Welcome to the Pulse Wrestling TNA IMPACT Wrestling Report for 12.29.11. I am Alexander Miezin and I will be your reviewer as per usual. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas or which ever holiday they celebrate and a safe one. This is TNA’s last show of the year 2011. I am optimistic once again that TNA will have a great 2012 as 2011 seems to have ended with a great last couple of months. Without further ado, let’s hop right into the program!
Taped from the IMPACT Wrestling Zone in Orlando, Florida.
Our hosts tonight are of course Mike Tenay and Taz.
The show begins with a recap video showing the Jarretts both being canned from TNA as well as Madison Rayne being appointed as V.P. of the Knockouts. Highlights of the Tessmacher/Tara match from last week is shown as well. Oh man.
Gail Kim’s music hits inside of the arena and the Knockouts Champion comes to the ring with her Knockout Tag Team Champion partner Madison Rayne with her. It’s crazy to think a couple months ago Gail was doing absolutely nothing in WWE. Rayne calls Tara and Tessmacher to the ring pronto. They enter up the ramp. Starting a show with the Knockouts? Strange, but no complaints. Brooke and Tara are arm in arm walking to the ring. Rayne wants to cut to the chase immediately. Rayne is very screechy. She tells them that they will be fired because of what they did to her last week. She tells them that they are fired! Fired! Fired! Sting comes down the ramp. Tessmacher and Tara applaud. Rayne says it is okay and no need for him to be out there. She will handle it. Sting informs her that it’s not over until he says it is. Rayne does not have a legal contract as the V.P. of the Knockouts. Rayne has nothing! Sting mocks her. They scream back and forth in a high pitched voice. Hilarious. Sting will be in charge for right now. Kim is informed that she will defend the Knockouts title against Mickie James tonight! Mickie comes to the top of the ramp with all smiles. Kim and Rayne complain to Sting. Sting mocks Rayne. Sting is awesome in this role.
Scott Steiner and Abyss are in the back discussing their Wildcard Tag Team Tournament match. Steiner says they are the best team.
Christy Hemme is wearing a Happy New Years hat.
Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Semi-Final Match: Scott Steiner/Abyss vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian
Winner of this match advances to the finals of the tournament to earn a tag team title shot at Matt Morgan and Crimson at Genesis. We get a recap of the opening round matches won by each team. Steiner starts the match off with Kazarian. Steiner poses before the lock it up. Steiner tells AJ to shut up. Kazarian is shoved off by Steiner. Steiner kicks him in the stomach twice then tosses him emphatically into the turnbuckles. Chops by Steiner. Kazarian crucifix pins Steiner down for a two count. Kick to the head and a spin kick by Kazarian. Another two. Kazarian tags Styles. Steiner chants erupt. Styles gets elbowed in the face, but then dropkicks Steiner down to the canvas. Steiner rakes the eyes and tags in the Monster. Abyss gets kicked a couple of times in the leg then shoves AJ head first into the turnbuckles. AJ sprints at Abyss, but catches all boot. Clubbing blow to the back of AJ. AJ escapes a powerslam and enzuguri’s Abyss. Abyss picks up Styles and hits the Shock Treatment. Crowd clapping for AJ willing him on. Abyss chokes AJ. These two always have great chemistry. Steiner tagged back in. Kick to the stomach again. Belly to Belly by Steiner for a two count on Styles. Chop and punch to the back. AJ sunset flips Steiner for two. Roll up for another near fall. AJ is caught and sent over the head of Scotty with a overhead belly to belly suplex. Steiner misses a clothesline. Pele by AJ! Both are down. Styles gets the tag, springboard elbow to Abyss who was tagged in. Kazarian is getting the better of Abyss. Springboard dropkick. Springboard jumping DDT by Kazarian for two! Kazarian gets caught by the throat, but a chokeslam reversed for two. Second goozle finally gets him. Kazarian is chokeslammed by Abyss. Abyss hits AJ off the apron. Steiner wants in. He gets his wish. Abyss pulls Steiner towards him. Blackhole slam to Steiner! Abyss throws Kazarian on top! One. Two. Three! Kazarian and AJ Styles pick up the win. **. Fun tag match for the time he go.
