Happy Sunday, everyone. I know this is coming at ya a bit late, but hey. Why not get a second dose of wrestling on an otherwise slow day. Oh wait, there’s a TNA PPV tonight, right? Well, that doesn’t count.
We open with the same series of Mark Henry clips that we always see, and then play the lamest Smackdown opening to ever grace the Blue Brand.
Speak of the devil, Mark Henry enters to begin the show. He begins talking about the Hall of Pain, and assesses the issue that his best years may be behind him. But, he talks about all the recent victories and men he’s destroyed, before promising to induct Randy Orton next.
But he’s interrupted…by Zack Ryder? He asks Henry if they can be “broskis†before informing Henry that not only will he and Randy be in separate matches that night, but they’re not allowed to go near each other. As he walks away, Henry beckons for him. Ryder timidly comes back, only to suffer a verbal beatdown and a threat, but Ryder strikes first. Henry gets the last word, however, once he Slams Ryder.
Oh yeah, he’s supposed to be in a match. Big Zeke and all of his Chocolate Thundery goodness approach the ring, before…
Commercial.
Bell rings, and we’re off. Both men lock up, trying to see who’s toughest, but Henry proves that he is by tossing Zeke around. Zeke lands a few punches after some much needed separation, and attempts the Torture Rack which fails. Both men battle outside the ring for a moment, before Henry finds his momentum again with two big slams, followed by World’s Strongest Slam, and it’s over.
A quick ad for Randy’s opponent, Cody Rhodes, and then we find Teddy Long backstage. Of course, Aksana approaches acting all kinds of easy. Again, think of the children.
Sin Cara enters when we cut back, followed by a recap of his heel-tastic attack on Daniel Bryan. I love it!
Commercial.
Tyson Kidd is in the ring when we return, and we’re quickly under way. Some extreme back and forth, and Kidd is outside of the ring, allowing Cara to fly through the air for an extra pinch of offense. But Kidd is waiting for him when they get back in the ring, effortlessly countering Cara. While the two are going at it in a stunning fashion, Cole is offering a Spanish lesson to Josh…goodness I’m sick of him. Anyway. Cara is fighting off everything Kidd is serving up, finally hitting the series of maneuvers that finishes Kidd off.
Afterwards, Matthews enters the ring as he said he would to interview Cara. He asks about his aggressive nature as of late, and all I hear out of the muffled mess of Spanish and English words, he says, “Nobody is going to stop me!â€
But it’s not over. Daniel Bryan enters, briefcase in tow. He seems a smidge angry about last week’s assault, and calls him out for a rematch next week. “And you can be as aggressive as you want,†he finishes before Cara attacks again, this time laying down the LaBell Lock, mocking Bryan.
What?! Sheamus against Wade Barrett? I’m excited for this.
Commercial.
Come back to a cool video about Cody Rhodes, before cutting to Randy Orton being interviewed about his former Padawan. Orton goes on to claim that Rhodes is unstable, before shifting over to talk about Mark Henry and how dangerous he is. Stay on target, Randall.
Ugh. Joan Cena enters. I keep hearing rumors that she has improved further, so I’m ready to be proven wrong.
Commercial.
We see Nattie and Beth’s attack from Monday, and then Nattie herself enters with Beth Phoenix, who looks very, very, VERY sexy tonight!
Here we go, Joan pounces on Nattie, backing her into a corner and locking in her new favorite go-to move. But Joan is knocked out of the ring, where Nattie follows to lay the hurt, and take a bow. Back in, Nattie takes a moment to scream in her face before putting Joan in the ab stretch, and manhandles her further. Big sunset flip from Joan (that did not look good), Nattie stops it and tries for the Sharpshooter, but Joan rolls her up for the victory.
Let me just say, aside from the sunset flip that looked like ass, she didn’t look terrible. Not good, mind you. But I can see this improvement that Mr. Mike Gojira is talking about. Doesn’t mean I think she is champion material. But hey, I know when to give credit where it’s due. But she does still need to learn to bitchslap. Isn’t that an innate female trait? Jeez.
Commercial.
Chimel announces the next match, but Christian enters instead, ready to chat. He seems quite cross about last week’s shenanigans. He claims that he deserves one more match, but is cut off by Sheamus’s entrance. Sheamus then compares Christian to the runt of a litter of puppies…okay! Sheamus demands that Christian leave, which he does, begrudgingly. As he makes his way up the ramp, Barrett enters with his Tuxedo Mask jacket. Alright, let’s go!
