The Rager – Dr. Chris Watches Vengeance

Welcome, one and all, to another edition of The Rager. I am your raging gondolier, Chris, and I’m here to satisfy all your raging needs following a vengeful pay per view (see what I did there?). So with an indeterminate number of thoughts, in no particular order whilst refusing to adhere to any notion of rules or structure, here is a collection of mind-ponderings I had during Vengeance.

– Ziggles’ trunks looks like America puked up Uncle Sam’s mother’s apple pie and was it a “onesie” and he just refused to wear the straps?
– Gotta hand it to Booker, “Zig Zag and Swag” sounds a lot better than “Air Boom.” I stick by my stance in that name being one of the biggest pieces of evidence that unoriginal slagathors rule supreme on Twitter (in a totally unrelated note, feel free to follow me)
– Ryder lost to Ziggles and the internet is allowed to live…for now?
– I got a phone call just as Beth’s music hit, apparently there is a God because it took the whole match…but the equalizer is that I missed the Punk/HHH Promo because from what I heard from Joel Leonard, I missed some quality entertainment on that one.
– I’m sorry but is Satan narrating the HHH/CM Punk/R-Truth/Miz video package or is their usual guy in Witness Protection?
– Punk’s “bulldog on a clothesline” move makes me so happy. And yes, I named it myself…you’re welcome, world. My name is Chris Sanders and I approve this message.
– Oh hey, its the 90s again…Welcome, Kevin Nash
– I gotta admit, Kevin Nash looks like he’s moving around a little bit better than he did after Summerslam…also the goatee/beard looks a lot less ridiculous. Kevin Nash finally gets an official Rager approval from yours truly.
– Hey the guy that was just telling us that we suck is now telling us to not to bully people and in no way confirms Punk’s claims of hypocrisy in WEE’s stance on the matter.
– The fact that the Intercont’l title isn’t on the line basically suggests that Orton will win. Way to refuse to get younger guys over and thus Orton will continue that tradition as exemplified by HHH and John Cena over the years.
– Big Show vs. Mark Henry: “Those are some big people.” No truer statment has ever been said and it was by Pulse Wrestling’s own, Joel N/A Leonard.
– Booker just said Mark Henry just kicked out of…WOW! Thats because Henry isn’t really into the whole RPG thing, he’s more of a LARPer. Hi, I’m Chris W. Sanders and I am a nerd and I’m proud of it. Suck on that, everyone that made fun of me for being in marching band in high school and being in the tech academy.
– They’re going to need a lot more stretchers than that…and they brought the cart out, that might be better.
– Why no, Teddy Long, I don’t think they’ll both fit on that cart.
– Sign of the Night: “Nothing Rhymes with Laurinitis”
– Oh snap, JC is officially done with Stars N’Bars AND not wearing jorts…interesting
– John Cena under a ring post and Del Rio jumping ontop of it, you know what? I can dig
– I love Lawlers jokes that he’s the only one that understands what the punchline actually is…and by love, I mean dispise with a frothy passion.
– Ricardo Rodriguez in a “difficult” situation atop the ringpost and Del Rio getting dropped on the other end causing RR to experience that seesaw effect. That querky ball humor sequence of events really made me believe that ring collapse was staged and planned. I was suspicious of a ruse when it actually happened but I held off on an actual judgment until that point…zany stuff.
– So when Cena was on the table and Del Rio began to climb, everyone watching were instantly incredibly interested but once Cena got up and threw Del Rio, we all let out a hardy “Boo.”
– RIP Spanish Announce table, you survived Hell in a Cell but Vengeance proved to be a much more raging and ungovernable opponent.
– And with the Miz and R-truth getting involved, we now probably have an idea who Cena and Rock will team up against in Survivor Series…maybe
– No belts changed hands and a lack-luster ending and the only title-holder that lost happened while the title was not on the line.

Lasting Thoughts
It would’ve been easy to write off this pay per view, seeing as how it was the second straight one that only had two weeks time for build-up. However, I was delightfully engaged in the course of events through most of the night. The midcard matches didn’t seem to do much damage and certainly Ryder’s involvement garnered a large amount of interest. What I did find most disappointing was the HHH/CM Punk vs. Awesome Truth. I don’t know if it was because that story hasn’t had much of a chance to breathe or whatever the case may be but I felt like there needed to be some more anticipation involved. Don’t get me wrong, CM Punk carried his own and I do love Truth and Miz together, inside and out the ring. The process of elimination should reveal who I believe was the weak link in the equation. Planned or not, I’m fine with the collapsed ring and I know there will be plenty of complaints about WWE doing whats already been done before but what it did was make a slow-paced match that we’ve already seen before a bit more interesting. And if anything, it threw in an interesting twist in the match that followed which leads me into the WWE Championship match. I thought that match was a tiny bit slow at the beginning but I found myself getting more and more interested in the overall match as well as being impressed by Alberto Del Rio. Anyone that’s read The Rager over the past year would know that Alberto Del Rio has mostly just received a shrugged shoulders response from me since he’s debut. However, I will say I was pleasantly impressed by his performance on a slanted ring. But with the good comes the bad, the bad in this case being the ending. The championship shot to the head was a cheap ending that didn’t make much sense to me. Think about ALL the shots Cena took throughout the match and you’re gonna tell me one shot to the head with a belt did the trick? And I didn’t mind the Miz and Truth interference, it made sense for them to do it especially after Hell in a Cell and, like I stated earlier, it sets up for the Survivor Series match with Cena and Rock.

and now time for superlatives:

Anti-movie of the Week
This superlative makes a return to The Rager due to me viewing Human Centipede for the first time earlier today (Sunday). I knew pretty much knew the ins and outs of the entire plot a long time ago so I didn’t think it would be so bad but it was so much worse! Not even from a gross standpoint but more along the lines of it just not being any good…in any aspect. But I pretty much knew what I was getting myself into so I blame myself for that punishment.

Song of the Week
This one takes the honors because it got me amped up as it came up on shuffle as I wrote this. This is by my favorite band on the planet and they’re by-and-far considered to be the best live band right now and they are none other than Muse. enjoy!

Well that does it for me, kiddies, because I am quite tired seeing as how I was in quite the wedding this weekend. I have to hand it to the bride and groom, they threw one fantastic and fun shindig and I wish them the best. If you have anything to add to my thoughts or if you wanna share your own thoughts, feel free to comment below or talk to me on twitter and maybe, just maybe, we will hold another Live Rager during Raw tonight!

Don’t anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: One of these days, the Spanish Announce Table will have its revenge!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,