THE RAGER! – Does This Mean Michelle McCool Can Come Back? (Rumble/Raw Thoughts)

Welcome to another edition of THE RAGER, where I have compiled my thoughts on the previous couple days of WWE activity so lets hope to it!

This week’s RAGER soundtrack is brought to you by Franz Ferdinand

Rumble Ramblings

– I didn’t have many thoughts on the Heavyweight Championship match other than it played out exactly how we expected. I mean, you spend an entire month on developing a character around the idea of him finding ways to escape with the belt and then put him in a match where one can win by escaping a cage. I found the “I’ll never let go, Jack” ending to be quite touching and looks like Big Show will become an old women filled with regrets.
– A Divas match happened!….yeah!
– I also don’t have much to say about Kane vs. Cena because it was nothing that we hadn’t already seen in the weeks of build-up. John Cena beats up Kane, Kane beats up Cena, Kane destroys Zack Ryder and Eve awkwardly cries mere minutes after doing her lame booty pop move (which was not smart, powerful and only sexy to certain people below a certain age).
– Brodus Clay Squashed Drew McIntyre…the end
– I’m definitely not in minority when it comes to enjoying Punk vs. Ziggles, it was a fun match to watch. I was worried that the match would just focus on Punk and Laurinaitis but I felt like they walked the fine line to balance everyone out and having Ace stay outside the ring was a big help in that. I had my doubts simply because of that angle but it was played well and I am relieved.
– The only real redeeming quality of the Rumble was the fact that we got essentially a full one-on-one match with Sheamus and Jericho at the very end. Other than that, the was a lot of time spent on goofy gimmicks and wasted entries (namely Jinder Mahal, Great Khali and all 3 commentators). And don’t think that I’m just bitter because they wanted to throw some fun stuff in the match . I know that every there’s gonna be some of it in there and by-and-large, I’m completely fine with it. I’m fine with Santino doing the cobra, legends making one night returns and other random surprises. What I’m not okay with is 1) giving Jinder Mahal any more camera time, especially if he’s still trying that ridiculously racist character that went out of style about a decade ago. 2) Bringing back Khali and having him in the match way longer than he should and making him look unstoppable as he gingerly walks ever so slowly and 3)wasting entries on commentators who have just now started to get back to actually calling the action in the ring (I could let this slide a little more if it were a 40 man format again).
– Sheamus is our Rumble winner and I’m pleased because the win doesn’t seem quite as wasted as it felt when Del Rio won last year.

Raw Rawrings
Its hard to find anything to complain about in this week’s Raw because it was a pretty good episode which sucks for me because its easier to write about terrible things.

I do have some random thoughts, a lot of which were posted on twitter as I participate in a little thing I call #liverager

– When Daniel Bryan indicates toward the belt around his waist, it looks like he’s saying “GET IN MAH BELLEH.”
– I’m way more ok with Mike Tyson getting inducted into the celebrity wing, at least he got in the ring and did something…and made more than just one appearance over the years.
– So Kofi had the big moment at the Rumble that had everyone talking, got included in the Elimination Chamber and then proceeded in beating Miz cleanly on Raw and in somewhat quick fashion. Does this mean WWE will finally commit to some sort of push to Kofi and get behind him? Are they confident that he won’t blow it?
– Jericho attacked Punk and thus starts what we had been waiting on…minus any sort of explanation. Will this turn into Punk cutting a promo against a brick wall every week? Because we already got that against Laurinaitis.
– All character development done over the past month with Cena and Kane has gone out the window, first with John Cena being all smiles and proclaiming “its a party up in here” as he went all super Cena on Kane and then secondly with the big bad red monster running away at the end.
– What I did like about HHH/Laurinaitis segment at the end was how HHH pointed out all of Ace’s shortcomings and explained how other’s have shown the same qualities and had to be terminated and the most impressive part to me was HHH admitted he was included into that category. But as always, leave it to HHH to expertly bury other talent completely (I use the term talent very loosely towards Ace).
-Undertaker returns! And for some reason, the first thought that came to mind was what I stated in the title of this column, don’t know why…these things just happened.
– I was quite curious about Taker’s very obvious wig and how that’s going to be handled in weeks/months to come. Also, what is up with WWE’s current obsession with wigs? First masked Kane and now Taker, geez.
– I think HHH seemingly turning down Taker’s challenge for a Mania match was a great moment of continuity. I mean, just moments before that, HHH was going on about not letting personal feelings/motives get in the way of doing the job and I believe that explains HHH’s reaction and I thought it fit perfectly.

That does it for me, share your thoughts on Raw and the Rumble below in the comments!

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,

The Answer:
The Dean Martin Defense

When the moon hits your eye
like a big pizza a pie
just say you ran into a door

(from B is for Bad Poetry)

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