It’s that time of the year, folks, when the WWE’s purses get tighter than your sister before I get through with her and they inevitably let go of the proverbial dead weight. It’s Spring Cleaning, and while there haven’t been many rumblings about who is likely to get their pink slip, it falls on yours truly to make some informed decisions about the likelihood of some of your favorite superstars getting shit-canned.
This poor guy went to the pot well once too often, and on top of that, he broke his foot in damn near EVERY conceivable place you could break your foot. Rumors swirled about how Triple H is not fond of him as a talent back in November and Bourne is one strike away from saying hello to TNA. You be the judge.
Likelihood: All signs point to yes.
Apart from teaming with Tyler Reks and popping up here and there on Ryder’s Youtube show, what the hell has Hawkins actually done? A stint on the longest-running episodic season of NXT isn’t a bright spot when you consider the fact that NXT was designed to showcase WWE rookies…and Hawkins is a former Tag Team Champion who has been with the company for years!
Likelihood: Not long for this world.
He earned a shot in the annual Survivor Series match in 2010 for no other reason than to allow the WWE to fuck over Low Ki…and disappeared. He’s a white guy with dreads and his name, when shortened, is T. Reks (get it?). Other than that, he hasn’t even registered as a blip on the WWE’s radar. The fact that he and Hawkins were “kayfabe” fired from NXT is more foreshadowing than anything I could come up with.
Mahal was brought in to feud with the Great Khali, which was clearly what everyone wanted, right? Right? His two-minute matches revealed just how green he was and he disappeared for a bit. Mahal returned to feud with Ted DiBiase and that fizzled. Then he was fed to Sheamus to keep the Great White occupied for two weeks. I get that the WWE wants to make money in India, but are Khali and Mahal really the best that the country has to offer?
Likelihood: Strong possibility.
Poor Sin Cara Negro. The only reason Hunico even got the job in the WWE was because of the poor timing of Sin Cara’s Wellness Policy violation. His unmasking feud with the true Sin Cara was a flop and his angle with DiBiase was dropped thanks to Ted’s growing list of injuries. We barely see Hunico on Smackdown anymore (which makes Kelly Floyd a sad panda). Is there hope for this high flyer?
Likelihood: A scant possibility, but Creative might truly have nothing for him.
This goofball never caught my attention, as I’ve brought up many times in the past, including the first-ever column I wrote here on Pulse. Look it up; I don’t feel like linking you to it now. In any case, Slater’s “altercation” with Flo Rida seems to be his last hope. If he doesn’t get canned, he’ll be cannon fodder for the next couple of years.
Likelihood: I’ve got a better chance of growing than he does of sticking around.
Whenever the WWE has to force a face turn, you know you’re in troubled waters. I’m not buying the whole “DiBiase Posse” bit and his lukewarm reactions showed the crowd didn’t either. Now he’s hurt (again) which is unfortunate because he was starting to show a lot of promise in the ring.
Likelihood: Not bloody likely. He’s a third generation wrestler and therefore has a lot of pull thanks to family association.
The only thing keeping this guy afloat is Vickie Guerrero. His partner Dolph Ziggler is way more talented and better on the mic. The WWE made a mistake when they gave him a World title run and they realized it. That’s why he’s been relegated to transitional champ status (see his last United States Championship run for further details).
Likelihood: He has a unique skill set which sets him apart from the rest of the roster, but with guys like Antonio Cesaro and Ryback around, he may have outlived his usefulness.
What. The. Fuck? Drew was pushed to the moon upon his debut, but things soured for him when he was drafted to Raw. I thought it was a new beginning for McIntyre, but he showed up (I believe) once and disappeared into obscurity. The losing streak gimmick did nothing for him and he was quickly “re-hired” by John Laurinaitis. Apparently he was set to have a new gimmick….and once again he has disappeared. Drew has a lot of talent but just hasn’t been given the chance to showcase it.
Likelihood: His Scottish background notwithstanding, I don’t see a bright future for him.
Truth’s career changed for the better when he turned heel by attacking John Morrison, and then took a turn for the bizarre when he started hearing “voices.” There’s no doubt his strange ramblings are entertaining on the mic, but he’s sort of just been “there.” I would have pegged him for one of those “shocking” future endeavors, but he just won the Tag Team Championship with Kofi Kingston, so…..
Likelihood: Truth just got a reprieve.
The last-ever ECW Champion and the guy who resurrected the Torture Rack has been jobbing like a mother fucker for MONTHS. When you’ve got a big, imposing strongman on your wrestling program and you use HIM to put OTHERS over, things aren’t looking good.
Likelihood: We’ve got enough big men in the company. Big Zeke might be looking at greener pastures.
If you’ve been watching Ryder’s Youtube show, you’ll notice the Barretta sightings that have appeared consistently week after week. That’s the most I’ve seen of the guy in about a year.
Likelihood: If you’re not going to even use Trent as a jobber, let him earn a paycheck elsewhere.
I don’t believe I’ve EVER seen him win a match. He’s recently griped about Lord Tensai, but he withdrew his Tweet the other day. Was it legit? Was he asked to delete it? Does anyone think a feud with Tensai will do wonders for his career?
Likelihood: The Land of the Rising Sun looks pretty good right about now.
So they broke up Cryme Tyme and turned him heel…..for what, exactly? He wrestles on Superstars and NXT. He jobs to Brodus Clay. Come back home to Brooklyn, bud. We’ll treat you right.
Likelihood: I don’t like his chances.
I’m sure there are others I haven’t quite thought about yet. And yes, I’m aware that the WWE does in fact need jobbers and not all of the wrestlers I listed above are in danger of losing their jobs, but you have to wonder how the company goes about deciding who’s worth keeping around. Throw in your two cents in the comments below. Is there anyone I missed? Anyone I listed that you disagree with?
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Tags: curt hawkins, Drew McIntyre, evan bourne, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater, hunico, jack swagger, Jinder Mahal, JTG, Mike Gojira, R-Truth, ted dibiase, Trent Barretta, Tyler Reks, WWE, yoshi tatsu