WWE Monday Night Raw 02.27.2012 Live Results: The Rock Returns, John Cena, HHH/Undertaker

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After last week when John Cena reignited the feud, The Rock returns to Raw tonight to address Cena and the WWE! Check out CB’s World: An In-Depth Look Back As To Why I Hated WWE WrestleMania 27 (Triple H, The Undertaker, John Cena, The Rock) before Raw begins at 9pm EST!

John Cena/Rock video package – The Rock is here TONIGHT

Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to Raw!

Chris Jericho and CM Punk walk to the ring for a VERBAL DEBATE to start the festivities tonight. They go back and forth for about 10 minutes. CM Punk brings up Bret Hart being “the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be” and asked if Jericho gave that to him when he was 2. or invented being Canadian. Jericho said he came back to destroy Punk on the big stage. Punk gets in a line about “Dancing with the Stars.” This goes on a while until Daniel Bryan’s music plays and he comes down. Without much delay, he goes right to work on Punk. Brawling in the ring, Punk clears Bryan out and Jericho disappears. We’re apparently gonna have a match proper – but after we take a

Commercial Break

Non-title Champion vs. Champion Match
CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan w/His Girlfriend AJ

This is the third “champion vs champion” match in as many weeks. Teddy Long and John Laurinaitis have joined commentary to talk about their epic Raw/Smackdown GM FEUD. Meanwhile WWE’s top two in-ring workers continue to go at it in the ring, with Punk controlling. Santino is with Teddy and Otunga is with Laurinaitis. They go back and forth in the ring for a couple of minutes before we’re back for a quick turnaround on a

Commercial Break

After we’re back Punk is mostly in control. He hits the top rope Savage elbow drop but doens’t cover and sells the mid-section. Otunga gets on the apron causing a distraction, and Bryan goes for the Lebell Lock by Punk floats out. Santino and Otunga both on the apron, cobra on Otunga, but Laurinaitis pulls down Santino. Long gets up and its an OLD MAN GM SHOVIN FIGHT. Of course we need to focus on that and not the champion vs champion match in the ring.

Meanwhile Bryan goes to walk out with AJ, but Sheamus comes and brings him back to the ring for Punk, who hits go to sleep. However, Laurinaitis stops the ref, and Otunga, Santino and Long come into the ring. Shoving between Long and Laurinaitis continues. Punk leaves with the title but is attacked by Jericho on the ramp. Jericho with the Walls of Jericho on Punk on the Raw ramp.
Winner: ? No Contest ?

I’m not a fan of how Russo-rific this booking is, and how three times in a row they casually gave away champion vs champion in long matches with non-finishes. It makes the matches themselves seem worthless and conditions viewers that long matches are (1) pointless and (2) inconsequential.

Tonight THE ROCK is here!

Commercial Break

Backstage Josh Matthews stands at the trainer’s room door – Punk is inside, not super hurt but very angry after being attacked by Jericho. No Punk, just Josh updating us.

Video package running through HHH vs Undertaker from last year, with interviews by many WWE megastars commenting on it. Stone Cold Steve Austin, Randy Orton, Pat Patterson, Edge. Really strong segment.

Plug for WWE.com-exclusive HBK interview where he gets UPSET – you gotta check it out!!!

Later tonight: John Cena vs. The Miz in a Wrestlemania 27 rematch

Commercial Break

Kelly Kelly vs. Nikki Bella w/Brie Bella
No entrances for the ladies so I’m guessing we’re running long on time in hour 1. Match goes about 1 minute, Brie gets on the apron for some attempted TWIN MAGIC but Kelly thwarted it and arches her back and pins Nikki with a bridge.
Winner: Kelly

Commercial Break

John Cena vs. The Miz
Cena comes out first to a loud, mostly negative reaction and hangs out on the ramp to soak it in. The Miz has a mic and cuts a promo on the way to the ring talking about his media appearances and how he’s so far overlooked for Wrestlemania. Match begins and Cena gets a quick cover but Miz goes to work. Miz controls for a few minutes and hits a DDT for a 2 count. Suddenly Cena makes his own comeback, hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle and then the Attitude Adjustment. Locks in the STF for the tap in about 4 minutes.
Winner: Cena

Cena celebrates to his music and then The Rock is shown backstage on the Titantron warming up for his promo backstage. He does a slow “you can’t see me” to mock Cena.

