No Chance – WWE GM Fight: There Can Only Be One! (Teddy Long vs. John Laurinaitis)

We all know it’s going to happen. No official match has been announced yet, but we can all see the writing on the wall. Somehow, someway, this whole GM vs. GM storyline is going to result in a match happening at WrestleMania. It getting to be something of a tradition now isn’t it? The Wrester who doesn’t have the rings skills he once did against the guy who probably should have never gotten into the ring in the first place. (I’m looking at you Old King Cole match from last year) And this year is looking to be no different. But is it undoubtedly going to be the worst part of the evening, come April 1st? Probably but it doesn’t have to be. A few things could happen that while they probably won’t save the whole segment could help to make it more bearable.

Looking at similar matches from the past two years a common trend is happening. Both in the Old King Cole match and the Vince/Bret match before it, there was a really interesting and entertaining storyline that resulted in a terrible match when the contestants finally got in the ring with each other. Twice now, Johnny Ace has been thrown to the mat, once by CM Punk and once by Teddy on this past SmackDown, and in both cases his empty eyed, deadpan look gave no indication that he was trying to sell a move at all. So a less than stellar match is to be expected. But we could avoid all of that by simply having real wrestlers fight for the GMs. We’ve had representatives fight before with the Battle of the Billionaires so it’s nothing new. And while that will most likely result in a David Otunga vs. Santino match at WrestleMania, that’s still a better option than Teddy Long and Johnny Ace actually coming to blows in the ring.

Or better yet, treat the possibility of one universal GM like the big deal that it theoretically should be. Get a whole bunch of wrestlers involved who would all be affected if this were a real way to decide on a boss. With half of the main event being made up of part time (or less than that) wrestlers and the Money in the Bank match canceled, this would be a way you could actually get some of your weekly talent on the stage. Have guys declare who they want to fight for and then sort it all out in a battle royale or an elimination tag team match.

Above all, please don’t let Teddy win. I know that will be the obvious choice, what with him being the face and it being a feel good moment for the PPV but please thing of the long term repercussions if Teddy Long stars appearing on both Raw and SmackDown. I detailed my personal complaints about the guy in a earlier column so I won’t go in to too much detail here but in a company full of people who are only kept around for their wrestling skills, Long still manages to be one of the worst actors on payroll. The important problem that will result from making Teddy Long the GM of both shows is that we won’t have a heel in charge. Forcing a wrestler to deal with a mean, unfair boss, in one of the easiest and most effective ways to get support for a babyface. Without that we’re just going to have week after week of this heel or that heel complaining that Long is treating him unfairly which won’t be far from the truth.

Unrelated Thought: Can anybody tell me the name of this new movie that Edge has? I had a disagreement with a friend last week over if the movie was called Bending the Rules or Breaking the Rules. So to settle it we patiently waited until the next episode of Raw where we were sure the whole thing would be hyped all over again. And we were right, because this graphic appeared on the screen but it turns out it didn’t help very much. If WWE can’t even bring themselves to care anymore, then I think that’s everybody. Yep, 100% of the world doesn’t care about WWE films now.

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