Hey everyone and welcome to the Pulse Wrestling LIVE WWE Monday Night Raw Report!
Check out The Martyrshow: On The WWE Divas Division (Kelly Kelly, AJ Lee, Beth Phoenix, Eve, Kharma)
Recap of last week’s John Cena/Kane/Eve/Zack Ryder storyline.
Backstage Eve Torries is chatting with the Bella Twins. The twins console Eve about last week but she laughs. She was just using Zack Ryder and now everyone is talking about her. Now she’s got the big fish hooked – just list she used Zack, she’s gonna use Cena. She starts to go over her devious plan, which included using her cellphone video cam, but John Cena comes over and just shakes his head. She stammers.
RAW OPENING FEATURING NICKELBACK!
John Cena comes out to his music to start the show. Mostly boos from this crowd. As he enters the ring, Eve comes out with a mic and claims she was taken “out of context” and she could explain. Cena gives us the cliffnotes – she is a whore. Because of her, he lost a good friend – he lost a broski for a hoski! Cena prompts the crowd to chant “Ho-Ski” which I guess is PG? Eve begs to explain. Cena thinks she should target the Rock next, as they are similar and both scandalous bitches. Eve drops to her knees and cries as the crowd chants “Ho Ski” at her. Stay classy Vince McMahon. Eve pops up and tries to rape kiss Cena but this time he refuses to make out with her for 10 seconds before he decides not to. Cena says he’s disease free and wants to keep it that way. Officials pull her off and she cries as the crowd chants “Ho Ski” at her and Cena exits. Did WWE secretly hire Vince Russo now that he’s finally gone from TNA? Chant changes to “We Want Ryder – Woo, Woo Woo” as officials take Eve away.
Video of Undertaker watching HHH matches on a brick wall, cutting his hair, etc. He promises he will write the end of HHH’s story TONIGHT.
Commercial Break
Sheamus is announced as officially facing Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Cole explains that Henry is able to wrestle on Raw because John Laurinaitis is allowing it, despite Henry being suspended on Smackdown. Back and forth CLUBBERIN. Henry goes for the World’s Strongest Slam but Sheamus floats out and hits the Brogue Kick for the clean pin.
Winner: Sheamus
Backstage John Laurinaitis and David Otunga talk about last night at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Teddy Long enters and Laurinaitis welcomes him. Teddy is not happy about it. It wasn’t John’s idea to also be GM of Smackdown, it was David Otunga. Apparently they both agree that each should be GM of both shows. Laurinaitis announces a 10 man battle royal for tonight where the winner faces CM Punk at Wrestlemania. They bicker about who has the better brand and Long makes fun of Otunga’s bowtie.
Undertaker/HHH teaser plays “The Memory Remains” by Metallica so I guess main eventers can have real music now because of Punk.
Commercial Break
R-Truth & Kofi Kingston vs. Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendes
Match goes about 2 minutes with Kofi hitting Trouble in Paradise on Primo for the clean pin.
WInners: Kofi & Truth
The next inductee in the 2012 WWE Hall of Fame is… Ron Simmons!
Backstage Josh Matthews chats with Chris Jericho who thinks CM Punk is a PUNK for accepting the result of last night when Jericho was never officially eliminated.
Commercial Break
Big Ezekial Jackson vs. David Otunga
Teddy Long comes down with Big Zeke and Laurinaitis with Otunga. Very short match, about 1 minute, with Otunga winning after a spine buster.
Winner: Otunga
Recap of HHH/HBK’s segment from last week. More Metallica plays as the Undertaker WALKS backstage.
