Well, I make my triumphant return to the Smackdown Reports, after the longest few weeks of my life. Want to hear about the details? Of course you don’t. So, let’s just dive right in to the wrestling, shall we?
We open the show with a video package consisting of Mark Henry and Sheamus…dear god, what have I missed? This immediately leads into Sheamus entering, followed shortly by Jinder Mahal…in a suit. So, Khali will be in action. Okay.
Bell rings, and the two hesitate to break their eye contract. Sheamus jumps, but is tossed away. Sheamus uses his quickness to dart around Khali, landing a few punches, but is reintroduced to the mat. Khali stalks Sheamus to the ropes, but Sheamus wiggles out and tangles him up long enough to strike a few more times, this time leveling the big man. He climbs to the top rope, but Khali cuts him down as he topples outside the ring. Sheamus’s neck is met with the giant boot of Khali, who cuts off the air supply. Sheamus doesn’t give up, fighting once more to regain control. Finally fired up, Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick but is stopped midair. Khali goes for his vice grip, which drops Sheamus quickly. He fades, but brings it back up, throwing elbows and attempting once more for the Brogue Kick, which connects and he picks up the victory.
Later tonight, we’ll see Randy Orton team up with John Morrison to face Christian and R-Truth. Seems interesting.
Commercial.
Oh, that headache that I haven’t felt since the last time I watched Smackdown is back as AJ enters, followed by Natalya. They’re facing each other? I’m never missing an episode again.
Bell rings, and we’re off. Both are getting equal shots at each other. They circle, and AJ has the control, not allowing Natalya to wiggle out of a hold. Big spot from AJ that almost wasn’t. Nattie on top trying something that is quickly reversed by AJ. But, the momentum stops as Nattie locks in the Sharpshooter and AJ taps within seconds.
After the match, Natalya starts to help AJ up, but suddenly slams her, unleashing an attack outside the ring that nearly breaks the petite Diva in half. She finishes her off with a sharp suplex on the hard floor. Nattie, with a mic, says, “Beth Phoenix, I’m with you sister.†She says that the days of perky little princess is indeed over. Thank god!
“State of the Showski Address†is coming at us later. Some Zack Ryder mixed in with my Blue Crew? Excellent.
Commercial.
Matt Striker backstage with Randy Orton, discussing the attack he initiated on R-Truth last week. He goes on to mention how Christian will have to beat him through submission on pinfall, something he’s never done before.
From there, they recap the media exposure for Justin Gabriel when they ventured back to his hometown recently. Cute.
Wade Barrett enters next, dressed in a very dapper suit. Quickly, they recap Barrett’s run-in with Daniel Bryan, before fading out.
Commercial.
Tyson Kidd is in the ring when we return. Naturally, Daniel Bryan enters next. Wait, they gave him a big boy song? Good for you, kiddo.
Here we go. Barrett chatters on about his disgust for Daniel Bryan’s victory at Money in the Bank as both men are a mess of arms and legs before finally getting enough space to fly. Both men are outside the ring after Tyson is launched, but he won’t let Bryan climb back in. The quick feet of Tyson drill Bryan, and he wraps him around the steel post for a figure four that looks brutal…
Commercial.
When we come back, Kidd is still working on the left leg of Daniel Bryan, straining it in every way he can think of. Finally, he breaks away and climbs to the top rope but is stopped by Kidd, stunning Bryan. Both men standing tall at the turnbuckle, superplex position but is pushed down, allowing Bryan to hit a missile dropkick that nearly kills Kidd. Not for long though, as Kidd picks up where he left off. Both going back and forth trying to steal a pin, but it’s Bryan that gets to exact revenge. Big kick from Daniel Bryan that stuns Kidd long enough for Bryan to lock in the right submission, as Kidd taps out.
And, there he is! Zack Ryder backstage…what a delight!
Commercial.
“Oh, radio, tell me everything you know…â€
Mr. Long Island Iced Z waltzes out. Just as he is leading into the purpose of the address, Big Zeke makes his way out. He is angry with Ryder for the handicap match against Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, which makes their ears burn hard enough to enter. Cody says that Zeke doesn’t deserve to be champion. Zeke retorts with saying that Ted is being used, and brings up his time in Corre. “There is nothing greater than freedom.†Cody puts Teddy up for a match against Zeke, which Zack is all for, before Teddy Long enters.
Long reminds Zack Ryder that he is not the Assistant General Manager…he’s just the assistant. And, instead of Teddy facing Zeke, Zeke would go up against Ryder…right now!
