No Chance – CM Punk and John Cena’s Match Leads to Brand New Feuds for all Involved

Ah SummerSlam, the WrestleMania of the summer. But more than that, SummerSlam, ended this time around with quite a bang. In a mere 90 seconds we had a major bad call, a surprise appearance and a cash in for MiTB. Even Triple H had a nice stunned look on his face at the end of the show. So now Raw has plenty of questions to answer, not the least of which being, so is Stephanie back now? When did that happen? But before we get into that, lets take a quick little look at what happened during the rest of SummerSlam.

First, SummerSlam

With there only being a few matches on the SummerSlam card, I think we have time to do a quick rundown of the show before getting into Monday night and the future storylines of WWE.

First we had a three-way tag team match. Maybe it was the lack of buildup for the match, (not announced until it was actually starting) but I was in no way, invested in the match. What is an even bigger shame is that a falls count anywhere match between Morrison and R-Truth would have looked great on a PPV instead of being thrown away on the next night’s Raw.

Mark Henry and Sheamus worked just because the crowd seemed to love this newly face version of Sheamus. I’m content that Henry won because his bully character is still working, and I expect when it does wear of he’s going to fade once again to the mid card purgatory so, give the guy his big feuds while you can.

While I am angered that Beth Phoenix is not champion right now, I will begrudgingly say that Kelly squared probably had her greatest match that I’ve ever seen. (Not that that’s saying much) I wonder if, like Punk and Cena, Phoenix is able to force her opponent to perform better. In fact, due to my dislike of the opening match.  I might even go so far as to say that the Diva’s match was the second worst of the night instead of its usual last place. (Again, “might”)

The only two original Nexus members who seem to have careers left put on a great straightforward match. I would have liked more commentary about how this time last year they were both in the main event and Bryan had made a triumphant return. Cole seemed to start to make some comments alone those lines, but it had been almost thirty seconds since Lawler had needlessly insulted Cole, so that had to happen again instead of any actual commentary on the match.

Even though they’ve faced each other at the past several PPV’s Orton and Christian still managed to put on an entertaining match. The “no holds bared” gimmick” worked and resulted in two smashed tables, a broken kendo stick, the Spanish announce table getting trashed, ruined trashcans, and a final RKO over some steps. This match truly felt like it belonged on a PPV. That being said however, with Randy having the belt once again, I don’t think there is anywhere else for this feud to go, and no match is going to have a more finale feeling than that one did.

We will get to the Nash/Del Rio aftermath of the final match in a minute, but as for the actual match itself. I find it frustrating that they are still using the phrase “undisputed champion” when the whole foot on the ropes ending makes it completely disputed as far as I’m concerned.


Now, On to Monday Night…

At the end of SummerSlam, we had Cena losing the title thanks to Triple H, Punk losing the title thanks to Nash, and new Champion Del Rio, with a match already scheduled against Rey Mysterio. Three brand new feuds, to take us into the fall. Well Punk certainly seems to have found the right place to put the blame. He starts off by letting Del Rio off the hook, before confronting Nash. After a good bit of promo cutting time, Punk heads back to the lockers to confront Triple H. I expect this will lead into a rather lengthy storyline that more or less boils down to “Who sent that text.” One advantage of this story is that it could limit the amount of episodes that Nash is on Raw. While I like the guy enough, and it was kinda cool to see him back for a night, I have no real desire to see him take to the ring again in a full blown out feud. And Punk needs to stay relevant and in the main event now, even if it’s not with John Cena. Side note: It seems painfully obvious right now that Steph McMahon was the sender of the text, otherwise, why would she even be back, but I do hope that creative puts in just enough effort to come up with something a bit more surprising than that.

Now we get to John Cena’s new feud. Rather than get angry at Triple H, the man who single handedly ruined his title run by making a bad call (after Cena predicted he might last Monday no less) Cena does not get on mic to yell at Trips. No, instead he apparently has a beef with Del Rio, a man who didn’t even come out until Cena had gone backstage at SummerSlam. They probably passed each other at the top of the ramp. If Cena felt that strongly against cashing in MiTB the way it has always been cashed in, then he could have stopped Del Rio.

But that’s the problem. We get no real reasoning for Cena to be mad at Del Rio other than a weak complaint about steeling the title. I don’t think Cena was even this mad when the MiTB briefcase was cashed in on him. But for some reason we’re supposed to believe that Cena got riled up about it this time around. The fact that Punk had already spoken on the subject earlier in the show and complemented Del Rio on his timing makes Cena’s outrage even more ludicrous. It’s not like Punk needs defending. He can take care of himself.

The problem with such a weak line of reasoning, as the one Cena displayed on Monday is that it makes it painfully clear that as long as Cena doesn’t have the belt, he’s going to have a problem with whoever does, at least until he fights the Rock in April. So why can’t he just say that? “You have the belt now. Nice victory, but I’m afraid I need that belt to make my WrestleMania match a title match.” What’s so wrong about wanting the title, just to want the title? But no, Cena needs to have noble reasons behind every action that he does.  It’s that kind of twisted, stretched, and weak logic that makes the constant needing of pure nobility the worst part of the Super-Cena character.


Unrelated Thought

Longtime fans of The Simpsons, will recall a character named Poochie, a dog, voiced by Homer, added to the Itchy and Scratchy segments that was supposed to make the show “hip” and “edgy.” Basically having all the traits that network executives thought meant “attitude” in the 90s, which mostly consisted of wearing sunglasses and a backwards ball cap. Maybe a cool jacket if the character was supposed to be extra “rad.” Well last night, who should we see come out to defend the tag team belts (which I forgot existed) but the now totally defunct Nexus in their new personas featuring…sunglasses…a backwards cap…. and is that a jacket? Clearly a marathon viewing of cartoons from the 90s was being watched when these new Nexus members were created. So, until these guys lose the belts (and quite possibly go back to FCW to try again) In my mind, they will be Team Poochie.

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