Join me at 8 central and we’ll get this thing started. As always, I will update the report during the commercial breaks giving you the latest on all the action!
WWE Monday Night Report 08.22.11
Ricardo Rodriguez is in the ring and that only means one thing… out comes the Mexican Aristocrat in yet another expensive car. It looks like the door confused him actually. They recap last week when Del Rio defeated Rey Mysterio last week. ADR takes the mic and he looks surprised the fans are booing him. His name…
John Cena’s music hits. JR says ‘Business just picked up.’ John runs down to the ring and grabs a mic. ADR looks angry to be interrupted. They stare off. Cena says everyone knows who ADR is and that it was your destiny to get that belt. John extends his hand and says ‘How are you? I’m John Cena and I’m going to take that title off your waist.’ Cena says he’s going to send ADR home and that all of ADR’s car are rentals. He claims ADR doesn’t know the name of that car. Cena says that he is just average and that there is only one person who can go toe-to-toe with him. John says that means at Night of Champions, he’s going to whip his ass. Punk’s music hits.
Punk climbs in over the turnbuckle and grabs a mic. There are dueling Cena/CM Punk chants. Punk says hold up Johnboy. Punk says this is re-run. John Cena wants another title match, who would’ve guessed? Punk says he has beat Cena twice in high stakes matches. Punk says that he deserves the title shot. ADR says that this is his time because he is the WWE Champion. Punk asks if he’s done? Punk says don’t ever interupt me when I’m speaking. Punk says he doesn’t care that ADR cashed in, because he earned it. He’s angry because Nash, and HHH are trying to screw him. He has a problem with that. Punk says that Cena should pay attention to the past. Punk says he insulted HHH’s wife straight to her face and then Nash attacked him. He says that someone had it out for him. ADR says it’s destiny. Punk says that destiny is actually Punk cashing in his rematch. Cena says he speaks Spanish, but he meant Cena cashing in his rematch tonight. Punk says Cena’s rematch clause is about as real as Santa Claus. Cena says that tonight fairy-tales become real. ADR says he’s ignoring both of them. ADR says that he’s not defending his title tonight in Canada. He tells Punk to quite whining about SummerSlam. HHH’s music hits.
Triple H walks on down to the ring. He tells ADR to take the smug look off his face because he’s not out there to protect him. Triple H says that he has a match next. HHH says rematch clauses are not like MITB briefcases, you can’t cash them in at anytime. HHH says that the winner of a match between Cena and Punk tonight will get the shot at ADR at Night of Champions. I predict another Nash intervention.
Commercials.
We’re back and Alberto del Rio is in the ring and John Morrison is on his way out.
Alberto del Rio vs John Morrison
They show a recap of last week’s encounter between JoMo and Truth. The bell rings and ADR teases tying up a few times before Morrison attacks. Morrison takes down ADR for a two count. ADR slips out and brings Morrison’s head down on the rope. Morrison charges ADR when he re-enters. ADR takes down Morrison with some fists. ADR stomps on Morrison’s head and chokes him in the rope. ADR locks Morrison down in an armlock. Morrison fights out and takes down ADR a few times before locking in a side headlock. ADR gets up and kicks Morrison’s leg hard to take him down. Morrison hits the ropes and they both tumble out of the ring. Morrison attempts a springboard moonsault, but lands on his feet as Del Rio moved. ADR pushes him into the the barricade into a…
Commercial.
ADR is in control as we come back. He has a modified Camel Clutch on Morrison and John is fighting out. ADR hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. ADR is taunting Morrison before hitting the World’s Most Hispanic Slam. ADR locks on another chinlock. Morrison fights out but to no avail. ADR charges Morrison in the corner, but Morrison lifts ADR straight over the top rope. Ricardo is checking on him. ADR runs back in and gets taken down by some clotheslines. Morrison with a reverse leg sweep for a two count. Morrison gets nailed by a belly-to-back suplex for a two count. ADR teases the Arm Bar before Morrison rolls him up for a long two count. Morrison hits an inverted DDT for another two count. ADR goes for a powerbomb, but Morrison hits a hurricanrana for a close two count. They stagger up and exchange punches and kicks. ADR hits a nasty headbutt. Morrison hits the Flying Chuck and sets up the Starship Pain, but lands on his feet. ADR throws Morrison into the ring post and locks in the Cross Arm Breaker and Morrison taps out.
