’s all in The World of O’Really.

Why Cena should be fired? I can think of a handful of reasons. But here some legitimate ones from Joel Leonard in No Chance.

Anyone who knows me knows how much stock I put into feuds being star builders in this business. Mike Gojira goes into feuds that made Superstars in The Stomping Ground.

The ever prestigious Andy Wheeler does a rare For Your Consideration for the blue brand. Check it here.

And finally, an interesting take on how to save Money in the Bank given in CB’s World. Seriously, check his two ways. The second scenario he paints is rather incredible.

 

Klosing Thoughts

As I’ve said, these days are rather hectic, but I will make time for the Korner and the ReKall. I enjoy writing for you lovely people and about one of my favorite passions, the squared-circle. This is why, no matter what the politics or complaints we have about this business or product, I appreciate it so much. There’s a sense of balanced community amongst us fans that I haven’t seen in any other fan base (and I’m definitely nerd enough to be part of many fan bases), and I’m glad to be a part of it.

By and by, one of the short films I’m composing the soundtrack to is the upcoming “Underpaid Narrator”. It’s written and directed by the ridiculously talented Ben Holbrook. Check out the website here.

And with that, I’ll see you guys soon. In autotune.

Adieu.

I like my wrestling almost as much as I do my coffee. And I do love my coffee, as you can tell how much it's affected my skin tone.