No Chance – My WWE WrestleMania 28 Wish List

Columns, Top Story

As far as a WrestleMania wish list goes, you may have who you want to win what match, or maybe a surprise return that you’re hoping to see. I have that too but that all comes second to what a really hope for. Just a few small things that need to happen to make WrestleMania a success this year.

Let the Main event have a clean finish: If I could change one of the many, many things that were wrong about WrestleMania 27, it would be the lackluster ending to the final match of the evening. Ending everything with an interference just left a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. You can imagine how much worse it will be if the same thing happens, not only the second year in a row, but after a year of buildup to that match. Rock or Cena, I don’t care who wins, I just want them to win without any outside help. The worst part about this is that it’s easy to believe that WWE might be planning for this to happen. A disgruntled Miz could interrupt the match leading once again to a dreaded double count-out ending. Or even worse, another rumor that I’ve seen floating around the internet, involves Zack Ryder turning heel and attacking Cena in exchange for Friends With Benefits status with Eve. There’s a storyline that I don’t even want to see on Raw, much less getting mixed in the middle of the main event of WrestleMania. Again, whoever wins is not important. It’s just important that they win without question.

Don’t have the streak end to a reunited DX: I don’t expect the streak to end this close to twenty, but it wouldn’t ruin the show for me if Triple H wins. What would however, is if Triple H wins thanks to blatant, over the top favoritism from the ref, and we end the match with lots of crotch chops from everybody, over Taker’s beaten body. While I’m firmly in the camp that the streak should be broken before the Undertaker retires, not only will this ending have no long term value, it could actually cheapen the importance of the streak overall to see the whole thing be brought down by a biased referee.

Don’t have Natalya fart at any point: I really want to ask for No more farting storyline ever, but I’m trying to set the bar low here. WrestleMania isn’t just a run of the mill, weekly episode of SmackDown. It’s a big deal, or at least it’s supposed to be. A some point I will more that likely to be shelling out hard earned money to own this event on DVD. I don’t want that to mean that I will be paying for footage of Natalya farting. And I don’t just mean in the ring with whatever “fart-shooter” move that I’m sure this whole thing is going to lead too. I’m talking about backstage segments as well. No farting.

Give The Miz a spot on the card before WrestleMania: If this doesn’t happen before April 1st, I will spend the whole evening waiting for him to interrupt the main event. Anything that can convince me that won’t happen would be appreciated.

Don’t let Teddy Long or John Laurinaitis in the ring: As an idea, GMs fighting for control could be a very cool storyline. The only problem is that it involves GMs fighting. The fact that each GM is putting together a representative team was a great way to get around actually seeing these two resort to feeble blows in the middle of the ring, but just because they won’t be on the card, doesn’t mean that one or both of them won’t climb in the ring to try and help there team out. Please do not let this happen. We’re so close to having this storyline result in an exciting match, and that would be the fastest way to ruin it.

Give the title matches a decent amount of time: I know that this year the two biggest matches are grudge matches, and that the Heavyweight championship will once again most likely open the show, but don’t forget that you have four solid competitors competing for titles, titles that theoretically would be the things wrestlers want more than anything else in the world. So give each of these matches a reasonable amount of time to play out.  You have the talent, to put on two really great matches and frankly I would much rather see those than see someone get quickly squashed in a title match so that Cena or The Rock has more time to wave to the crowd while entrance music is playing.

Unrelated thought: While guessing who might finish filling out Team Teddy, it was pointed out to me that Evan Bourne’s suspension would be up in time for WrestleMania thus he was a possibility, however I had all but written Bourne off at this point as wasn’t even considering him. But it caused me to wonder. What if anything would WWE have Bourne do once he could return to the ring? Any chance of Air Boom is long gone, any nobody is really hanging around just waiting for a tag team partner. They could still use him for one amazing spot per year, but unless something drastic or amazing happens, I don’t know when we might see him in the ring again.

Joel Leonard reviews the latest movies each week for Inside Pulse. You can follow him @joelgleo on Twitter though he's not promising to ever tweet anything from there. Joel also co-hosts the Classy Ring Attire podcast and writes the No Chance column on Inside Pulse as well.