Suspension of Disbelief: A Rappity Rap Column On The Conundrum of the Kliq

Before I get started…

I missed last week. My bad. For what it’s worth, it was for an awesome reason. I had dinner with some friends and got to see their 4.5 month old, an angel named Madilyn Colleen. These are dear old friends who have known me for a longo time and it was great to see them. The guy is Pete, and he’s my hero because he married my friend Kristin, a smokin’ hottie 10 years his junior. I’ve never seen anyone so happy in a relationship, and he should be. Kristin is amazing. So yes, Pete is my hero, especially since I am currently smitten with a hot, sweet, fun girl who I am a decade older than. The math should mean I’ve accepted Mission: Impossible, but I refuse to believe that God would send me a hero that would lead me on a mission destined to fail. Post-that, I went to my buddy Dom’s house and watched The Great Muppet Caper.

I regret nothing. NOTHING!

Suspension of Disbelief begins… Now!


Yo… Yo… where’s my snare? Uh. What? I got the, uh, what?

Verse 1:

Sit back and read and peep these words
I’m finna talk Triple H and Nash for my wrestling nerds
Two icons of rasslin’ goin’ head to head
but is the horse that the WWE is beating dead?
See the Kliq was cool about a decade ago
but the curtain been pulled back and now everybody know
about HBK, Triple H, Nash, Hall and the Kid
and all of the backstage stuff they did
we know that they were friends, we know they ran stuff
We knew that for each other they’d all stand up
but now Hall makes me sad, Shawn’s a dad
and Sean Waltman is on video showing his nads
Hunter’s still around and Nash is too
but does anyone still care in 2-0-1-2?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want that
Beefin’ because Paul didn’t offer Kev a contract?

(wait wait wait. Paul? Kevin? As in… Paul Pfeiffer and Kevin Arnold? Kevin was always jealous of Paul. This is amazing symbolism and an incredibly clever homage to The Wonder Years by the WWE. Bravo, Vince. Bravo.)

Verse 2:

Now before we get back to my gangsta grammar
Let’s talk about The Game, Mista Sledgehammer
His match with Undertaker in April was dope
But the last match he had with Punk was nope
Hunter should be on his retirement tour
and asking young guys, “Why you jivin’ me for?”
He doesn’t need a feud, he doesn’t need a plot
Just let him be a treat to the fans that forgot
of how cool D-X was, how cool was The Game
and Kevin Nash can be around and do the same
Plenty of reasons for them to still be involved the things
without either of them having to brawl in the ring
so here’s to hoping this ends quickly, they’ve crossed the rubicon
but the match is a go so I guess the feud is on
hopefully it will end quick and subtly go
and not end with a new nWo

(does this make Stephanie McMahon Carla Healy? Did Paul marry Carla? I don’t want to look it up on wikipedia. I think I’m going to make the executive decision to g’on and think he did.)

Call Reynolds, cuz it’s a wrap.

Alright kids, that’s it for today. There’s other stuff happening in WWE with the tease of the long, long, LONG awaited John Cena heel turn, the 6-months-in-the-making-overnight-celebrity-Zack Ryder, and a rant I have in the chamber about The Rock, but there are other folks talmbout all that.

TNA has an interesting take on the Bobby Roode thing, showing a family genuinely upset and surprised at their loved one’s heel turn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that approach taken and it’s secretly friggin’ brilliant.

Anyway, leave me a comment so I know you love me.

This has been Suspension of Disbelief.


Rey Mundo is a Leo, enjoys Mug Root Beer and Chipotle, and is currently wearing Polo by Ralph Lauren briefs because it’s laundry day.

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