THE RAGER! – No Bueno, WWE (The Rock, GM vs. GM, Jerry Lawler, Big Show and Cody Rhodes)

Columns, Top Story

The soundtrack for this week’s THE RAGER is Protest The Hero.

I’m Chris, this is my Twitter, and THIS is THE RAGER!

So Rock Stunk Up the Joint
This week on Monday Night Raw, Rock didn’t cut a promo at all. Instead, what he did was become a cheerleader like he did at last year’s WrestleMania. John Cena has been cutting promos left and right and going into detail about his feelings towards The Rock. What does John get in return? “Hey, I said something childish and insulting but chantable… chant it now, crowd” or “Go make this trend on Twitter.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of Twitter but there’s a time and place. Trying to sell this WrestleMania main event is neither the time nor place. Cena came out in the middle of it and just obliterated everything Rock had just said and did so in a very small fraction of the time of the segment.
It’s no secret that Rock has worn thin on me as of late but on Monday night, I was hoping to at least get a classically awesome Rock promo. But he couldn’t even give us that. He clearly phoned-in that segment and made it to the point where I was more interested in checking in on the towering inferno at Daytona.

It’s Time for Jerry Lawler to Go… Just… Go
This is in response to the sign I saw that called for the firing of Lawler on commentary and I must agree. It’s not enough that he’s getting incredibly more creepy and pervy when it comes to the Divas (namely Rosa Mendes) but the guy just can’t call a match to save his life. I mean, Michael Cole, of all people, is coming off more unbiased. Like I discussed with Joel Leonard, most of the time Cole, Booker T and Josh Matthews have a consistent stance when a wrestler cheats in a match, face or heel. But Jerry switches back and forth on it so much that it’s unbearable anymore. But most of all, the comments he’s making about Rosa Mendes, Kelly Kelly and the vast majority of the women are horrifying. The Raw on February 20th, Lawler said this about Rosa, “I don’t know much about business, but I would like to pursue a merger with her.” HOW IS THAT NOT SEXUAL HARASSMENT?! Who does WWE think they are? TNA? Maybe I’m making a stink over nothing but, my God, that makes me feel icky.

GM vs. GM
I don’t like this. I don’t like this. I. Don’t. Like. This.
We are talking about two men that make me groan uncontrollably anytime they’re in the ring and the two of them bickering just makes it that much more unpleasant. I have this sinking feeling there’s gonna me some sort of match involving the two (a la Vince vs Bret Hart, Ol’ King Cole match) at WrestleMania and I don’t want any part of it. Either that or a tag match (right up Teddy Long’s alley) involving the two plus each of their closest assistance or even a surrogate match where they choose someone from each roster. Anything that involves either of them in or around the ring at WrestleMania is not ok in my book. I’d rather have Snooki back. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I’d rather have Snooki.

Miz lost to Cena in 4 minutes
There’s not really a point here but I just wanted to state that this was the same as the “main event” from last year’s WrestleMania… just sayin’.

Racial Tag teams?
Why not throw in The Usos and get the full experience? And why did Kane inject himself after the match? Is he gonna go for the Tag Championship by himself? Either there’s gonna be some sort of tag match involving all these guys or there will be some sort of Money in the Bank match including all (maybe not Primo and Epico) of them? I hope it’s the latter (ha because it sounds like ladder).

Bad, WWE! Very BAD!
WHY is Cody having a feud with Big Show? He is supposed to be facing Goldust at WrestleMania. I want that, I don’t want Big Show doing anything but catering to whatever celeb gets thrown into the middle of ‘Mania. That being said, I could really get used to some “Cody Rhodes Presents…”

In closing, I’d like to reiterate something: screw The Rock.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,

Chris

The Answer: This Guy

 

Chris is a writer from Fayetteville, NC. He's the co-creator of Irrelevant But Awesome Productions which produces podcasts you all know and love like Classy Ring Attire, Trashy Ring Attire and The Disney Magic Podcast. You can keep up with everything on twitter by following @IBAStudios and @CWSanders39