Commercial Break
The Undertaker comes out to his full music and entrance. His win/loss from last year has plagued him all year. Never in the Undertaker’s wildest nightmares did he imagine that HHH would say no. Yadda yadda yadda he still wants the match. “Theme of The Game” plays and HHH appears on the stage in his suit. He goes to the ring. HHH begins to talk and Undertaker cuts him off with SHUT UP. They debate about the match. Undertaker asks if its bad for business if he’s gone or if HHH is gone. HHH still refuses to agree to the match. Undertaker brings out the c card – COWARD. This upsets Hunter. He’s sick to death of this coward thing! He calms down and grins, says this will not work, and reiterates his “no” position, then leaves the ring. Undertaker gets on the mic again and says HHH is saying no because HBK couldn’t do it either, and HBK is better than him. Hunter takes off his suit jacket and tie in the aisle. Now unbuttons his shirt and walks back to the ring. He believes he can end it – do what Shawn couldn’t do. Then agrees to the match and walks away to a huge pop. But then comes back – if we do this, we go all the way. No return. No uncertainty. No excuses. We do this? We go all the way. Hunter only has one condition – Hell in a Cell. Huh that is cool, didn’t expect that. Undertaker exits to Metallica. When he gets to the Raw entrance, he peers backwards at Hunter, smirks, and walks to the back.
Commercial Break
Daniel Bryan comes out as the announcers talk about Undertaker/HHH. Bryan cuts a promo about winning last night and being champion.
Daniel Bryan vs. Santino
Apparently non-title. Santino gets a big reaction and gets a bit of offense, but Bryan locks in the Lebell Lock after about 1 minute.
Winner: Bryan
Still to come – #1 contender’s Over The Top Rope Challenge and another John Cena interview – this time as the main event!
Commercial Break
Kelly Kelly & Oxcana vs. The Bella Twins (Nikki & Brie)
There was some divas action with mostly Kelly Kelly as the worker on the face side. Twin magic trips up Oxcana.
Winner: Bellas
John Cena comes out to mostly boos. He was interrupted earlier by a Skank-potamus. Cena then shifts gears to the Rock. He talks about Rock not being here, but will be here next week. Cena says he does not respect the Rock. He makes fun of his own movies, saying 12 Rounds should have gone only 3. Cena says “Vince will fine me” but the only reason The Rock came back was to promote Fast Five and launch his Twitter. He is fighting at Wrestlemania for the small amount of people who will say they are proud to be (sorry) a Professional Wrestler. He goes on and on about how the Rock is a movie star and he has nothing but the WWE. He vows that he will defeat the Rock and looks forward to April 9, the Raw after Wrestlemania weekend when the Rock will be gone again. It’s about to get real – we have 41 days until Wrestlemania so enjoy the ride. See ya next week moviestar.
Commercial Break
CM Punk comes out in his wrestling gear and a brown sports jacket, to help on commentary during our Raw main event.
10 Man Battle Royal to Determine The #1 Contender For The WWE Title At Wrestlemania 28
The Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston vs. R-Truth vs. The Great Khali vs. Santino Marella vs. Chris Jericho
Cole and Punk argue a bit as the heels enter. So everyone who lost in the Elimination Chamber just gets another shot the next day? Also Kofi and Santino appeared in matches earlier. What a strange match and setup for a World Title Match at Wrestlemania. They are better off making the Raw Elimination Chamber for that spot. Battle Royal action commences. Everyone gangs up on Khali and he’s dumped over the top. Nine men remain and we need to take a
Commercial Break
And we are back and its a royal battle going on. Everyone is still in there apparently. Punk notes that he thinks everyone should gang up on the Big Show like they did Khali. Kofi and Truth eliminate Miz, but then The Big Show double goozles them into a double chokeslam. Jericho codebreaker on Show. ZigZag on Jericho. CrossRhodes on Ziggler. Bossman Slam by Wade on Cody. Santino attacks but Wade lifts him up and goes to dump him, but Santino reverses and Wade is out. Truth attacks and Santino eliminates him! Show picks up ZIggler and throws him over the top onto Truth and Barrett. Down to 5 – Cody, Show, Jericho, Kofi, Santino. Kofi is next out. Medics are checking out Ziggler. Final 4 is Show, Cody, Jericho and Santino. Cody eliminates Santino to big boos after Santino hung on a couple times. Jericho and Cody try a double suplex on Show, but he tosses them off and eliminates Cody. Down to Show and Jericho. Show and Jericho tussle against the ropes, and Cody helps Jericho toss Show over the top.
Winner: Jericho
So it will be Jericho vs Punk at Wrestlemania.
Punk claps and gets out of his announce chair and stands on the announce table holding the title. Replays. Jerichos music stops and Punk goes into the ring to confront him. Punk holds out his hand for a shake. Jericho backs away. Play Punk’s music!
