No Chance – One more time, singing the praises of CM Punk

Columns, Top Story

Welcome everyone to another edition of No Chance. I’m Joel Leonard, and today I really want to take a look at this extended rivalry between Dolph Ziggler and Kofi. But what I really want to do it take a look at the advantages and disadvantages of Kelly Kelly keeping her title this Sunday. Ah, who am I kidding? Lets talk some more about CM Punk!

It’s been my constant fear for the past three weeks that Punk is actually leaving the WWE. That this Sunday will be the last time we see him, and I will have to dig through YouTube from now on, searching for videos recorded on cell phones of CM Punk wrestling independent house shows if I ever want to see him in action again. But even though I’ve over analyzed each second of Punk’s air time for the past couple of weeks, and read each of his tweets in an attempt to reassure myself that Punk would still be on WWE television, I never wanted to watch him re-sign with the WWE live on television, a week before his match at MITB.

For the first time since I care to remember, I’m going to be watching a PPV for the right reasons. Not be cause it’s a gimmick match that I enjoy (though it is), or because there just happens to be a PPV on this week (which lets face it, is the usual reason I watch a PPV), but because I’m actually invested in a match that is scheduled to take place. I’m invested in both the in ring performer and the storyline surrounding the match. This is a match where I don’t want to just know the outcome, but actually witness it happen. When’s the last time WWE could boast promoting a match like that? And here they were, about to throw it away this week by teasing Punk signing his contract ahead of time.

But lets assume that this is the last time we see Punk. Lets assume that this whole buildup has been for MITB. In that case, all present and future writers of any wrestling show need to take note, look at the storyline and study it, because as far are wrestling goes, this is about as close to perfect as story gets. Far closer to perfect at least, than I ever expected WWE to get. If there is one thing that WWE has a problem with, its finding a good storyline or rivalry and running it into the ground until we can no longer stand the thought of it. In the past year alone this has happened on more than one occasion. Nexus invasion? Interesting until SummerSlam, then tedious and predictable for the rest of the year. Old King/Cole match? Rather entertaining until WrestleMania then near unbearable from the next Monday onward. Punk leaving the WWE? Four weeks. Week one, he announces his intentions. Week two he closes the show out with a promo that makes him the central talking point of the entire wrestling community. Week 3 is fallout from week two and then week four is not one, but two promo’s from our antagonist to drive home the importance of the PPV on Sunday. (Granted if Punk is staying with the company, I fully expect the WWE to mess this all up somehow but for now, the timing is sublime)

Granted the whole storyline is resting largely on CM Punk’s outstanding ability to work a mic. In the hands of a lesser performer, this whole thing could blow up in their face. But lets think for a minute about other mic performers that WWE has up their sleeve. The Miz, though being somewhat wasted in his current Alex Riley feud, can control an audience like few other’s in the locker room right now, and while “Really?” isn’t exactly the new “What?” That Miz seems to want it to be, it seems to get people riled up fairly successfully. We also have R-Truth who more than a month or so after his heel/crazy turn is still exciting to see on mic. The crazy character is one that can say almost anything and still be in character, and if we are going to continue this “fourth wall breaking” era after Punk leaves, Truth’s conspiracy theories are tailor made for this. Even those who can’t stand Super Cena’s five moves of doom, are usually willing to concede that the man’s strongest asset is his ability to cut a promo. Give him the right material to work with and he can keep almost anyone invested in a wrestling storyline. While I don’t want to suggest that any of these can replace Punk, WWE, has the talkers to make their stories something that I would want to get invested in. If only they didn’t spend so much time talking about Vince’s bad-breath backstage.

But there’s one thing that Punk has done that has made this whole storyline really stand out. Almost every week somewhere either in this column or on twitter (cheap plug can be found here) I say give some advice directly to WWE creative. Not that I ever except them to read it or even be aware of its existence, but it’s nice knowing that my advice is out there. Well Punk, in his three promos over these past few weeks (two this week and the original “shoot style” one) actually made me feel like he had read my stuff. Not just mine but everyone who ever complained about how the company was run, or how some stars were unfairly buried, or how Cena getting fired only lasts for a matter of weeks. Punk even brought up WWE ice cream bars and if you say that you didn’t have a vocal reaction to that then I quite frankly don’t believe you. It is said that Cena panders to the crowd and supports the WWE universe but a shout out to whatever city that Raw happens to be filming in that week pales in comparison to Punk voicing a complaint that I had read on the twitter of a random fan one week earlier.

Unrelated thought: Again, with most of the column dedicated to Punk, I have to cram anything else about MITB here at the end. I have to say that Even with Punk drama aside, this is still shaping up to be the best PPV since WrestleMania (and quite possibly before that) Rivalry wise, Orton and Christian have gone on for far to long, but even still the two of them have put on great matches throughout the whole thing so I don’t expect their one on Sunday to be the one where they start phoning it in. Hey I’m even excited to see Big Show fight Mark Henry, something that I never expected myself to be looking forward to. As for the Money in the Bank matches themselves, WWE has done a good job of finding a great gimmick match and using it sparingly so as we might stay invested in the concept. Like the Royal Rumble, each MITB match usually has one great moment to remember and play on highlight reels for years to come, plus the real important thing, finding a winner, to see who the WWE wants to push in the upcoming months. Sure we could get another Jack Swagger style of title run, but then again, we could end up with a new star like the Miz.

Joel Leonard reviews the latest movies each week for Inside Pulse. You can follow him @joelgleo on Twitter though he's not promising to ever tweet anything from there. Joel also co-hosts the Classy Ring Attire podcast and writes the No Chance column on Inside Pulse as well.