It’s time once again for the most consistent columnist on Pulse Wrestling, yours truly, Mike Gojira! I’ll soon be pulling double duty here at the Pulse as I’ll be in charge of the Smackdown Report beginning this Friday. I can promise you the report will not be live as (contrary to popular opinion) I do try to have a social life on weekends.
Anywho, I’ll be attending Survivor Series this year at good ol’ Madison Square Garden and I have to say I’m a little disappointed at the way the card is currently being built. Originally, the plan was to have an all-star team of CM Punk, John Cena, The Rock, Triple H, and Sheamus against the team of Alberto del Rio, Awesome Truth, Christian, and Kevin Nash in a traditional elimination tag team match. We also would have gotten a rumored Championship Scramble for the World Heavyweight Championship.
As it stands, Cena and The Rock will still team up, but they’ll be facing Awesome Truth (a team Cena completely made a fool of this week on Raw). It should still be a great showing, but I would have liked to see them in the elimination tag match.
Speaking of the traditional Survivor Series signature bout, it looked as though we’d have Air Boom, Sheamus, and possibly Randy Orton face Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Cody Rhodes after the original plans were scrapped, but Evan Bourne is out due to a Wellness Policy violation. It looks like Cody will be preoccupied with Booker T, so where does that leave our old school Survivor Series match?
Based on what’s been going down this week on WWE television, Big Show will get his rematch for Mark Henry’s title. I am NOT looking forward to that.
Finally, we have our prerequisite Divas match in Eve vs Beth Phoenix…again.
All is not lost, however! On the plus side of things, Punk will finally get his one-on-one match against del Rio, which is the only match I’m looking forward to besides the Cena/Rock match. Here’s how I expect the card to shape up in the next few weeks (especially since I paid to see this damn show):
1. CM Punk vs Alberto del Rio: After del Rio’s clean loss to Big Show on Monday and his “bitch out” by Punk immediately after, he needs to regroup and booked to be dangerous again. To tell you the truth, I originally thought del Rio would be treated as a Mexican Kurt Angle on his way to the top: cocky and nearly unbeatable. That’s clearly not the case; he’s been accused of being a paper champion and I was hoping to refute those claims for the foreseeable future but I now have my doubts. Here’s to hoping that changes in the next three weeks!
2. Mark Henry vs Big Show: Their first match was actually quite decent, but there is NO WAY they can repeat that and hope for similar or better results. There has to be a gimmick or stipulation attached. Otherwise, this is my Piss Break.
3. Cody Rhodes vs Booker T: If this is indeed on the card, Cody needs the win. There’s no reason for him to put over the Bookerman without some real payoff. Cody needs a legitimate PPV victory over a Legend.
4. Eve vs Beth Phoenix: If you read my column last week, you’d know Vince doesn’t give a shit about the state of the Divas division. Ha ha, what am I saying? Of course you read my column last week! Who doesn’t? Anyway, this is apparently the best the company could do. How very sad.
5. John Cena and The Rock vs Awesome Truth: As I said before, the heels need to be built up as a force to be reckoned with. Having Cena beat Miz despite Truth’s interference and then besting Truth as he tries to sneak up on him is NOT the way to handle this. They need more credibility now.
6. The rest of the card: It looks like the only other match on the card will involve some variation of Sheamus, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, and Randy Orton against Team Guerrero, Christian, and Wade Barrett. I’m not sure how Orton fits into the picture yet, but perhaps they’ll use Barrett as his foe. Where does that leave Daniel Bryan? I guess the same place we’ll find John Morrison and Drew McIntyre: in a dark match or not on the card.
Long story short: the build to the show needs to improve, and focusing on The Rock’s return is NOT the way to go about it. That’s my take.
*How hot was AJ in that Kitana costume? Rrrrowr. (Love ya, Kel! :p)
*The longest match on Raw was an oddly clean del Rio/Big Show bout. It wasn’t bad, but I wouldn’t have made it the marquee match of the night. The clean win also baffled me. As Scott Keith mentioned in his Raw Report, putting number one contenders vs champions is a no-win situation. You either make your champ or your challenger look like a chump, or you do the old-fashioned DQ finish.
*I heard Drew McIntyre beat Morrison in a Superstars match. Guess we all know where John Boy falls on the pecking order. Hey, Michael (the commenter)! You keep saying Daniel Bryan and Christian are on their way out the door. What about Morrison?
*I suppose Triple H’s “injury” is a blessing in disguise. Looks like he’ll be back in time for TLC.
*Beaker + Sheamus = Comedy gold. That is all.
*I enjoyed the Muppets on Raw this Monday night. I know some people hated the show, but at this point if you’re going to hate on the Muppets, you have no soul.
CB’s Fave Five Wrestling Songs
5. Grab Them Cakes, Junkyard Dog — This absolute classic from “The Wrestling Album” taught me how to G-R-A-B T-H-E-M C-A-K-E-S, whatever that means. But man, what a hook!
4. Self High Five, Diamond Dallas Page — I just used to LOVE how WCW would rip off riffs from popular rock songs and no one cared. DDP’s Nirvana knockoff was especially endearing since he was in my fave five back then and it also contained a crucial element in a wrestler’s theme song that continues today: the catch phrase insert. (Sidenote: my fave catch phrase insert: Booker T’s Can you dig it, Suckaaaaaaaaaaa)
3. Pain and Destruction, Demolition — Just the perfect kickass theme song off the kickass Piledriver album. Best straight tag team theme song EVER. Sorry, DX.
2. nwo Black and White theme / Hollywood Hogan Hendrix theme — I put these two together, and they both are simply iconic. This represents WCW at its peek, and for the stable of the nwo and Hogan to get over, they HAD to have signature entrance music, both for the group and for their leader. The music may be misused now with Nash and Hogan definitely overdid the guitar riff motion in WWE and TNA, but when it was all new and fresh, it was just amazing the reaction that each entrance could invoke.
1. Pomp and Circumstance, Macho Man Randy Savage / Also sprach Zarathustra, Nature Boy Ric Flair / Graveyard Symphony, The Undertaker — These three are in a class by themselves, instrumental compositions that will always remind us of these three legendary figures in pro wrestling that have become synonymous with each song. People talk about the shine coming off pro wrestling today, and that’s definitely true. But one of wrestling’s biggest advantages is its rich history, filled with larger than life characters who were our heroes, regardless of their flaws. I liken it to our fathers and grandfathers looking back at their favorite major league baseball players of all-time by remembering the great moments and glossing over the forgettable times. As much as we rag on wrestling, we are all here, ready and willing to be drawn in if the mood is right, if the proper cord is struck.
And with these three songs, one strike of the cord was all it took for us to forget about everything else going on in our lives, and simply stand, and clap, and chant, and cheer (or boo).
After all, music moves us in so many ways, and pro wrestling is no exception.
That’s all from me — CB.
Thanks for that, CB. Keep your Fave Fives coming, guys and gals. That’s all from me this week, at least in terms of The Stomping Ground. I’ll see you this weekend for the Smackdown Report.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Tags: air boom, alberto del rio, awesome truth, Beth Phoenix, big show, Booker T, christian, cm punk, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Eve, jack swagger, john cena, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Mike Gojira, randy orton, sheamus, Smackdown, survivor series, The Muppets, The Rock, triple h, Wade Barrett, WWE, zack ryder