Winner:Â Alberto del Rio
ADR locks on the Cross Arm Breaker on again on the outside of the ring.
They show Kelly Kelly and Eve talking backstage.
Commercials.
The Bellas are in the ring and Nikki Bella is fighting against Eve tonight. The Bellas are dressed different so no switcharoo. They show a pop-in box with The Divas of Doom saying they are keeping their motives unknown.
Eve vs Nikki Bella
Nikki kicks Eve and knocks her down. Eve reverses an Irish Whip into the corner, she charges, but Nikki flips her over the top rope onto the apron. Nikki knocks her down and Brie works on her while the ref is distracted. Eve is rolled back and Nikki locks a chinlock in. Eve back body drops Nikki before hitting a clothesline. Eve does a dance before hitting a standing moonsault for a two count. Eve gets on the top rope and Nikki knocks her down. Eve hits a neckbreaker for three count.
Winner:Â Eve
Kelly Kelly hits Brie Bella with the K2 for no reason. The Divas of Doom walk out and applaud.
Kevin Nash is walking around backstage.
Commercials.
We’re back and they show Swagger beating Riley last week.
Vickie Guerrero comes out and declares Swagger as her next possible client. Alex Riley is already in the ring.
Alex Riley vs Jack Swagger
They tie up and Swagger takes down Riley with some amateur wrestling moves. Swagger hits a body slam on Riley. Riley hits a big spinebuster. Dolph walks down to ringside in a suit. Swagger is working on Riley and sets up for the gutwrench and can’t do it. Swagger hits a clothesline. He sees Dolph accidentally bump into Vickie and knock her down. He walks out of the ring to talk to Dolph. He gets back in the ring and is rolled up for a three count.
Winner:Â Alex Riley
Triple H is show in the back talking on the phone.
Commercials.
Triple H’s music hits and he’s back. Triple H says there was a lot of controversy at SummerSlam with the foot on the rope, Nash attacking, and Del Rio cashing in. HHH asks Kevin to come out and he’s getting big cheers. No entrance theme again. A Diesel chant. Triple H says that there was a lot of controversy and that the text did not come from him. Triple H says that that shouldn’t have happened. Kevin Nash says he’s known him for 20 years. He says he believes Triple H. He decided not to apologize to Punk after Punk’s words last week. Triple H says he doesn’t work here so he can’t call out Punk. Nash says the security was for Punk’s protection. Triple H tells him to call him out somewhere else. Triple H asks Nash to leave. Punk’s music hits.
Punk says please don’t leave! He wants to know who sent the text? Was it Nash? Triple H with his sledgehammer? Or was it Stephanie McMahon with the candlestick in the Library? Punk says he doesn’t believe them. Punk says he steps over lines. He says that Nash is a line stepper too. A huge CM Punk chant. Punk says he’s done talking and that he’s kicking his ass this week. Triple H gets in between and pushes Punk back. Punk tells him to get his hands off of him. He wants to know why HHH is scared of him being champ? Who runs the show? HHH, Nash, or his bean-headed wife? Triple H promised to not get involved, but what makes HHH not the man he’s always been? Punk says he wouldn’t want Triple H to take off his jacket and put it in his wife’s purse along with his balls. Nash cheapshots Punk and both Nash and Triple H leave. Punk is sitting Indian style as we fade to…
Commercials.
Kevin is walking backstage with HHH and Kevin Nash tells him that he’s changed.
WWE Tag Team Championship:Â Michael McGillicutty & David Otunga (c) vs Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
Lawler is totally drilling the tag champs for not showing up, awesome. The bell rings and Mike and Evan start off. Mike kicks Evan and is throwing some fists before Evan reverses and tags in Kofi. They hits a double team move before getting a two count. Mike takes back over and is working Kofi in the corner before Kofi hits a huge springboard crossbody for a two count. Kofi sets up for the TIP, but Otunga pulls Mike out. Kofi pursues Otunga but Mike attacks Kofi. Mike rolls him in the ring for a two count. Mike smashes Kofi’s head on Otunga’s boot before they hit a combination move. Otunga is in and he uppercuts Kofi, he slams Kofi down for a two count. Otunga locks in a chinlock. Been a lot of those tonight. Kofi fights out, but Otunga brings him back down. Mike is tagged in and he hits a drop kick as Otunga holds him. Mike locks in a headlock. Kofi fights out, but Mike slams Kofi down. Kofi hits a hurricanrana and tags in Evan. Evan hits some big offense on the recently tagged in Otunga. Chaos ensues and Kofi hits the TIP on Otunga. Evan hits the AirBourne for the three count.