Bully Ray comes to the ring yelling at Abyss. Bully Ray checks on Steiner and we go to break.
Bully Ray is tired of Abyss pushing them around. Bully Ray calls Abyss a bully. No reason to beat up Scotty. Bully Ray tells him that they got him girls, matches, money, etc. Abyss grabs the microphone from Bully Ray. Ray wants to know what Abyss wants. Abyss wants Bully Ray in a Monster’s Ball match at Genesis! If Bully Ray wins, Abyss will join the ranks of Immortal again. This should be great. Bully Ray looks terrified. I’d rater have seen Barbed Wire Massacre, but I’ll take this.
Sting is in the back laughing with Kurt Angle about last week’s Angle attack on Storm’s friends at the bar. He says this week Angle needs a tune up match. His opponent will be. . . .Rob Van Dam! Angle is mad. Sting fakes out Angle with a kick. Commercial time again.
Ric Flair and Gunner in the back talk about how they are sending the fans away knowing they saw something each week. Gunner points to the ambulance. He promises for a third time that someone will be taken away in one. Gunner is a killer and will go to the top. Woo!
Best of Three Series Match Three, Contract on a Pole Match: Zema Ion vs. Anthony Nese
This should be fun to review. Russo’s favorite pole match stipulation for this one. Ion won the first match of the series, Nese won the second. X-Division Champion Austin Aries is on commentary reminding us that he is a vegan. Winner goes to the four way at Genesis. Bell sounds. The two circle each other. They lock it up. Ion slugs him and runs towards the pole, but is stopped. Ion is kicked in the stomach, Nese goes to climb, but is stopped. Kick to the jaw by Ion. Kick to the stomach then back of the head by Nese. Ion grabs the leg of Nese. Forearms by Nese. Elbow by Nese. Kick to the head by Nese, then a running one. Running dropkick to the back by Zema. Ion mounts and pounds away on Anthony Nese. Nese fights back to his feet. Ion shoulders Nese in the corner. Ion goes flying over the pulled down top rope by Nese. Nese is pulled to the floor. The two fight on the floor. Asai moonsault off the apron by Nese. Nese goes to climb the pole. He’s halfway up when Ion pulls him down and crotches him. Top rope release German suplex by Nese! Nese tries climbing to the top, but is shoved off onto the floor. Ion attempts climbing the pole and gets the contract. *3/4. Lots of action, but very short like the entire series. Ion jumps up and down celebrating. Aries looks forward to the match on Sunday with Kid Kash, Jesse Sorenson, and Zema Ion. Commercial again.
Douglas Williams vs. Gunner w/Ric Flair
Will Douglas be the next victim tonight? Gunner gets some nice X-Pac heat. Recaps of the piledriver and DDT to the concrete. Bell rings. They trade catch as catch can takedowns. Gunner eats a European uppercut. Kick to the groin by Douglas. Clothesline to the back of the head by Gunner. Gunner snapmares him over. Crossfaces to the face of Williams. Uppercuts by Williams. Williams is sent shoulder first into the post. Gunner throws him to the floor then throws Brian Hebner. Gunner is DQ’d. Low blow by Flair on the floor. No match rating by the way. Flair peels the mat on the floor away. DDT to the concrete by Gunner! Williams is out cold. Nighty night.
TNA World Heavyweight Champion Bobby Roode is headed to the ring next….after commercial break.
A video of the Roode loss to Angle at Bound For Glory is aired. His family speaks about his recent attitude changes. This is Roode’s time.
