The Wrestling Backfire: True and False Gets Extreme, Edition #2

Yes! Yes! Yes! Joe Violet and yours truly are back this week for The Wrestling Backfire’s second edition of True or False. This True or False is different from the previous ones because today we’re getting EXTRREEEEMMMEMEEEEEEEE!

To see if you’re ready for the extreme edition of True or False, you must watch two videos. If you make it through both videos, you are ready. If not, run away from the pain before Schiavone gets his gun.

Oh…..the….pain. Are you sure you can handle it? Are you sure you want to continue? You can still turn back.

Congratulations, you made it. You are surely ready to read this.

The three hour Monday Night Raw was a good idea.

Joe Violet: FalseMost of the show was dedicated to showing how Brock Lesnar used to be dominant, which was a smart idea. However, the payoff with the contract signing wasn’t worth burning a three-hour show for. All it did was put more overbooking into a feud which had enough booking as it stood. It all was obviously build-up for Extreme Rules, but I believe that if you’re going to extend your timeslot for something special, it needs to end and/or include something HUGE…and I just didn’t get that feeling from this week’s Raw.

Kyle Fitta: False.  The original plan for this show was supposed the annual 3 hour inter-brand draft special, but WWE decided to cancel the draft. That would’ve been fine if they dropped the extra hour or came up with some special gimmick, but they decided not to do that and gave us this mother fucking train-wreck. The show was basically a 2 hour Raw stretched further than Missy Hyatt’s vagina.

Heading into this show, Extreme Rules’ build was great. The WWE needs to realize sometimes it’s better to hit singles than try for a Matt Kemp home run. The sobriety test made CM Punk and Chris Jericho look like Kaz and Black Reign wrestling for a rat on a mother fucking pole. They just tried to swerve us for the sake of swerving us without putting any thought process into the segment. How did CM Punk know that Long would give him another chance to pass when the cops left? And since the cops stated that Punk was drunk, why did Teddy give Punk ANOTHER chance? CM Punk put his title in jeopardy just to fool us and Jericho. Who’s booking this Gary the retard from Howard Stern?

I said last week that Lesnar needs to speak very little on live television, and use taped segments for the majority of his promos. It worked perfectly last week. And what do they do this week?  They have him talk for a loooooooooooooooooonnnnng time live. What was the result? A long-winded, fucking boring ass promo (EXACTLY like CM Punk’s list of demands speech from not even a year ago, but with less entertainment value) which only served to remind us how much Brock Lesnar’s voice sounds like Bobby Lashley with beef curtains. There was some decent stuff on the show, but seriously, fuck the three hour Raw; it was a no good piece of Vince McMahon’s taint.

Showing Lesnar beat Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan, and Kurt Angle was a jab at TNA.

Joe Violet: False. All three wins represented  key moments of Lesnar’s WWE career. Winning against Hardy established him as a dominant monster. Winning against Hogan made him a credible threat to ANYONE. Winning against Angle made him a legitimate champion. Also, implying that this was a jab to TNA would also imply that they see TNA as a threat, which I don’t think they do. If that were the case, they might have shown EVERY TNA star that Lesnar’s beaten, which would mean they would have also included Lesnar’s win against Flair.

Kyle Fitta: True. WWE knows its superior to Tits ‘N Ass and S.E.X in every way. They will never mention a company that makes sense only if you snort a line before you watch it, but they’re not above making the odd subtle jab at TNA. Yes, Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle’s wins were all important in Lesnar’s career, but he had many others they could’ve shown as well. If it was Jeff Hardy, someone else, Hulk Hogan, someone else and then Kurt Angle, I would say false. Since they were all in chronological order without anyone even before or after,I’m going with true. It’s true. It’s fuck-sex-tape-ing true, brother. Now where’s the meth so things can get really extreme!? Or… maybe WWE’s true cerebral assassin, Vince Russo, whose secret mission was to secretly destroy both WWE’s rivals (WCW and TNA), is sending indications that he’s booking for WWE again.  The sobriety test segment has me wondering.

The build and matches on paper at Extreme Rules look better than WrestleMania’s build and matches.

Joe Violet: True. As I said earlier, WrestleMania put all of its eggs into two baskets, with HHH/Taker and Rock/Cena. Extreme Rules, on the other hand, seems more evenly-built up and down the card. This month’s PPV also has one thing going for it that WrestleMania didn’t: the Bryan effect. At WrestleMania, Bryan came in as a champion whom we all wanted to see fall. Now that he has, and not in the matter that fans wanted, it’s inspired a response in fans similar to that created by Austin/Hart at WM 13, except it’s not in the matter WWE wanted it. These factors are making for a better PPV (potentially) than WrestleMania.

