The SmarK Rant for AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN Classic – 08.29.11

The SmarK Rant for AWA Championship Wrestling on ESPN Classic – 08.29.11

– Hey, an actual date this time!  December 21, 1986.

– Your hosts are Rod Trongard and Lord James Blears.

The Super Ninja v. Tom Rocky Stone

Not just a REGULAR ninja.  Sadly, it’s not the far more awesome Keiji Muto version, but just usual masked Asian wrestler.  Ninja uses MARTIAL ARTS, which turns out to be clubbing forearms, but Stone slugs back until Ninja boots him down.  Ninja goes to the nerve hold and Rod Trongard thinks the end is near.  Luckily, Stone fights out of the neck massage, but Ninja finishes him with a northern lights suplex at 3:23.  Afterwards, Larry Zbyszko cuts a promo on behalf of Mr. Ninja about how Nick Bockwinkel is ducking him as usual.

Greg Gagne v. Kent Glover

This is JIP for god knows what reason.   Gagne takes him down with a hammerlock and Glover does a lot of complaining.  The jobber takes over with forearms and a back elbow for two.  Glover pounds away, but Gagne makes the comeback with a backdrop and a terrible hiptoss.  Glover barely even bumped off that.  Two dropkicks finish at 3:28.  Greg cuts his promo afterwards, and he also would like to wrestle Bockwinkel.

In your randomly inserted match of the week, it’s the midget match from WrestleRock 86, which was 8 months before this show aired.

AWA Women’s title:  Sherri Martell v. The Killer Tomato

Seriously?  The Killer Tomato?  The, uh, Tomato works on Sherri’s arm with an armbar and goes to a headlock.  He starts for an airplane spin, but drops her, and then gets it on the second try.  Sherri fights back with a cheapshot and gets two, however.  Dropkick gets two.  She chokes the Tomato out on the ropes and drops the leg, but the Tomato takes her down and drops a pair of legs.  Clothesline, but Sherri comes back with her own and then boots her down in the corner.  Flying splash finishes at 6:00.  That was surprisingly competitive and relatively stiff for a nothing women’s match.  **1/2

Brad Rheingans v. Don Fargo

Um, this Fargo dude has SWASTIKAS tattooed on his chest.  What the hell?!  How did this guy get put on TV? Is he working for free out of the local prison work release program?  Fargo takes him down with an armbar, but Rheingans takes him down with a headlock.  Fargo pounds him down and goes to a sleeper as this squash is already way too long.  I never got the AWA’s fascination with Brad Rheingans, as he was an incredibly dull worker and had zero charisma that I ever saw.  The sleeper goes on forever as the stream-of-consciousness ramblings of James Blears reveal that this guy might be the actual Don Fargo from Memphis, as in the Fargo Brothers and a million stories about how legitimately insane he was.  Well the tattoos make sense now at least.  Finally Brad fights back and gets his own sleeper, then puts Fargo down with a shoulderblock for the pin at 7:30.  The idiot announcers spend the whole match trying to get “Bullet” over as a nickname for Rheingans, but much like fetch, it’s not gonna happen.  *

Col. DeBeers v. Mike Richards

Hey, I get a do-over!  So yes, DeBeers is the racist South African overlord character, wrestling a guy named Michael Richards.  Obviously they should be teaming instead of fighting, preferably against Harlem Heat.  The promos alone would be awesome.  DeBeers finishes quickly with the pancake at 2:00, and then cuts a promo about Jimmy Snuka and how he hates darkies.  And on that note, we’re done for the week.

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