Commercial Break

Tag Team Championship Triple Threat Match
R Truth & Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger w/Vickie Guerrero vs. Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendes (c)

Three men, one from each team? are in the ring at one time, with the first pin/submission getting the titles. Vickie cuts a promo on the way down to the ring. Match begins and lasts about 2 minutes before we take a

Commercial Break

Back and the heels are mostly in control, with Primo and Swagger attacking Truth. Heels doing some tags and arguing. Truth knocks down both Primo and Ziggler and all three are down. Both heels tag and then Truth gets a HOT TAG to Kofi who is a HOUSE AFIRE. Chaotic action continues with finishers all over. Swagger has an ankle lock on Epico, Thunder in Paradise by Kofi on Swagger, but Primo runs in, hits the back cracker on Swagger and clears out Kofi, allowing Epico to get the pin and retain the titles.
Winners: Epico & Primo

After the match, KANE red bursts appear, then a brief video, then the man himself makes his entrance. Chokeslams for everyone! Play Kane’s music!

Backstage John Laurinaitis and David Otunga chat about the Oscars, and in comes Teddy Long. They argue and Long calls him a “horse’s ass” which gets a brief chant

Commercial Break

Video package recapping the Eve Torres story from the last couple weeks on Raw.

Eve Torres comes out to her music to massive heel reaction. She has a mic and cuts a promo – she’s a woman in a man’s world. Any man would love to get used by her – it’s not her fault. Her music plays and she exis.

Kelly Kelly goes up to Eve backstage upset at her heel turn. Eve just laughes at her and walks away. Alicia Fox is standing there and she shakes her damn head.

Big Show and Sheamus are WALKING

Cole & Lawler invite you to a limited theatrical release for an all-new buddy action comedy “Breaking The Rules” starring Edge.

Commecial Break

Big Show & Sheamus vs. Mark Henry & Cody Rhodes
Cody has a mic and shows Another Embarassing Big Show Moment at Wrestlemania 24, losing to Floyd Mayweather on the Titantron. Big Show is upset. Big Show and Cody go to start, but Cody blindtags Henry and runs to the floor. Show takes out Henry with a jumping spear on Henry, then runs after Cody, who flees to the entrance area. Sheamus tags in, hits the Brogue kick and pins Henry clean.
Winners: Sheamus & Big Show

Big Show stares down Cody as Sheamus’ music plays, then they exit triumphant together.

WWE.com will have a huge announcement from the WWE Board of Directors at 10am tomorrow.

Video recap of John Cena’s promo from last week.

The Rock is YOUR main event interview and IT IS NEXT

Commercial Break

Next week: HBK is on Raw!

The Rock comes down to his music and a MASSIVE pop from this crowd in Portland. The Rock soaks in the crowd cheers and Rocky chants. He has to pause a couple extra times due to an overwhelming response – he has goosebumps. He talks about how “some people in the back” took his pledge of being back in the WWE that he would be here every week. That was his job for years and years, but the only reason he’s here now is that he loves the WWE. Without the WWE there would be no Rock. The Rock doesn’t want to talk to John Cena anywhere – he sees him in catering and wants to just slap his face with a piece of Kung Pao Chicken. Huge Rocky Chant. He follows up by calling Cena a Kung Pao Bitch, which the crowd chants for him as well. Rock calls out Cena for fighting for “all the guys in the back” – He calls back to the time when like Cena, he was a babyface who was being booed. Rock namedrops a bunch of guys like Stone Cold and Randy Savage and Roddy Piper, and how they had to fight for themselves like men. While Cena fights for the boys in the back, Rock fights for the fans. Huge Rocky chant. He’s fighting for the people who are tired of having the Kung Pao Bitch shoved down their throat each and every night. Kung Pao Bitch chant resumes. It’s also TRENDING ON TWITTER according to Rock, confirmed by me on Twitter just now. Rock talks about Fruity Pebbles and all of a sudden we see your monkeyass on the box. Fruity Pebbles chant (Rock noted earlier he “loved” this chant). He brings up Lady Parts, and it chants. “Hold on we got half the crowd chanting Rocky and half the crowd chanting Lady Parts, which do you want to chant”. The Rock leads the crowd in a chant of Lady Parts. Then on a count of 3 he has them chant his favorite – and the crowd chants Rocky. We entertain, we innovate. What’s the most innovative thing that John Cena has done? Changed his jeans shorts to camoflauge shorts – and its working because we can’t find your balls anywhere. Crowd chants “Missing Balls” which finally prompts John Cena’s music and out he comes. Cena acting very heelish. He says he’s not here to hang from the People’s Strudel or whatever The Rock’s calling his penis. Much like Kung Pao Chicken, he’s in every chinese restaurant. Turns out Cena is a fan of The Rock but not Duane Johnson the man. He is going to beat Duane’s ass at Wrestlemania and walks out. Rock responses after Cena leaves, saying it’s just like Cena to come out and runs his mouth then run away. Rock says there is no difference between the Rock and Duane Johnson, they are one and the same, and they will kick your ass at Wrestlemania. Amazing segment that goes past 11:20 EST.

Jonathan Widro is the owner and founder of Inside Pulse. Over a decade ago he burst onto the scene with a pro-WCW reporting style that earned him the nickname WCWidro. Check him out on Twitter for mostly inane non sequiturs