Where have all the columns gooooone? (duh doo doo, duh doo doo, duh doo doo)
Seriously: the site gets a make over and suddenly everyone scatters like roaches under the fridge when the lights come on? I mean we got Scott Keith every Monday night and the usual ROH and old school throwback goodness, as well as news updates, but the mainstream columns are severely lacking. Now, there is a long list of possible reasons why this may be (I doubt it’s because they have what some humans refer to as a “life”…they ARE Internet columnists, after all) but perhaps the most obvious might be staring right back at us every Monday night on television:
WWE is starting to look a little stale.
Back in October, there was a shitstorm of complaints about the direction the company was headed in. Yours truly took a few blanket statements and attempted to diffuse them. I think it’s time to revisit them.
1. CM Punk’s push is over. Well, I suppose in lieu of The Rock’s return to the ring this is true, but he’s only in The Rock’s shadow for the next week. Right now Punk is in the main event of the entire company as he’s feuding with Alberto del Rio for the WWE Championship.
2. Mark Henry does not deserve the World Heavyweight Championship. Say what you will about Henry but the only thing he doesn’t deserve is this lackluster program with Big Show. I enjoyed the ring collapse at Vengeance like everyone else (especially the absurdity of seeing as match following that in a wrecked ring), but I’m not feeling this return match. Especially since I paid money to see it.
3. Daniel Bryan is being wasted. Word on the street is that DB is still getting his Wrestlemania push, but I’ll reserve judgment until I start seeing results. As of now, this statement rings true.
4. Triple H’s ego is out of control. I’m not seeing that at all. Right now, he’s on the back burner awaiting a mini-feud with his running buddy, Kevin Nash. Oh, and by the way: beating up Santino gets you cheap heat. With a guy like Nash, it’s unnecessary. I’m assuming after his issues with Nash end, The Game will take Punk’s side to thwart Laurinaitis’s hostile takeover.
Those were the four major issues over a month ago. While things have changed, many of the storylines and characters are stuck in limbo. Sheamus has nowhere to go until this feud between Big Show and Henry is over so he’s been stuck facing Christian. With Christian’s recent injury, perhaps the company will be forced to change direction.
I find myself watching Raw grudgingly, waiting for it to end so I can say I saw the show. How pathetic is that? This past week on Raw was abysmal, with myself looking like an idiot as I wrongfully predicted The Rock’s emergence at the top of the second hour. I was partially right when he showed up to Rockbottom Mick Foley after that horrendous segment.
I’ve tried to hold back my dwindling interest for as long as I can, and I am still confident that things MUST change as we head towards the Road to Wrestlemania, but that confidence is waning.
I hope the WWE doesn’t force me to change my outlook.
Steven Gepp’s Fave Five Tag Team Double Team Finishing Moves
5. Hart Attack. The Hart Foundation used this one, and while it doesn’t look as devastating, the way
they performed it was spot on. Jim Neidhart would lift the victim in a low bear hug so Bret Hart
could come off the ropes and hit him with a nice flying clothesline.
4. Double submission. This is gonna get me a heap of hate mail, but when Cody Rhodes had
Shawn Michaels in the ringpost figure-4 and Ted DiBiase Jr slapped on the sleeper, that was one of
the coolest looking visuals and looked genuinely painful.
3. Demolition Decapitation. It was the cleanness that Demolition would hit this move with that
made it look so effective. Smash would hit a backbreaker on the victim and hold him there so Axe
could come off the top rope with an elbow to the chest.
2. Spike piledriver. Performed by many teams – maybe none better than the Four Horsemen –
with one guy pushing the legs down of the victim while the other guy performs a piledriver.
1. Doomsday Device. The Road Warriors/Legion of Doom finishing move – the victim is on the
shoulders of Animal and then Hawk hits a top rope clothesline. If sold well, the victim does a
moonsault before landing. Favourite.
Cheers,
Steven Gepp
Thanks again, Steve. As for the rest of you lazy wankers, send me some Fave Fives, pronto!
I’ll be back during the weekend for some double duty with my Not-So-Live Smackdown Report as well as my usual place in the Roundtable. After that, you’ll get a special Monday edition of The Stomping Ground as I share my thoughts about Survivor Series.
What a coincidence! I went to Wrestlemania XXV and now I’m gonna see the 25th edition of Survivor Series live as well. Strange how all that works out, eh?
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
