10 Thoughts on WWE Smackdown! 3.30.2012 — Wrestlemania 28 Hype, Chris Jericho, Big Show, and not much else

See, they told me I was crazy, and I never believed it until today. Because only a crazy person would decide that the Smackdown before ‘Mania was a good time to come back from a hiatus. Did I remember what happened last year? Nope. Sure didn’t. Oh well, it’s good to be back!

Since there were only two matches, and one in-ring promo that didn’t seem to serve a purpose, I’m going to have to throw some thoughts together. Maybe I’ll offer my Wrestlemania 28 opinions, since I’m absent from the Roundtable. Maybe I’ll tell the fun stories from when ‘Mania was in Arizona two years ago. Maybe I’ll talk about my feelings and what’s been making me feel sad lately. Ha! No, actually, I don’t have feelings. So you’re good.

1. We kicked off the show with a bout I actually enjoyed. I’ve always really liked Zack Ryder’s shenanigans. The match itself dragged in spots, but both men really packed some punch when it picked up. Overall, not bad.

2. Fan Axxess looks essentially the same as it always does, but there were a few things I saw that I liked. For example, that ring full of foam that the little kid jumped into…looks like a hell of a lot of fun, especially if you add alcohol. Also, the Money in the Bank section would be awesome! Though, I’m petrified of ladders, I’d man up for a few moments to scale that thing.

3. I’ll share my excitement here, since Gojira wasn’t too receptive yesterday about it but…seeing the BFF Women’s Championship Belt that LayCool had created made me giddy! I don’t know why I loved those girls so much, because you can bet I would be picking a fight with anyone who acted like them at a bar. But damn it, they made my heart sing.

4. You know, I want to complain about Maria Meno-whatever is competing at Wrestlemania in lieu of a legitimate Diva’s title match, but hell. It’s a giant, moon-leap up from Snooki’s ridiculousness.

5. The only other match was between Chris Jericho and Kofi Kingston. I think I liked this more than I was expecting to. Jericho is…well, Jericho, so that speaks for itself. Kofi…I love that dude. He’s exciting to watch. And we have a special bond from the two times we’ve met. But that’s a whole big story for a different day.

6. Actually, I’ll tell it now, since I’m running out of thoughts. In January of 2010, Kofi Kingston did a signing. I owned the DVD of Bragging Rights since it was the only PPV I had missed in a few years, thanks to a seasonal job. So I brought it for him to sign, which he did, and he told me all kinds of stories of how hard he “hit his head on the mat that night!” while I laughed and chatted. Then I looked at him and asked a favor. I had this weird thing I did with all the sports bar promotional posters for the PPVs that I decided to take home…draw a mustache on Cena. A kind way of defacing his picture, if you will. So I explained that to Kofi and asked if HE would draw a mustache on Cena. His reply was, “…can I draw a beard, too?” in a very excited tone. So I held up the line for a few more minutes as Kofi drew a mustache, beard, black eye, mohawk, drool…

7. Just like I’m sure a lot of others do, I usually look forward to the non-main event matches at PPVs since I get sick of the hype for the others. But today, I’m REALLY looking forward to Jericho/Punk and Bryan/Sheamus. I think all four involved are just tremendous wrestlers, and are capable of putting on a damn good show. Everyone expects the Heavyweight Championship to pale in comparison to the others, but I think if people can look past the hype, they’ll see something amazing.

8. Anyone still with me? Anyone? Bueller?

9. Now I want to give my (possibly controversial) opinion on The Rock and Cena. I am rooting for John Timothy Cena (note: fake middle name added for dramatic effect) and that is surprising for me. I think it’s because that, beyond all the shit I generally dislike about him, he really bleeds the business and makes his passion for it very obvious. But when you look at his opponent, a man who walked away years ago for greener pastures, you don’t see that. All you see is the nostalgia, and the greatness that was. I not have an issue had he put in the proper time for it, but showing up every once in a while to chat and flex doesn’t cut it for me. The entire thing just feels…fake to me. And I hate using the “f” word with wrestling. Whatever, it’s one match. When it’s done, it’s done. And we can move on.

10. All in all, I’m looking forward to Wrestlemania tonight. WWE has really diminished in appeal for me in recent months, and I have found that I don’t get excited about much that they do. But come on. This is Wrestlemania. Maybe they’ll win back my heart. Or, the thing sitting in my chest emulating a heart.

Thanks for reading! If you made it this far, you’re either really bored or really crazy. Either way, I thank you.

Make sure you check out what Goji and I thought while watching this show. The show may have been boring, but we sure aren’t. And definitely check out the monstrous Roundtable for tonight!

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