Hello everyone!
Welcome back to the Costa del Pulse! Where the sun is shining, a gentle breeze plays across the golden sands, and a man in a truck is selling those WWE ice cream bars that everyone loves so much all of a sudden. Look – there’s Dolph Ziggler, massaging sun-tan lotion into the skin of darling Vickie Guerrero. Attaboy, Dolph. And look – over there – well, if it isn’t Maryse and Christy Hemme engaging in a little beach volleyball! Oh how delightful. And how practical of them, to play in as little clothing as that! Cast your eyes further down the beach, where Sonjay Dutt is performing that little sprinkler dance of his to SoCal Val, while Randy Orton defecates in someone’s beachbag, that rascal. But golly gosh if it isn’t a warm one today! Come, join me; let’s stroll to the shoreline and have a refreshing paddle, shall we? Don’t be shy – dip your toes into the refreshing waters of grappling discourse…
On Samoa Joe’s losing streak
And by ‘refreshing waters of grappling discourse,’ I mean ‘ice-floes of Samoa Joe’s current career direction.’ And by ‘ice-floes’ I mean ‘there’s absolutely NO HEAT WHATSOEVER.’ Not that I’m one to mix metaphors, you understand.
I’m going to pop a cultural taboo here, if I may. I’m going to come right out and say it: Samoa Joe is not, and will never be, relevant in professional wrestling. Certainly never as relevant as he was back in his 2005-6 heyday. The Samoa Joe bubble – and what a bubble it was – has burst with the noise a whoopee cushion being sat on by Mark Henry might make. Which is probably the same noise that Mark Henry makes when he sits on just about anything, come to that. It’s a darn shame, and I’m hardly happy that the man who once showed such incredible promise has fallen flat, but that’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it.
I used to be a real Samoa Joe fan, of course. Most members of the IWC did. Many still are, and I’m very glad that so many have kept the faith where I could not. I freely accept that I’m in the minority here. The man was incredibly fast – not just for a big man, but for any man – and incredibly hard-hitting. His size and talent made him incredibly interesting, and his sing-along fan chants and tremendous move-set made him incredibly compelling. As a fan in attendance at International Showdown in 2005 at the Coventry Skydome (England), I can testify that as incredible as he was on television and YouTube, he was more incredible in real life. ‘Incredible,’ however, is the key term here. And if something seems like it’s too good to be true, it probably is.
Joe’s move from ROH to TNA seemed to signal the beginning of something special. He was allowed to keep his own name, he was a natural at performing in front of larger crowds and larger television audiences, he soon proved that he could pull off even the most extreme of match-types – the Ultimate X – and was more than capable of hanging with guys like Sting and Scott Steiner – living legends who may have overshadowed a lesser talent. To top it all off, Joe embarked upon a winning streak in singles competition which lasted eighteen months (from his debut in June 2005 to Genesis in November 2006). Along the way he won such trophies as the X-Division Championship (four times) and the Super X Cup (2005), and by Bound for Glory 2006 had become embroiled in a feud with then-NWA Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett, and looked set to claim the biggest prize of his career.
But then – and this is in no way Joe’s fault – TNA hired Kurt Angle and lost all interest in Samoa Joe. You see Kurt was everything Joe was – but better. Kurt hit hard, bumped hard, and could work the crowd into a frenzy using submissions, suplexes, and good old-fashioned ring psychology. The primary difference between Kurt and Joe, however (aside from the fact that Angle was far more conventional-looking) was that Angle had ‘big name’ value and a proven history as a main event draw. We internet fans may have known that Joe COULD draw, certainly, given the right push, but to Dixie Carter, Jeff Jarrett et al, there was simply no need to create that push while they had Kurt. Joe, after all, had never held gold for Mr McMahon or performed in the main event at Wrestlemania.
The rest is history. At Kurt’s behest, Joe and he had a storied rivalry which began with Kurt ending Joe’s winning streak. The feud went on for far too long, it must be said, but was responsible for drawing the two biggest buy-rates in the history of TNA (Genesis 2006 and Lockdown 2008). So far so good? Not quite. Kurt Angle was also in both of those matches. To TNA officials, Joe had still not proven that he was ‘the man.’ Perhaps this is why he was finally granted a championship reign with a win over Angle himself – precisely so that Joe could prove himself. Joe’s post-Lockdown Heavyweight Championship reign, however, was so very underwhelming (again, I don’t deny that the booking Joe had to contend with was atrocious) that the ‘Samoan Submission Machine’ will be extremely lucky to so much as sniff the gold again. At least as long as Kurt Angle still wrestles full-time.
