We begin with a recap of how Christian lost the Heavyweight title, but quickly cut live, as Teddy Long personally introduces Randy Orton. After the World’s Longest Entrance, he picks up a mic. He details the journey to recapturing it, but Teddy announces who his next opponent will be. The winner of the 20 Man Battle Royale in the main event!
Cody Rhodes and Teddy stomp out, interrupting Teddy Long. Cody brings up the Legacy and how they were seen as lesser beings. But, not anymore! He demonstrates that they are both champions, but he’s not satisfied with just the Intercontinental Championship. Teddy begins speaking, talking about how well they know Randy Orton. “Don’t think we forgot about all those times that you used us—“ and then Teddy is met with an RKO.
Randy leaves, but Cody remains. He screams at Teddy Long, demanding that he do something about that. Long then goes on about all the ridiculous punishments he could do, then announces that Cody will defend his title next against the man he lost it to…Big Zeke.
Commercial.
We come back, Zeke enters, and we’re off!
Zeke backs Cody into a corner and strikes, before tossing him around the ring and finally slamming him hard. After the initial shock, Cody sneaks in some offense, but is again slammed. Bulldog from Cody, he starts stomping on Jackson after cornering him. Both balance out in the middle of the ring, Zeke tries to throw Cody away but Cody lands on his feet. More punches thrown, again tries to toss Cody but he rolls out of the ring, bringing the fight outside. Cody is thrown into the steel steps, and both are back in. Zeke tries for the Torture Rack but Cody wiggles out, allowing him to hit his finisher and retain.
A quick look at the contestants in tonight’s Battle Royale. Regal!
Commercial.
Teddy Long and Zack Ryder backstage, and I think I like calling it “Zackdown!†It seems that he’ll be in the Battle Royale tonight. Oh, and there’s Aksana. “Would you like to watch me with 20 men?†Inappropriate, think of the children!
Are we still talking about Cape Town? Does that mean J-Gabe’s wrestling next?
Yes. Yes, it does.
Commercial.
J-Gabe in the ring, Tyson Kidd enters, and here we go!
Both are moving very quickly, using all the counters and reversals in their arsenal before Kidd finally hits with a big dropkick. Submission hold on J-Gabe, who wiggles free and lands a solid kick to the back of Kidd’s dome. After some more offense is traded, Kidd goes for another submission that J-Gabe reverses into a killer rollup, but only for a two count. J-Gabe scales to the top rope but Kidd leaps, tries for a quick superplex but it shoved off, 450 connects and it’s over!
Matt Striker backstage, chatting with the bickering Jinder and Khali. Meh.
Oh, and a treat is in store for us! Alberto del Rio will be on tonight’s Smackdown! (I know this sounds sarcastic, but it’s really, really not.)
Commercial.
Alberto del Rio enters in his elaborate fashion, and he’s discussing…what else? His destiny. He discusses his debut against Rey Mysterio, and his first title defense against Rey Mysterio. “You suck!†chants echo as he continues, showing the video from Monday Night Raw. He is quickly interrupted by Daniel Bryan who has his serious face on. Bryan taunts del Rio for cashing in his briefcase on a Superstar after a brutal match. He walks towards the ring and…
Commercial.
Here we go! Both are frowning as they collide. Del Rio escapes a brutal Bryan kick by rolling out, but Bryan chases him back in, only to be met with a boot. Bryan chews on the mat as del Rio puts a submission hold on, but he builds up. He climbs to the top rope, but Alberto is there in a hurry, pushing off with Bryan’s arm in his grasp, putting the knees up and landing hard. He continues the abuse on Bryan’s arm, but again he builds back up. Landing some punches, he tries to sunset flip but Alberto doesn’t fall, and it’s back to the left arm. Though, it’s difficult to notice any of this, as Cole is screeching into the mic about Daniel Bryan. No matter, del Rio still has a firm hold on Bryan’s arm. Daniel Bryan breaks away, and tries to get fired up once more. Del Rio charges, but Bryan sends him flying outside the ring. As del Rio stands up, Bryan shoves his knee directly into his face. Back to the top rope, but del Rio dodges. Playtime is over, and del Rio is pissed. He props Bryan up on the top rope, but Bryan stand ups and forces his body weight to land on del Rio as they both tumble to the mat hard.