Ryder seems all for it when the bell rings, jumping right off the bat, but Zeke’s strength gives him the upper hand. Zack fires back with some hard kicks to the domepiece, before hitting some of his signature maneuvers. Zeke refuses to be pinned, as he effortlessly tosses Ryder away. Ryder to the top rope, caught, a few body slams before he is slung over Zeke’s shoulders, for the Torture Rack, which Ryder taps out to.
Teddy Long hears a knock at the door, backstage, and…WHOA. Aksana? She looks…wow.
Mark Henry backstage, looking all sweaty and junk.
Commercial.
And, we’re back. Mark Henry enters, and already in the ring…Kozlov? This hurts my heart.
Henry is already manhandling the Russian, but Kozlov is quicker. He darts around, hitting whatever offense he can. But, he’s laid out within seconds, and then struck with the Slam. It’s over.
But, he’s not done. Henry shoves Kozlov’s leg in a steel chair, jumping hard onto it. As Kozlov reels, Sheamus runs out with his own steel chair, as Henry tears apart the announce table in a rage. Sheamus extends his arms in a taunting fashion as Henry stalks away, past the stretchers that are coming to Kozlov’s aid.
Shifting gears, we see Morrison backstage doing his usual parkour-y goodness.
Commercial.
We’re chatting with Sheamus backstage now. At first he talks about Henry’s other victims, but then changes to his Irish roots. “I was born with a 24 carat horse shoe, up my arse.†Well, that sounds unpleasant.
What the hell is this nonsense? Hennig, Otunga, and JTG? Not okay. After them, Barreta is out, along with the Usos. I still simply adore their entrance. Never stop!
Jey and JTG start out, but Jimmy is in quickly. Both get tangled up with the ref, who I’m sorry, has got to be 12 years old. Anyway. Hennig in momentarily, then Otunga. Some serious guns on Otunga, as he smothers Jimmy. Hennig back in, Otunga in, both men synchronized as they work on Jimmy. Barreta in, taking out JTG, and handling Hennig like a boss. An Uso is taking care of JTG outside the ring, Otunga joins in, so Barreta and Hennig can go at it. Hennig halts an offensive maneuver from Barreta, Otunga tags in and collects on the pinfall.
Commercial.
Johnny Curtis backstage, and finally the wordplay is over. It seems he’ll debut on Smackdown next week!
Raw Rebound time, taking a look at Punk/Cena. We all know what happened, right? Well, I don’t. But oh well. I do now. I gotta say, I lost my faith in Monday Night Raw for a long, long time. But, maybe I should start tuning in again…
Now, we get to chit-chat with Christian backstage. R-Truth interrupts with some more nonsense, and Christian ends it with, “Who the hell is little Jimmy?â€
Randy Orton enters first…
Commercial.
Next to enter is JoMo. Next out, R-Truth, and finally Christian.
Randy and Truth first, wasting little time. Truth backs Randy into the corner, stomping at the ref counts. But he doesn’t have the upper hand for long, Randy with a firm handle on the situation. JoMo is in, and Truth tags Christian in. Both men circle, Christian keeping an eye on Randy, JoMo lands a huge dropkick on Christian for a near fall. Stunned, Christian rolls to the edge of the ring, setting JoMo up and taking the control. Truth tags in, and JoMo finds his momentum, landing punches left and right. Truth counters and gloats in the middle of the ring, sets up for a suplex but takes too long as JoMo turns out of it. Obviously heated, JoMo takes his frustration out. Christian jumps in to help, and Randy darts towards him, chasing him into the stands as Christian scrambles away. The ref forces him to return to the ring…
Commercial.
And, we’re back. JoMo and Truth going at it on foot, trading punches before JoMo eliminates Christian from the corner, but Truth ejects him as well. The men are a foot away from each other, trying to recover. Christian climbs back up, and Truth meets JoMo outside the ring, tossing him back in to pick up where he left off. Christian tags in as JoMo chews on the mat, and continues the brutal attack while staring directly at Randy. Christian to the top rope, but JoMo rolls out of the way, giving them enough space for JoMo to reach…but Christian separates the two. Truth back in, JoMo gritting his teeth and getting angrier. Boom, he hits an incredibly impressive spot, and finally getting the tag. Randy and Christian are both in, Christian feeling the wrath of the Viper, both moving at an astounding pace. Hit after hit, reversal after reversal. Christian goes for the Killswitch but Randy fights it off. Wow, big roll up from Randy, Christian counters, Randy goes for hit punt, but Truth appears out of nowhere…as does JoMo. Both take their fight outside so that Christian and Randy could finish theirs. Christian in the ropes, DDT connects. Truth appears again and takes the RKO, so that Christian could hit the Killswitch, to win it.
Both men bolt out, with Christian passionately smooching his belt.
Credits roll.
