THE RAGER! – You Got To Funkifize: A Look at Brodus Clay

Welcome to yet another edition of THE RAGER, Inside Pulse Wrestling’s #1 outlet for your rage. And by “your” I obviously mean mine…unless you comment below (wink…nudge…karate chop).

Okay, I think that was enough for introductions so lets just get to why we’re all here and that obviously is that The Rager had gone missing last week. My apologies for the absence and I had written THE GREATEST RAGER EVER too but it mysteriously disappeared the day it was to go up and I hadn’t realized it until it was way late. So in honor of that great edition, I now attempt to replicate that masterpiece in a way that has never been done before. Since a lot has happened since last week, I’m gonna include more current happenings as well because that’s how you stay cool with the kids listening to their rap music and their hippity and hoppity and pokemon and such.

As one may conclude by the title of this edition, I’m taking an extended look at the redebut of Brodus Clay. To you get you into the right mindset, I present to you the soundtrack of this Rager. Funkizied yet? Right on.

To the astonishment of many, Brodus Clay made his glorious return last week and left us all in a wide mixture of reactions and emotions. I, for one, initially had more of a disbelief of what was happening and a wishful thinking that it was all just a big joke and any moment, Clay would snap out of it and be the monster that he was previously advertised as. Later that night, I rewatched it, still with the disbelief that it had actually happened. With every viewing, acceptance crept in like the creepy villain that it is and after a while, I found myself enjoying and being entertained by Clay’s antics in the ring during the match (not to mention the amusing notion of a guy known as the funkasaurus was beating a guy who had a pimp cane). By the time the night had ended, I found myself actually loving the idea and the character. I even love the idea of having NXT and Tough Enough rejects as his dancers (side bar: how bad does it feel to know the first person eliminated from TE and the one that proclaimed her favorite match was Melina vs Alicia Fox is the first person from the show to be a regular in the WWE).

So what is WWE’s thinking in going with this character and where do you think it will go from here? I’m very glad you asked, imaginary audience members that obviously cheer me on as I type this.

My initial thought of all this is that WWE couldn’t quite settle on what they wanted for Brodus and so they threw in the towel and went with the most ridiculous idea with flash-in-the-pan intentions and shelf Brodus until something better or become a main-stay on Superstars. However, Brodus is still given the squash matches on every main show since the debut and it seems like WWE is actually fully supporting this and, I must say, I am relieved. Sure, it’ll be difficult to bill him as a serious main event competitor in the future. But who knows, with a little tweeking, maybe toning down the character after a while, we could be looking at a main player in the future. I’m keeping hopes alive because I’m sure WWE was in a similar predicament with early John Cena. He became a draw, they just had to dial the hokey rap schtick down a bit and we get Super Cena.

Side Note: the band featured in the “soundtrack” was a band called Tower of Power that was a truly amazing band. But more importantly, they introduced the world to a truly amazing singer named Lenny Williams. I encourage everyone to take a moment and listen to some of their stuff on youtube. I’ll wait……..

And we’re back.

In other news,
– Chris Jericho still hasn’t said a word and we still love him for it. Although, I’m really gonna need some sort of explanation here soon.
– Seems as if Punk was let off some sort of leash last Raw and really laid into Johnny Ace…who then laid into Mick Foley (I guess Barney was right about the Chain of Screaming).
– The Perez Hilton segment was surprisingly short and not as painful as it could’ve been so be sure to look forward to his induction into the super selective WWE Hall of Fame and Friends Club.
– I wouldn’t be surprised if Ryder was somehow linked to the Kane attack. And for those of you that are about to call me an idiot. Did Eve not end up in Ryder’s car at the end of the night? Case and point.
– Seems like the Cena/Kane timeline has turned darker for Cena and his attack on Swagger. About this time I would link a picture of Cena with an evil timeline goatee to indicate his evilness but alas, the internet has failed me. SO I TURN TO YOU, MY LOYAL SUBJECTED…um…I mean, SUBJECTS, AKA RAGEANS! I issue the following challege, first one to post a picture of an Evil Timeline Goatee Cena gets 1,000,000 Rage Points. All entries must be submitted through the comments below or on twitter by following me @cwsanders39.

That is all for me this week, hopefully nothing mysterious happens and you all actually get to read this.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer:
How to Save a Tangerine From Suffering

Never peel it.
Use it to practice
juggling instead.
Give it a name.

(from B is for Bad Poetry)

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