Kyle Fitta: True. Or I should say YES! YES! YES! Aside from Undertaker vs. Triple H, I wasn’t looking forward to WrestleMania. Don’t get me wrong, I was looking forward to both CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho and The Rock vs. John Cena a lot, but the booking killed it for me in Chris Benoit some-guy-I-cannot-mention fashion. Jericho didn’t seem like a threat to the title and the booking was too much. They had it right the first time by doing the “Best in the World” stuff. It made sense to have to wrestlers claiming themselves to be the best in the world battling out for the biggest title that would solidify you as the best wrestler in the world. Instead, they added in the Jerry Springer shit and made it “personal” and it overshadowed the best in the world gimmick. Meanwhile, The Rock and John Cena angle was going steady until they tried killing every last gasp kayfabe has left. And let’s not forget the stuuuuuuppid attempt to make the crowd split in fucking Rock’s hometown, watering down Rock’s promos and making him look like a Kung Pao Idiot. The match itself didn’t feel as if it had any purpose to it. It felt like a special attraction and not a main event.

This month, however, the main event of John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar has a purpose. Cena is the hardworking, pro-WWE guy whose passion was always for wrestling (aside from body building, but don’t say a fucking word about that and forget I mentioned it!), while Lesnar is there just for money. There’s also a definitive reason why Lesnar dislikes Cena and that is because Lesnar believes Cena took his spot when he left. When you add (who am I kidding, wrestling fans can’t do math) all that up and throw on the intriguing Cena losing streak to boot, you have a very credible main event. Also, CM Punk and Chris Jericho are going to have a heated brawl in front of a crowd that should be roaring and the match has strong build behind it (even if the last Raw segment was weak), Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan 2 out of 3 falls match could be a classic affair – assuming that the two get given some time to wrestle at last. It seems like they will  because the stipulation demands it and they finally have some heat (something they didn’t have at WrestleMania except Sheamus’ fire crotch).  Won’t lie, I’m not looking forward to Kane vs. Orton, but it should be better with a stipulation attached to it. The same goes for the Rhodes and Big Show match too. Gimmick stipulations seem to always help WWE wrestlers put on a better match than normal, and there’s no added filler to this show (until they decided to add in CM Punk’s boyfriend vs. Daniel Bryan’s girlfriend) whatsoever. If you don’t order this show and ordered WrestleMania, that’s fauckcking bulllsshiitt!

The Miz vs. Santino match before Extreme Rules on YouTube is a bad idea.

Joe Violet: True. WWE has attempted to use social media for a while now as a platform to promote itself. That’s a smart idea, but its execution is flawed. They counted on the success of Zack Ryder’s show on YouTube to be a measuring stick of how their programming would work on this particular outlet. The flaw, however, is that it wasn’t WWE that fans were watching… it was Ryder. Add that to the fact that this match was just thrown together, and it’s a title match, and this all screams of “bad idea” in my opinion.

Kyle Fitta: True. What the fuck is the point of this? Is there not enough TV time during the week or time on the PPV itself? If this is a last-ditch effort to get people to buy this show, why would they show this match? The Miz or the COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA is extreme? Fuck no. If it was up to me, I’d put two wrestlers out there who can work an extreme calibre match and then have the announcers say, “If you thought that was awesome,  wait until what’s going to be on this PPV!” I mean come fucking on! A match that’s no different from a match anyone could see on Raw isn’t going to make people want to order this show. And why the hell is it on YouTube? The people who ACTUALLY order the show have to go online to see this match? If they don’t have internet, they’re more fucked than a company that has Bobby Roode as their champion? At the very fucking least, put some effort into a YouTube show that really hypes up these matches with 100 per cent less of that generic preview guy who makes listening to Michael Cole sound like a Megan Fox orgasm in comparison.

The rumor is Brock Lesnar will face Randy Orton at Summerslam. This is the best match WWE could do for Summerslam.

Joe Violet: I’m in the middle on this one, but I’m leaning more toward true. If Lesnar is beating Cena at Extreme Rules, which seems to be the route we’re looking at, then Orton seems to be the next logical step. For a long time now, it’s been Cena and Orton in the spotlight of the upper echelon of WWE. Orton’s been stuck in this abysmal feud with Kane, only because someone might have wondered how well the two characters would gel… with questionable results. With the rumors of this match running around, it makes Lesnar/Cena and Orton/Kane a pair of foregone conclusions. If they go this route, then Orton/Lesnar makes sense… IF they’re going to continue to book Lesnar as this invincible ass-kicker. If not, then they should book Lesnar/Punk, in my opinion.

Kyle Fitta: FalseI don’t consider Randy “Headlock” Orton even a top guy anymore. The WWE had a chance to turn him into an Austin-like character, but either they didn’t know or just didn’t execute it properly. Of course, they can build him up to the top again, but I don’t want to see it happen. CM Punk is superior to Randy Orton in every way. It would also be extremely poetic if CM Punk was the guy that everyone in the back depended on to stop Lesnar’s dominance, since Punk was in a similar position last year to the one that Lesnar’s in now. Punk’s mic skills, as always, could carry the load of this feud a lot further than Orton’s bland promos could, and Lesnar vs. Orton on paper doesn’t sound like a wrestling wet dream match while CM Punk and Brock Lesnar sounds like a perfect Summerslam treat for wrestling fans. Spin the wheel, make the switch.

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