Commercial.
They’re still going at it when we return, trading punches, but then Bryan works in a few jabs before a huge dropkick. He climbs once again to the top rope, Ricardo Rodriguez moves to the side of the ring, but Bryan hits a tall missile dropkick, which del Rio kicks out of! After a fancy little maneuver, Bryan locks in a submission hold that has Alberto panicking, but he drives Bryan’s body into the corner, allowing him to hit the Cross Arm Breaker, where Bryan taps out immediately.
Well, THAT match went on longer than I expected! But I am definitely not complaining.
Del Rio isn’t finished, as he locks in his submission hold once more, but it’s Sin Cara to the rescue! He quickly takes care of del Rio before checking on Bryan. Aw, it’s guy love.
And, the antithesis of what we just saw, we cut to Mark Henry talking about his SummerSlam match. I tuned out for most of this, but I caught the last few words and I think he’s talking about the Battle Royale? Maybe?
Commercial.
Gross. Joan Cena is entering with AJ. The two people I loathe the most in the WWE. Thankfully, Nattie is out next, but she is with Alicia Fox. It’s like a shitstorm, and Natalya.
AJ and Nattie first, AJ trying to get the upper hand but failing as she’s manhandled by Nattie. Impressive spot from AJ, but Nattie strikes her down and drags AJ by her hair to tag in Alicia, who continues the assault. Big bitch slap from Nattie after she tags back in, then Alicia is in again. AJ gets a few big punches, and Joan tags in…and I’m not entirely sure what Joan is doing. Alicia goes for scissor kick, Joan moves and hits her finisher to thankfully end this match.
All of you haters that chewed me out for talking shit on Joan Cena and AJ…please watch this match. Really, really watch this match. It’s not okay for Snooki to perform better than your Divas champion.
Alicia gets in Nattie’s face…which Nattie doesn’t like! She strikes, and puts on the Sharpshooter outside the ring. Atta girl.
Commercial.
Randy enters after the longest B.A. Star commercial ever.
Commercial!
Lots of men already in the ring when we come back, and Sin Cara is out next. Wade Barrett comes out after him, Mark Henry, and Sheamus.
And, all hell breaks loose as the bell rings, all attacking Mark Henry first. It’s a jumbled mess, so bear with me. Cody Rhodes is eliminated by Big Zeke, and Mark Henry finally eliminates Khali. Sheamus eliminates Heath Slater after Henry rolls out under the bottom rope. Henry then attacks Slater outside the ring. After the commercial break, we find out the Regal was eliminated. Gabriel is next out, and Henry gives him the same treatment as Slater. As well as the Usos. Finally he gets back in, tossing Jinder out, then DiBiase. Final four, Barrett, Sheamus, Cara, and Henry. Sheamus is laid out by Barrett, both men precariously perched on the apron, Barrett eliminated finally. Sheamus is gloating, as Cara charges, but he dodges, so Cara flies through the middle, and then it’s a series of interesting ways to NOT get eliminated. Henry abruptly gets rid of Sheamus, with Cara sailing through the air for a crossbody that makes Henry fall flat. World’s Strongest Slam from Henry, and is tossed out.
Order of Elimination:
Trent Barreta
Yoshi Tatsu
Johnny Curtis
Zack Ryder
Cody Rhodes
Ezekiel Jackson
The Great Khali
Heath Slater
William Regal
Justin Gabriel
Jey Uso
Jimmy Uso
Jinder Mahal
Ted DiBiase
Tyson Kidd
Wade Barrett
Sheamus
Sin Cara
So, now we get to see Mark Henry all the time. Cool. (Now that was sarcasm.)
Credits roll.
