Caught in the Ropes- WWE Summerslam Hangover (Cena, Punk, Nash)

Columns, Top Story

Welcome back to Caught in the Ropes! I’m your usual host…blah, blah, blah. Let’s get to talkin’ ’bout Summerslam. It was…a show. Was it everything I and many others hoped it would be? No. I don’t really need to elaborate on that. Instead, let’s go match by match and talk through this mess. Before we get to that, make sure to check out 10 Thoughts on Raw this week where I’ll give you the run-down on tonight’s show.

Kofi/Morrison/Mysterio vs. Miz/del Rio/R-Truth

Filler: that’s the only word I really need to use in order to describe this match. It was okay, but not anything you couldn’t see on any given episode of Raw. Come on, WWE, you can’t be bothered to have an IC or US title match? The only reason I can propose for the WWE including this match, aside from giving their mid- and upper-mid-carders something to do on the second biggest PPV of the year, is to act as a red herring that will give viewers pause-for-thought concerning del Rio using the MITB briefcase at the end of the night. The match itself was your usual six-man tag stuff; not bad. But on the second biggest PPV of the year, the WWE should have found something far more interesting to do.

Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

At Capitol Punishment, Alex Riley got over his mentor Miz in their first real match against one another. I said then that the WWE pulled the trigger too early on A-Ry, and should have booked him to lose that match before getting revenge at Summerslam or MITB. A few months later, Sheamus is losing to Mark Henry, which never should have happened. Sheamus is more or less established in the WWE; A-Ry isn’t. Keeping Sheamus in a feud with Mark Henry is good for absolutely no one, especially since Sheamus’ face character seemed to be getting over with the crowd. Henry is a permanent mid- to lower-mid-carder, and if the WWE wants to push Sheamus back into the title picture, and I think they do, then he should have come away with the victory.

Where do they go from here? I suppose Sheamus could feud for the IC belt, but is that really a step in the right direction? The other option is to pretend the Henry/Sheamus feud never happened and move Sheamus into the Heavyweight title picture, or move both of them into contention. Regardless, this was poor booking on WWE’s part.

Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix

Probably the worst booking decision of the night, Kelly Kelly retains her title. Why? I have no clue. Kelly is about as entertaining as half-a-bottle of Elmer’s Glue and wrestles like one too. One can only assume that the WWE is trying to make Kelly look legitimate until Beth takes the belt off her at Night of Champions. This course of action is, let’s be honest, stupid. No one buys that Kelly Kelly can beat Beth Phoenix in a match…ever. The Divas division will be a joke so long as Kelly has the belt. Not that Beth wearing the belt will automatically cure all of the division’s ills, but it would certainly be a step in the right direction.

Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan

This was the other throw-away match of the evening. Barrett picking up the win here gets him back on track; Bryan won the MITB briefcase last month, so I don’t think it’s the end of the world that he lost here. Will we see more of this feud? No idea. This was another match that was pieced together at the last minute to fill-out the card, so I say the odds are low that this feud will continue much longer. I’m not sure where the two of them will go from here. Barrett could go back into the IC title hunt, as could Bryan, or both could be shoved into a meaningless feud for next month’s PPV, or they could find themselves in a Heavyweight Championship match. This all really depends on what Creative has in store for Smackdown now that Randal has the belt back around his waist.

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Randal wins…again. The whole lead-up to this match screamed, “Randy Orton victory!” but I’m still a tad disappointed. Christian looked weak during his title run, and who knows if they’re going to keep him in the main-event picture now that this feud is over with. As I’ve mentioned, the road moving forward for Smackdown seems really murky right now. Who’s going to be feuding with Randal next? They could turn him heel and put him in a program with Sheamus, but that seems unlikely; Sheamus’ face turn is still freshly minted, and I don’t think the WWE is ready to hand the reins of Smackdown over to him. Bryan could turn heel and cash-in his MITB contract, which might be a nice break from the, “Aw, shucks!” nice guy he’s playing currently. The ‘E could also square him off against Mark Henry (vomits), or start building towards a Fatal Four-Way match at Night of Champions.

Then again, the WWE could bring someone like Jericho back. Really, there isn’t much to the Smackdown roster as it stands currently. Guys like Bryan and Barrett could be shoe-horned into the main-event picture out of necessity, but those guys need to get a good build-up before a title run to make them seem legit. Unfortunately, the air has been let out of Randal’s feud with Christian, so they can’t go back to the well again and buy themselves some time to line up a new opponent.

CM Punk vs. John Cena

So Punk wins despite Cena’s leg being propped up on the rope, Kevin Nash power-bombs Punk during his celebration, and Alberto picks up his first WWE Championship. Alberto winning the belt is no big surprise, and I see the WWE building to a three-way title match at Night of Champions. The WWE took the easy way out here, pinning the loss on HHH and Kevin Nash rather than on either Punk or Cena. At the very least, HHH didn’t embroil himself too deeply in this storyline; he called the match fairly and missed a call at the end. No heel turn, no shenanigans. Except, the WWE used this storyline a month ago during the Orton/Christian feud. Really, this Summerslam main-event solved the issue of having two WWE Championship belts, but didn’t solve anything between Cena and Punk in the long-run.

Summerslam failed to live up to its reputation as the “Wrestlemania of the Summer”. Really, there were a few filler matches and a number of poor booking decisions that will only extend some of these feuds until September. As the company’s second biggest show of the year, one would expect more from the WWE. Well, see you next week.

Patrick Spohr learned everything he needed to know about the English language from the Jean-Claude Van Damme classic "Cyborg", including how to artfully describe Jean-Claude being crucified. Armed with this knowledge, Patrick has become a freelance writer of fiction and not-quite-fiction, or non-fiction to the layman.