Bobby Roode heads to the ring with his TNA World Heavyweight Championship draped across his shoulder. Roode says that one of is friends called him selfish. Of course he is selfish. He is the World Heavyweight Champion. He spent some money and flew his friend to the arena tonight from Toronto. He wants him to tell him face to face. Tracy Kaleski is his friend (sp?). He has known him for over twenty years. Very close friends. He is a professional lacrosse player. Tracy gets a round of applause as he hops the rail. Bobby wants people to help him. “Tracy” chants from the crowd. Classic. Roode says he’s been busy being the World Heavyweight Champion. He has commercials to shoot. He flew Tracy to Orlando to tell him how he feels. Bobby gets Tracy a microphone. Tracy has tried to call him. Bobby’s wife and family have tried calling. They don’t know who Bobby is anymore. He is the least selfish person he knows. Who has he become? Bobby Roode has changed. He misses his buddy Bobby. Tracy has been driving Bobby’s kids to hockey practice. They wonder where their dad is. Roode is wearing a $3,000 suit, a $25,000 piece of gold over his shoulder ($2,500). Roode calls Tracy his lackey. Ouch. Roode’s parents are old hags he says. They are mooching off of Bobby’s money. Bobby’s sister has been nowhere the past thirty-five years. Bobby says “don’t you even talk about my kids!” Bobby says Tracy’s fifteen minutes of fame is up. Roode chokes Tracy to the mat. He stomps him in the back and washes his face in the mat. Jeff Hardy’s music hits. He sprints to the ring scaring the champion off. These two will meet at Genesis for the gold.
Eric Young and ODB are backstage. Young says they are undefeated and the best tag team. He confuses them with Crimson. Keep the tags fresh. They are in love. Young is nervous. Young wants a kiss. ODB says no. Break.
Kurt Angle tells the camera man that RVD doesn’t know how to wrestle. This is not fair. Sting is after Angle. Angle is better than them he says. The best wrestler of all-time.
Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Semi-Final Match: Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Eric Young/ODB
Replays from last week are shown of the tag matches. Young is scared by ODB’s pyro. Young runs over and locks it up with Tenay! Eric starts off with Magnus. Eric Young is nuts. Young tags in ODB to start. Okay. Magnus circles around her flirting. ODB does the same. She grabs his butt. She then slaps him in the face. Slap again. A third. Fourth! ODB gives him a Motorboat. Joe laughs. Lou Thesz press by ODB. They roll around a bit. Young tags himself in. He is jealous. Young takes his pants off. Still funny. Young spears Magnus and pounds away. Young flips over the top rope, slides in, belly to belly for two. Joe kicks Young in the back. Boot to the face by Magnus. Magnus stomps on Young’s stomach. Rolling elbow to the back of the head. Joe is in now. Punches to Eric’s face. Running elbow and kick. Elbow drop off the top by Magnus. Two count for Joe on Young. Forearm by Joe. Clothesline by Joe. Near fall. Punches by Joe in the corner. Young avoids Joe and connects with a flying forearm. ODB gets in and throws Magnus to the floor. ODB has her flask. She drinks from it. ODB is thrown into Young, who was on the top rope. Joe Muscle Buster’s Young for the win. *1/4. 100% comedy match. Joe and Magnus advance to the finals. Commercial time.
Mickie James in the back asked about her knowledge of Gail Kim. Mickie has a good feel for Kim’s motions. She has a better grip on the tactics that Gail will use. She is confident. She knows that she is better than Gail Kim. Mickie compliments the entire Knockouts division. She is ready.
Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam
This should be a real treat. I am crossing my fingers that this is longer than three minutes. RVD and Angle lock it up to start. Headlock by RVD. Angle shoots him off. RVD tries to kick Kurt, but Angle rolls to the floor avoiding it. Lock up again. Angle backs RVD into the corner. Rakes the eyes. No clean break here. Punch to the head of RVD. Irish whip by Angle, RVD misses a kick, roll up by RVD for two. Angle dodges another kick. Spin kick in the corner by RVD for two. RVD kicks him in the bread basket then the face. Rolling Thunder. Near fall. Kicks and punches by RVD. Spinning kick to the head. RVD gets caught with a release belly to belly suplex. Both men are down. Crowd claps. Punch by Angle. Snap suplex by Angle for a two count. Angle bearhugs the back of RVD. RVD elbows out, but is punched in the back of the head. Spinkick by RVD again to Kurt’s head. Punches by RVD. Clothesline by RVD. Another one. Monkey Flip is blocked. Backdrop suplex by Kurt. Near fall. Angle is setting up a kick ala James Storm. RVD counters and kicks Angle in the face. RVD misses the Five Star Frog Splash. Angle locks on the Anklelock. Storm is in the ring! Last Call Superkick to Angle’s face. Brian Hebner throws the match out. I assume Angle wins by DQ? **1/2. Storm backs up the ramp. Angle vs. Storm at Genesis.
Up next is the Knockouts title match! Commercials.
Rob Van Dam wanted to win the match. Highlights of the match that just happened airs. Angle thinks this is a joke. Storm has to cheat. Angle calls the Superkick a bar fight move, not a wrestling move. James Storm mentions Angle’s attack on his friends last week. Storm says Angle got a taste of his boot tonight. Angle proclaims his first loss to Storm didn’t count. Storm is up 1-0. Angle says that last match is the one that counts.
TNA Knockouts Championship Match: Gail Kim (c) vs. Mickie James
Women’s match in the main event? Let’s do this! Mickie rolls her up to being twice for a one. Slaps by Mickie. Forearms. Kick by Kim. Thesz press by Mickie with punches. Kick to the stomach by Mickie. Elbow by James. Hurricanrana by Mickie. Dropkick by Mickie James. This is a Final Resolution rematch by the way. Mickie slides to the floor, but Kim blocks her. Neck breaker by Mickie James on the floor! Last commercial break of the evening.
Mickie punching away as we come back. Kick to the face by Gail as Mickie tried getting back in the ring. Crowd is clapping Mickie on. She finally gets back into the ring. Knees to the head by Gail Kim. Kim slams her face into the canvas. Stomps by Gail Kim. Kim sends her face first into the turnbuckle pad. Kim sends her face first again into the other side of the ring. Mickie shoves her off. Gail clotheslines Mickie. Two count for Kim. Good match so far. Knee to the stomach by Gail. Mickie fights off with body shots. Kim pulls the hair of James sending her to the mat. Hammer lock by Kim on the mat. Will Mickie give it up? Mickie tries rolling through. She eventually does. Tie up. Mickie sends her down. Double axe smash to the face by Gail Kim. Slaps to the face by Gail as she taunts the challenger. Mickie punches her way back to her feet. Head scissors into an Octopus by Gail Kim. Inoki’s old move. Mickie tries to get up from it, but collapses. She rolls into the ropes breaking the hold. Forearms by Gail Kim. Elbow by Kim. Kim tries the Octopus again. Mickie backs her into the turnbuckle pads. Mickie collapses down again. Mickie rolls back into a pin! Two count though. Kick to the head by Kim sends Mickie to the canvas. Mickie gets up. Forearm. More! Sends her face first into the corner. Clotheslines! She’s firing back. Mickie goes to the top. Kim rolls to the floor. Mickie jumps off onto her! Thesz press from the top rope to the outside! Mickie slides her back inside the ring. Some woman in a mask, hoodie, and black pants does Melina’s old move on Mickie James! Gail Kim pins her! Kim retains. ***. Great Knockouts match. I wonder if that really is Melina or they did that move to swerve us.
Gail Kim celebrates with the title belt as it is revealed to have been Madison Rayne that attacked Mickie James!
Show closes and so does 2011 for TNA. Have a Happy New Year everyone and remember to stay safe!
Tags: AJ Styles, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, crimson, Gail Kim, impact, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Kurt Angle, magnus, Matt Morgan, Mickie James, Review, Rob Van Dam, Samoa Joe, TNA