This Week In ‘E – 08.01.2011: CM Punk Makes People Money

This week, we discuss CM Punk’s return, the double-champion situation the WWE is involved with, and many other things.

My Space

Last week’s column was a washout because I forgot to add this column to the one hundred-one things that I needed to get done during my vacation. Anyhow, I’m back this week and I’m itching to get this column done in less time than it takes to get through my checkout line at work. 20 items or less? Nonsense, if you have 50 items or more, come on down because I look stupid standing in the express lane while everyone else is at another checkout waiting their turn.

The News of the Week

“STAMFORD, Conn., Jul 29, 2011 (BUSINESS WIRE) — WWE announced that its Board of Directors today declared the Company’s regular quarterly dividend of $0.12 per share for all Class A and B shares of common stock. The record date for the dividend will be September 15, 2011, and the payment date will be September 26, 2011.”

If you notice, I left out the legal notice from WWE’s press release because it’s information that is irrelevant to the main point. I’m not overly big on reporting the corporate side of the WWE, because it’s boring. But when the WWE announces their quarterly dividend, it’s major news to those who has a few (thousand) shares of WWE stock. Perhaps you could send your dividend checks to the U.S. Government since they are broke, but that’s better left for a political column. The WWE is still financially stable and it appears that keeping Vince McMahon off TV will allow him to please stockholders and come up with new inventive ideas that don’t suck.

Welcome Back, CM Punk

CM Punk has returned to the WWE last Monday Night with his WWE Championship and he confronted the new WWE Champion “of the Triple H Era”, John Cena.

This does put the WWE in an interesting predicament. First of all, CM Punk returned using “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour, thus giving that music group a decent payday in terms of people downloading that song. This one is big because Vince would rather use original music instead of paying royalties for non-original music. How much did it cost the WWE to acquire the music? Probably not as much as it would have cost them to use Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” on a regular basis for Sandman.

Secondly, how does one treat the WWE Championship reign? Logistically, since CM Punk was “unemployed” (if you call it that, the jury is still out on this one), his title reign would have been non-existant. But, since we’re suspending logic right now, we’ll know who the true champion is at Summerslam.

This is a great time to introduce a new feature. I call it the Question of the Week. I’ll ask a question and leave it to you guys to respond. There’s no right or wrong answer as I’m just curious as to what my readers are thinking right now.

Question of the Week

Did the WWE rush CM Punk’s return? Should CM Punk stayed away longer (if it was feasible)?

Two parts, I know.

Woo, Woo, Woo. You know it.

Zack Ryder made his way back on the top WWE shows after being shown in cutscenes for the past few months. He wrestled Triple ahem, Michael Cole in a thirty second squash last Monday. But Friday night, he was appointed Teddy Long’s assistant.

It’s about time that Zack Ryder gets noticed.  Will this lead to a decent push for one of the secondary championships?


CM Punk will make a statement on RAW tonight. It will consist of him being the true WWE Champion and that John Cena is just a fake champion. Triple H will probably make light of the dual champion scenario and Alberto del Rio will probably fake-cash in his title shot again only to be outsmarted.  There’s also a Battle Royal with all the WWE Divas which will last a couple minutes and will ultimately lead to a Bella Twin to challenge Kelly Kelly for the title at Summerslam.

Last Week…



The Top Five

Each week, I will rank the top five WWE superstars based on promo work, match skills, strength of their competition, title wins or retentions, and personal bias.

5. John Cena – He won some championship last week. I want to say the WWE Championship, but CM Punk is the WWE Champion. I don’t have as much love for Cena winning the title because after awhile it becomes stale. I was very critical when Triple H hogged the championship spotlight many years ago. John Cena does not need the championship in order to be the face of the WWE. He doesn’t need the WWE Championship RIGHT NOW, because WrestleMania is still several months away. Although Cena/Rock does not need the WWE Title to make it important, that is the way the WWE wants to go with it, even if it is the wrong move.

4. Randy Orton – He showed R-Truth (and Christan) that he knows how to use weapons.

3. Zack Ryder – He showed up on RAW and beat Michael Cole in a quick match and was announced as Teddy Long’s assistant on SmackDown. You wanted him. You Got him. Woo, Woo, Woo.

2. Triple H – The man brought back Jim Ross, CM Punk, and John Morrison back to WWE RAW; he showed Christan that he isn’t Teddy Long and that he won’t run over him; and he made Zack Ryder Teddy Long’s assistant. All without breaking a sweat.

1. Rey Mysterio – He won some championship last week. I want to say the WWE Championship, but CM Punk is the WWE Champion. Yes, I said it twice. However, Rey not only won a title, but he defended it on the same night and even though he lost the title defense, putting on two decent matches with the big championship feel is always worth the top slot when it’s hard to decide who on SmackDown is worthy of being in the top five.

Thank You, Come Again

Maybe next week’s version of the ‘E will feature something other than CM Punk.  I would love to write all day about CM Punk, but we have other talented writers that do that and a whole lot more, so check out the columns on Pulse Wrestling. I would spotlight a few, but everyone deserves the credit.  Thanks again for reading me this week and please send some cooler weather to the Midwest.

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