Okay, so I hope everyone who cared to got a chance to read my Ultimate Rumble of Royal Destiny. Those who commented seemed to like it, and I don’t know if I have it in me to do the Ultimate Wrestlemania, but we’ll see.
So, this week I thought I would comment on the concept of every wrestler having a finishing maneuver. Yes, I get the idea that a signature finishing move both pops the crowd and gives a wrestler a unique trait that fans can identify with, but it does sort of give an air of predictability to today’s matches.
We have been conditioned to wait for the big finisher. I’m not going to get excited on a pin attempt when John Cena performs a DDT or CM Punk hits a high cross body because neither of them have ever, EVER won a match following one of those moves. No one scores a pin off a sunset flip anymore. The small package only becomes a devastating maneuver if its victim is distracted by a rival’s appearance on the ramp.
My argument is that back in the day, there were some moves that were seen as sure-fire finishers no matter who hit them. I say establish some of those in today’s scene and let everyone have them in their arsenals.
I mean, look at, let’s say, the UFC: Are you telling me that – and I apologize here if the names I use are out of date or otherwise inappropriate given their style – if Georges St.-Pierre likes to use the triangle choke then not only should no one else even consider using the move, but if some one does, it probably won’t be effective? I mean did Royce Gracie only teach his family the rear naked choke like Fritz von Erich and the Iron Claw? I know we as wrestling fans have to have a “suspension of disbelief” factor, but there is always at least some attempt to build realism, so let’s have a few moves that are potential match-enders that are not exclusive to any one performer.
My favorite example of this is the piledriver. I know, the WWE has gotten away from it because of the potential for injury, but it could be any move, really. I mean, the FU/Attitude Adjustment is performed by Cena putting his opponent on his shoulder and then flipping them over onto the mat on their back. I do this to my kids all the time and they somehow keep getting up, but fans buy it as a finisher because it’s been established. Like the piledriver, the power bomb used to be considered “the end” no matter who performed it. The piledriver was such a killer, it was “outlawed in the State of Tennessee,” and thus had to be done while the ref was out or saved for No DQ matches and the ever-popular Texas Death Match. That was a brilliant idea. There are a ton of moves that could be legitimate finishers that could be used by anyone: The Shining Wizard, the torture rack, the figure-four, the Scorpion death drop or any other DDT variation, the brain buster, superplex, etc.
Speaking of the DDT, I blame all of this on Jake Roberts. I know that others had signature finishers before Jake got popular in the WWF, but with the rise of Roberts’s popularity, the DDT became a killer. It seemed once the move got over as a guaranteed finisher, everyone needed one, too. Now, sadly, the DDT, which “The Snake” once said stood for “The End,” now seems to stand for “roll out of the ring so we can cut to a commercial for a minute.”
When I’m not programmed to wait for the RKO or the Pedigree, I’ll enjoy a match more. Now, there has been some improvement in that a lot of the top guys have developed submission moves. This helps, because unlike a move like say the Attitude Adjustment or Wasteland or whatever, the end could come at any time. I buy that the STF or ankle lock or figure-four can end a match no matter when they are applied. The effort to come up with a signature move has become so convoluted that I have no idea how some of them are even supposed to hurt. (*cough* Cobra *cough*)
Look, no one is using the fisherman’s suplex. It’s a great move that looks good and the leg hook makes it lead straight to a pinning predicament. If the WWE isn’t going to capitalize on Joe Hennig as the “Perfect Progeny,” let everyone use it. Same for the Gorilla Press Slam for power guys, or the Spinebuster. Tully Blanchard used to use the slingshot suplex (bounce your opponent’s legs off the top rope for added momentum), and that made sense from a physics standpoint. Shawn Michaels and CM Punk have taken to using the “Macho” elbow drop. How about Brodus Clay or some other big guy adopt the Hogan leg-drop as a tribute to the Hulkster? Or how about anyone use a top-rope leg-drop as a finisher. I think dropping a leg across someone’s throat from 10 feet in the air is as believable finisher as the Skull-crushing Finale, whether its Sin Cara or David Otunga or Husky Harris delivering it.
Submission moves work even better for this. Referencing the MMA world again, an armbar, properly applied, usually gets the tap out, no matter who is applying it. Ever been in a chicken-wing? It hurts, and everyone knows it. I’m pretty sure if Justin Gabriel got the Undertaker in a chicken-wing, the Dead Man would totally be the Tapping Man. It just makes sense.
Just to establish a common denominator here, one of the greatest matches ever according to long-time fans (one of whom is me), is the Wrestlemania III showdown between Randy Savage and Ricky Steamboat over the Intercontental title. I won’t go into all the back story here, but the match featured 19 two-counts…19! And the crowd bought into every one of them, not just sitting back waiting for the elbow drop or the flying cross-body. And how did the match end? Small package reversal on a suplex attempt. Compare that to the CM Punk-Dolph Ziggler match from the 2012 Royal Rumble. Punk had Ziggler beat on three different occasions before finally scoring the pin: Twice with the GTS (which admittedly is both a cool-looking and painful-looking finisher) and once with the Anaconda Vice. And Dolph’s only legitimate near-fall was following the GTS reversal into the Zig-Zag.
Fans love near-falls, but they hold off on really popping for them until someone hits their finisher. Let’s see Randy Orton pin someone with a running powerslam, ala Dr. Death Steve Williams, or the Miz score a win with the Perfect-plex. What if Mark Henry locked someone in a full-nelson every now and then and got a tap-out. I mean, the “World’s Strongest Slam” really the “Mark Henry drops someone on the mat from about three feet up” Slam. You know, the Shining Wizard isn’t attached to anyone right now. If Cody Rhodes or R-Truth hit me in the side of the head with their knee, I think I’d be down for the three-count. Not everything has to be the Pepsi Plunge or Shooting Star Press (and don’t even get me started on how spinning in the air is supposed to make a move hurt more).
Now, on the subject of finishing moves, here’s one you never see: the flying knee-drop off the top rope. If that doesn’t sound particularly devastating, watch this (pretty graphic, if you’re not already familiar with it):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgkvx4fKUyk
Now, if you want the back-story on that, I’ll give you the short version. Bruiser Brody, one of pro wrestling’s original mad men and by most accounts a legitimate crazy person and bad ass, was stabbed to death in a locker room altercation with WWC (Puerto Rico) booker Invader I in July of 1988. Despite pretty much no question about who did it (there were witnesses), Invader was acquitted by a split jury.
Fast forward to a few months later, and “Raging Bull” Manny Fernandez is down in Puerto Rico wrestling Invader’s nephew (I think), Invader III. What’s taking place in the above clip is commonly known as the “Manny Fernandez Receipt.” I’m honestly not sure how legit the whole thing is (I’ve heard conflicting stories), but I’d buy the move as having the necessary impact to end a match.
