The Bachelor – The Women Tell All Recap – “Courtney On Trial”

I always find I don’t have a lot to say regarding The Bachelor: The Women Tell All episode because, really, all it is is a bunch of women sitting around and talking. It’s fun to watch and laugh at, but there isn’t much to write about.

Last night’s special certainly was one of the more interesting ones we’ve seen recently, mostly since all the women were foaming at the mouth in anticipation of finally getting to give Courtney a piece of their minds.

They weren’t nice to Courtney, but why should they have been? You reap what you sow, and Courtney got what was coming to her. But before we could witness those dishes of cold revenge being served, we had a lot of other crap to sit through.

I missed the first fifteen minutes of the episode — I know, I was heartbroken too — but from what I gather, we were treated to a preview of this summer’s Bachelor Pad 3. Or footage from a Bachelor reunion, I guess, which is basically the same thing. All I can say is, really, Ali? Ali was never my favorite bachelorette, mostly because of her messy hair and whining, but I did think she’d be above going on Bachelor Pad.

Who do you think will join them from this season? The cast is ripe for the picking. Jenna, Blakeley, Samantha and Monica all definitely fit the bill, and I can see them asking Kacie B. to join to fill the Tenley role – maybe that’s how she meets Ryan Sunshine? And, of course, Bachelor Pad is the perfect place for a girl like Courtney.

Harrison started by trying to talk about Blakeley a little, but the conversation quickly turned to a feud between Samantha and Brittney. I loved how shocked the audience looked when Brittney said she wasn’t attracted to Ben. It was exactly like this one time someone told me they didn’t like pie.

Next Harrison brought out Shawntel, mostly so that certain girls (coughcoughERIKA!) could look uncomfortable while watching clips of themselves being horrible people, and give halfhearted apologies.

Then Emily took the hot seat. It’s really too bad Emily Maynard is going to be the next Bachelorette, because I’m all about this Emily. She was funny and outspoken all night without being too obnoxious. She’s pretty and smart. I find her raps funny. I think she’d be a great bachelorette. I just hope she doesn’t end up on Bachelor Pad – she’s way too good for that show.

Later Harrison talked to Nicki and Kacie, the two most recent brokenhearted gals. Nicki clearly has the confidence to move on, saying “I would never ask him what I did wrong, because I was myself.” At that point Bachelor producers were all like “kthanksbye” and cut to a clip of Kacie sobbing “I don’t know why I’m not good enough!” in the reject limo.

Finally, it was time for the main event – Courtney herself, facing the music. You know she was backstage the whole time rubbing onions under her eyes. In fact, the whole segment was kind of a disappointment. The women had obviously been practicing what they wanted to say to Courtney for weeks, and they weren’t going to let a meager apology from Courtney steal their thunder. So they ripped her a new one, and she cried and apologized. Weak sauce.

There was one moment worth noting, though – towards the end of her segment, Courtney tearfully choked out “I cared for Ben…I still do.” Veeeeery interesting. For those of you who haven’t read any spoilers (I haven’t), are you on board with the theory that Ben chose Courtney but they’ve already broken up? Jamie certainly buys into that notion, because when Ben took the stage she propositioned him even more awkwardly than that infamous attempt at a kiss.

And after a montage of funny moments from the season (I really wish they’d throw a few more of those into the actual episodes), we were done. Are you guys ready for next week’s Most Controversial Finale EVER? Are you ready to kick Ben to the curb and say hello to Emily Maynard?

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