Welcome, my sticky friends, to another installment of The Rager. As always, I am your honorable Gondolier to assist you through this murky, thick canal of rage. And don’t kid yourself, Andy Levine, there’s nothing silent about it.
Lately, I’ve felt like all I do is give you a snarky recap of Raw and, lets be honest, Rhett Davis is way better at recaps than I am. So with that being said, lets try to cover the entire company this time, ay?
Keystone
The irony of what I just said in the above paragraph is that I’m now going to talk about Raw. But first, a lesson in architecture.
The Keystone is basically the apex piece of a stone arch. Until the keystone is in place, the structure is unable to support itself independently.
I mean that tidbit of information to make this point: Raw is still dependent on its champion. If you haven’t noticed, almost every segment on Raw the past few weeks has mentioned the WWE Championship and it seems like everybody is on standby until there’s only one champ and everything is resolved. So bringing back my original point, when a champ is in place at the pinnacle, everything is held into place but when its not, everything falls into confusion. Kudos to WWE if this was their plan but, lets be honest, they probably just stumbled upon it and I’m over-analyzing…because its what I do.
Week 2 of the New Regime
This week we’ve seen HHH in his first Raw and Smackdown and we’ve already seen him declare that he will not tolerate interruptions and that he has a think for micro-managing Teddy Long, but then again, nothing new. We saw this on Raw where John Cena and CM Punk stepped all over HHH’s words until he asserted himself, put them both in their place and laid down the law. Sure it was anti-climatic to just make the announcement and leave but boy did he look like the alpha male in doing so. I personally got annoyed with the raising their championship pissing contest accompanied by dueling entrance music. Like I stating last week, so much has to changed in order to stay the same.
Riding on Ryder
So here’s to hoping Zack Ryder stays on as Teddy Long’s assistant, yes? Lets be honest, he’s very lovable and he is talented in the ring BUT given his current character, I highly doubt WEE will put him in a serious top tier situation. Mid-card? Absolutely but possibly in a borderline Santino-like situation and do the Ryder fans really want that? Sure, he belongs on television, I absolutely agree and that’s where this Long’s assistant comes into play as a brilliant fit. Lets be honest, Long’s character is very one-sided and boring, Ryder adds a lot more interest to that situation and gives the internet something to watch on a Friday night.
Anything else?
Not so much, especially as far as Smackdown goes. A show that had some promise is now going nowhere fast. We’ve got the same rivalry for the championship for so long that I’ve lost count on the months and it was stale about 2 months ago. The only real refreshing thing about it is Daniel Bryan being booked as a legit threat and he’s got me drooling at the idea of cashing in his contract at Wrestlemania. Also, what I do enjoy is how Sheamus is coming along as a face because, as its been well documented, WWE is in great need of top tier faces so look for Sheamus to contend for the Heavyweight Championship once Orton finally takes a backseat.
Final Thought of the Day
WHERE ARE YOU CHRIS MASTERS?! Seriously, I’ve been calling for a decent push for him for a while and all he got was a winning streak on Superstars. No bueno, WEE, no bueno.
I don’t really have any anti-movies for you all this week as I am giving myself a break from sitting through awful movies for a little bit. But whenever I decide for that to return, are there any movies you know of that you would like me to torture myself with and highlight on here? Send me your ideas on Facebook, I’m the bloke with the gash and all the blood.
In regular movie interest, I saw Captain America as well as Cowboys and Aliens. If you haven’t seen either, I highly encourage you to see both. HOWEVER, if you’re forced to choose one over the other, go with Cowboys and Aliens. Capt. America was good but it was too rushed and not a whole lot of story, just a lot of montage scenes to get to the big action. Whereas C&A was just gold in my eyes. I mean, its James Bond, Han Solo, 13 and Justin Hammer. If you want to see a great super hero movie, go back and watch Thor. Yes, I know my girlfriend will hate me so much for saying that but she also can’t stand wrestling so its not like she would read this anyway.
Also, join me every week for Live Rager on Twitter during Raw. Hopefully I won’t be as much of a cynical prick as I was this week but I can’t make any promises.
Have a great week,
Chris
The Answer is: HHH doesn’t say “quite frankly” when you try to make a drinking game out of it.