Both men stare each other down, before the brawl begins, both seemingly angry and ready to tear each other apart. Sheamus takes Barrett down, but Barrett lands some serious punches and backs Sheamus into a corner. But Sheamus takes the control back, forcing Barrett to leave the ring and collect himself. Finally back in by the count of seven by the ref, he resumes his beating. Backed into a corner, Barrett is introduced to Sheamus’s knee, over and over again before finally landing Sheamus on his back, stunning him.
Commercial.
Wicked side slam when we return from Barrett, for a two-count. Sheamus is tangled up in the ropes as Barrett attacks landing a kick to Sheamus’s forehead. Both men are outside the ring, and Barrett drives Sheamus’s back into the side of the ring, as both roll in, Barrett trying to capitalize. Locked up, both men build up, trading punches and Sheamus finally creates distance. Big slam by Sheamus, Sheamus to the top rope and projects himself towards Barrett. Before he can do anything with the impact, Christian attacks, disqualifying the match.
Barrett and Christian team up on Sheamus, who eventually gets rid of Christian and delivers a Brogue Kick to Barrett. Christian caught from the top rope, Sheamus tries for the High Cross which Christian wiggles out of and bolts.
I knew I wouldn’t be disappointed!
Commercial.
AirBoom time! I’m glad they just play their songs separately, and didn’t try to mash it up like the ShowMiz disaster (JeriShow’s music is the only exception!)
Jinder Mahal enters next with Great Khali.
Bourne and Jinder begin, and Bourne already has some serious air, before eating a clothesline midair (I won’t say air again, I promise). Khali is in now with the teeny tiny Bourne, grounding him instantly. Evan makes an ultra silly face as Khali’s big hand assaults his chest. Jinder tags in, but takes a killer kick from Bourne before Kofi gets the hot tag. Like a blur, he’s flying around the ring, Boom Drop, signals for TiP, but Jinder backs away. Never fear, Kofi has another spot up his sleeve. He pins, Khali and Bourne charge but Bourne is sent flying out of the ring. Jinder attempts to finish him off, but Khali enters the ring, Jinder looking enraged, and Khali shoves him right into the Trouble in Paradise, for the victory.
Quick plug for Night of Champions, which seems pretty promising.
Cody Rhodes enters, looking like a very handsome Death Eater still…
Commercial.
By my watch, we have 27 minutes left of Smackdown at this point…but I thought this was the main event? I predict shenanigans!
Cody is chatting away, going off on former protégé, Tedward DiBiase. Then on Randy. Okay, let’s get this going.
Randy enters all slow-like, and glistening.
Commercial.
Here we go! The two circle each other, and Randy laughs at Cody’s quick attempts to roll him up. Big drop kick from Orton, returned by one from Cody that misses, and Orton hits another. Big stomps from Orton, then a clothesline. Rhodes finally gets a breather, after using his mask to stun Orton. Backed into a corner, Orton takes some more abuse from Cody. But Orton doesn’t stay down for long, with a European uppercut, Cody is on his back, and Randy goes for his big knee, but Cody rolls away, regaining control. Randy sets Cody up on the ropes, preparing for his DDT but Cody fights out, before landing the Beautiful Disaster, launching Randy hard to the floor.
Commercial.
When we return, Cody is manhandling Randy with ease. Some solid knees to Randy’s chest, wearing down the Heavyweight champ, working on the left arm. Right when Cody seems to have done the job, Randy builds up…only to be knocked down again, and Cody continues on the arm. Fans are getting fired up, as is Randy who counters an attack. But nope, Cody is on top again, slamming Randy hard. Rhodes goes for a bulldog but is shoved away, creating some distance, and the two begin going back and forth. Randy goes again for the DDT on the ropes, which does connect. Randy punches the mat, goes for an RKO but Cody rolls out. Cody goes for the CrossRhode when both are back in the ring, but Randy wiggles out, RKO, done!
Henry doesn’t let Orton celebrate for long, as he stomps down the ramp towards Randy. He crawls into the ring, the two stare each other down, begin circling, and Randy strikes first. After a few punches, Randy tries for an RKO, but Henry stops it, instead hitting the WSS. Twice. Henry leaves the ring to grab a chair, using it to choke Orton.
Credits roll.
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