Fast-forward to today, and it is nearly three years since Joe lost his World Championship to Sting in an average match in the main event of Bound for Glory IV. And since that moment, Joe’s career has downward spiralled to hitherto unimagined lows. Part of the reason for this is certainly TNA’s somewhat cavalier approach to plot development and common sense. In recent times, Joe has willingly handed Kurt Angle the win in a King of the Mountain match, been kidnapped by ninjas, allegedly murdered Scott Steiner with a machete, and been mentored by Taz. Right now, Joe’s current character arc sees him on the wrong end of a ‘losing streak’ storyline. And if there’s one gimmick which has never, ever got a guy over, it’s the losing streak. You never hear Joe complain, of course, and that much is to his credit.
What isn’t to Joe’s credit is the very simple fact that in the ring he simply doesn’t look like his heart is in it anymore. Perhaps the naff storylines have finally gotten to him, perhaps he is tired of having to carry lesser talents, but the net result is that Joe’s bouts have been distinctly paint-by-numbers for a very long time now. The occasional great bout with RVD doesn’t make up for three years of half-heartedness. Matched against less capable wrestlers such as Morgan, Steiner, and Crimson, Joe shouldn’t descend to their level – he should do what Michaels, Rock and Austin did, and bring lesser wrestlers up to HIS level. Remember Rock’s match on Raw against The Hurricane? Exactly! Remember Undertaker’s match on Smackdown! against Festus? Remember HBK or Ric Flair against, well, anyone?
It isn’t just matches either – it’s characterisation. The ‘Nation of Violence’ gimmick could have been great! Sure TNA forgot all about it, but Joe didn’t do anything to remind them. In fact, he didn’t do anything with it at all, short of scowling more and applying dodgy face paint. The same people who complain that Joe isn’t treated properly are the same people who can’t see that Joe isn’t helping his own case. Zack Ryder has had just one match on Raw in four months, and yet he’s more popular than ever! Santino Marella is a ridiculous comedy act – but he clearly enjoys what he does and the fans, like it or not, react to him. AJ Styles overcame losing to everyone and wrestling in a turkey outfit – and two years later he was the champ! How is it that a man with Joe’s gifts hasn’t been able to make even his comparatively enviable situation work for him, when doing so could so easily blast his rocket back to the main event?
Joe is far from the first man to be the victim of bad booking – but the best performers take whatever lemons they’re given and make lemon cheesecake. Austin, Cena, Eddie Guerrero, Booker T, AJ Styles and Undertaker have all put up with their share of terrible booking in the past – but they damn well made the most of it on their way to the top. Sooner or later, genuine talent and hard work shines through – which is exactly why CM Punk is currently lighting the world up mere months after being fed to the Big Show and Randy Orton. We may be hopeful that Joe’s losing streak appears to be coming to an end, and that while he remains emotionless during matches, he has started to express more and more anger after each loss in what could be the genesis of a(nother) heel turn. Will Joe make the most of a fresh chance and regain some of his old ROH passion? Or will he let another story run its course without making a jot of difference? I hope the former, but fear the latter. You see, while it is a truth universally acknowledged that booking in TNA / Impact Wrestling is atrocious – no use pretending otherwise – to blame all of Joe’s woes on Russo and co. is short-sighted. Sooner or later, Joe must hold himself to account.
Class dismissed.
*Extra Credit*
1)     Controversial one today, I know. I want to clarify that I do like Samoa Joe. I’d love to see him on top again, although I fear that it won’t ever happen. What are your thoughts on the matter?
2)     Did anyone else find it ironic that during the Destination X bonus tag match, Shark Boy was the only one who didn’t look like a fish out of water on pay-per-view. Knowing that all Generation Me wanted to do was get out and go home, though, that kind of explains it…
3)     Hold on: so the company is called ‘Impact Wrestling,’ but its main title is the ‘TNA World Heavyweight Championship.’ Wait – what?
4)     When did Daniel Bryan start using the Dynamite Kid-esque diving headbutt in WWE matches? I won’t complain – he performs it beautifully – and I’m glad that most of the moves which Benoit made famous in WWE have now been appropriated by fresh performers. It’s fitting that Bryan, the most technically sound guy in the company, gets the two coolest ones. Because let’s face it: who sees the LeBell Lock and DOESN’T still think “Crossface� (Bry’s version does look like it hurts more, though.)
5)     I’m glad that Darren Young’s past in Nexus gets acknowledged on NXT. Although I can’t quite work out if that makes him seem a stronger or weaker competitor…
6)Â Â Â Â Â In the process of writing this article, I remembered that Bobby Lashley was once in TNA. Looking back, though, is it any wonder that I forgot?
7)     CM Punk > Everything else on television right now. That’s all that needs to be said on the matter.
8)  Matt Hardy needs to hang it up. This business is clearly no good for him anymore, and his brother doesn’t seem to be faring any better.