Winners (and NEW Tag Team Champions):Â Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne
Commercials.
We’re back to a recap of Kofi and Evan winning the titles.
They interview the tag champs and Kofi says that the last few weeks have been awesome. Ryder/Titus/ and some other people storm over to drown them in champagne.
Triple H is confronted by Johnny Ace who tells Trips that Nash is in a hospital after having a wreck. Triple H is leaving.
Commercials.
Santino’s music is playing as we come back. I haven’t seen him in awhile. Miz and Truth are attacking Santino on his way out. They roll him in the ring. Truth hits the Lie Detector and then he hands Santino to Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale. Truth tells the audience to shut up. Truth asks if they saw what happened to Little Jimmy? He tells them not to start the whats. Truth says he’s been saying that there’s been a conspiracy and tells the audience that they’re going to make him lose his mind. He lists Stephanie, John Cena, Punk, Nash, HHH and everyone are working together at the Conspiracy Table. Truth says since HHH has been in charge, it hasn’t been about the Truth or The Miz. Miz says that Truth is right. He says that there is a conspiracy and that the audience sounds like a bunch of ducks with their What what what. Miz says that he was the main event of WrestleMania and that he beat John Cena. Truth says True Dat! Miz says and then Triple H takes over and then what happens? He has to pick a fight with Jared from Subway. Truth says they’re going to be good and that the Canadians have no home training. Miz says he’s going to speak very slowly. Is… everyone… ready? Truth says they sound like a bunch of animals. Miz says that he is tired of seeing guys like Santino getting matches instead of them. Truth says they’re taking all opportunities. Truth says any spiders, they gunna squash it. Truth says they are going to push the conspirators around. Truth says that’s the whole Truth and nothing but the Truth (Miz) and its Awesome! They tell the audience that they’re stupid and then Truth raps about how the audience sucks and Miz is saying You Suck.
John Cena vs CM Punk is next.
Commercials.
They show a recap of ADR attacking Rey last week again.
ADR is sitting at ringside and so is Johnny Ace.
Number One Contender’s Match:Â CM Punk vs John Cena
The audience just threw Cena’s shirt back… twice! The bell rings and here we go! They tie up and Punk takes down Punk, but Cena locks Punk’s head between his legs. They continue to do some tie-ups and reversals leading to a stand still. Punk locks in a side headlock, Cena fights out, but Punk shoulders Cena down. Cena hits the 5 Moves of Doom. Punk rolls up Cena during the 5 Knuckles Shuffle for a two count. Punk hits a big knee in the corner into the bulldog. Punk glares at ADR. Punk climbs up, but Cena knocks Punk off the top rope falling into a…
Commercial.
We’re back and Punk back body drops Cena. Cena gets up and tries for the AA, but Punk gets out. Cena tries again in the corner, but Punk hits a big springboard clothesline for a two count. Punk attempts the GTS, but Cena tries for the STF. Both up and Cena locks in a crossface. Punk gets his foot on the rope. Cena rushes into the corner, but hits the post. Punk hits the GTS, but Cena kicks out! Punk climbs slowly to the top rope and dedicates it to the Macho Man. He misses with the elbow. Cena climbs up top for the leg drop and connects, but Punk kicks out. Cena sets up for the AA, but Punk elbows out and he hits about 20! Punk runs off the rope and hits a nasty knee to the face for a two count. Cena pops up and hits the AA, but Punk kicks out! Cena rams Punk into the corner and sets him up on the top rope. Punk headbutts Cena off the top rope. Punk hits a big crossbody, but Cena rolls through and is rolled up by Punk. Punk hits a big roundhouse kick to the dome of Cena. Punk picks up Cena and Nash walks out? He says this isn’t over Punk! Nash walks down to ringside. Punk turns around and gets hit by the AA for the three count.
Winner:Â John Cena.
ADR is in the ring before the bell and it taking it to Cena. ADR hits the Enzuigiri before Johnny Ace stops ADR. ADR runs past them and jumps Cena again. Johnny Ace and the referee are pulling ADR away. ADR runs and hits Cena with the title. They roll outside and ADR whips Cena into the barricade. Alberto del Rio stands tall looking ferocious.
And quite frankly my dear… that’s a wrap.
