Preshow: Zack Ryder vs Kane
Steven Gepp: Come on! The only way Ryder could conceivably beat Kane is if 10 or 20 other JTTS-es from FCW or NXT attack and help with the beat down, thus kicking off that epic ‘young blood’ vs ‘ old established guys’ feud that worked sooooo well for WCW in 2000-1.
Winner: Kane
Rhett Davis: So I guess this is a monthly thing eh? Well at least… nope can’t quite find the upside to this. I mean, we have Ryder vs Kane. Who cares about this match? Sure give this to us back in February or March and maybe. But now it’s May. This is months too late and with no real spark to bring this feud back to the forefront. So boo and is anyone really going to YouTube to see this? Really? Anyways, Kane destroys Ryder.
Winner: Kane
M.C. Brown: Ryder has been rendered meaningless. Kane Smash.
Winner: Kane
Mike Gojira: Great job furthering this angle, WWE (that was a bit of smarkasm). I don’t quite understand how they expect people to care about a pre-show that’s free which MIGHT entice them to buy the whole PPV if they don’t hype the match besides the obligatory, “Oh, by the way, there’s a dark match on Youtube.” Without some sort of gimmick or last-minute stipulation, I don’t buy a Zack Ryder victory. He’s been booked to look more pathetic than ever.
Winner: Kane
CB: Welllllll it’s the pre-showwwwwww, it’s the big bad pre-showwwww tonightttt. I miss Big Show already!
Winner: Kane
Layla (c) vs Beth Phoenix
Divas Championship
Steven Gepp: I don’t care what other say, Layla is not a good wrestler. The only good ‘wrestlers’ in WWE’s women’s division are Nattie, Beth and, in theory, Kharma. But the good wrestlers are relegated to farting and losing and crying, so I see a disappointing outcome here.
Winner: Layla
Rhett Davis: Well. Layla is back. That’s something. Beth is injured? Or something. And well. Layla needs legitimacy. So we’ll go with her winning by a roll-up.
Winner (and STILL Divas Champion): Layla
M.C. Brown: Any other Diva outside of Kharma defeating Beth Phoenix is not believable. While Layla like others have worked hard to be taken as a credible contender, Beth is just too far a cut above the rest to be even upset by a barbie doll. I even like Layla, but not over Beth in a match. A Natalya/Beth feud could have had legs, but they dropped that ball a while ago.
Winner(and New Champion): Beth Phoenix
Mike Gojira: Let me get this straight: the original plan was for Beth to have a kayfabed injury to keep her away from a rampaging Kharma who, over a year ago, decreed that she would murder the Bella Twins. Well, the Bellas have come and gone and now Layla, who I think is decent, is champ in Kharma’s place. I really hope the rumors aren’t true about how Creative has no plans for her, because that’s just absurd. Where was I? Oh yeah. Layla probably retains.
Winner: Layla
CB: I think Layla was just a placeholder champ so Beth could heal up. Beth wins and we FINALLY get a Beth-Kharma program.
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Kofi Kingston and Truth (c) vs Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger
Tag Team Championship
Steven Gepp: At least, when motivated, all 4 of these guys can actually do things in the ring. Still, thrown-together teams do not a tag division make. At least this one should be fun.
Winner: Ziggler/Swagger
Rhett Davis: This should be a quick entertaining match. So are we just putting Kofi with random druggies until he gets caught with it or are we just being lazy and throwing random teams together? Well regardless of the reason, this team seemed hastily put together when they started teaming together and I’d love to see Zig Swag win the gold if for nothing else just to give them something else to do. However, they just won the titles so sorry Zig Swag. Not to mention there are more possibilities for opponents with R-Boom as they have Titus/Young, Primo/Epico, and Zig Swag.
Winners (and STILL WWE Tag Team Champions): R-Boom
M.C. Brown: I can’t believe Ziggler and Swagger are still teaming up.
Winners: Boom Truth
CB: So we have R-Boom against Los Non-Guerreros. I think Truth and Kofi win with help from Little Jimmy, of course.
Winner: R-Boom
John Cena vs John Laurinaitis
Steven Gepp: Don’t care. Nope. I really don’t. Expecting Big Show, Brock, Heyman and the entire Los Angeles Dragons Australian Football team to do ran-ins and interfere outrageously because we have already established that no interference will be tolerated or allowed.
Winner: Sting (who comes down from the rafters, kills both guys with a baseball bat, while wearing a Blue Blazer costume in a final FU to Martha Hart, and then pins them both, as counted by HHH, who is the special guest referee they have when special guest referees aren’t allowed)
Rhett Davis: So this match is happening. When will they realize that no one cares about a Johnny Ace match? They tried this with Punk and it didn’t work. Just because it’s Cena doesn’t mean it’s going to be better. Big Show was fired on Monday… so I can see this going two ways. Either Big Show helps Johnny Ace as a favor to him for his job back and returns as a relunctant heel. (re: HBK to JBL) Or Big Show could actually return to help Cena and then Brock levels the field leading to Ace winning. Either way, Johnny Ace wins due to adding all of the stipulations Monday.
Winner: John Laurinaitis
M.C. Brown: If Ace’s life is on the line, then it’s Big Show who helps. They could even go Tensai than Big Show for the “supposed” save, only to turn on John. The Cena John, that is. Cena is coming off the big Lesnar win and can afford the screwjob.
Winner: Johnny Ace
CB: As I speculated earlier today, SOMEONE will interfere in this match to cost Cena and save Big Johnny’s job. It could be anyone from Brock Lesnar or Vince McMahon to Lord Tensai or Kevin Nash, but in these situations WWE almost always goes for the most obvious and predictable choice. In this case, that choice will be the recently fired Big Show, who will save Big Johnny so that he can be reinstated on Raw.
Winner: John Laurinaitis
Sheamus (c) vs Randy Orton vs Jericho vs Alberto del Rio
World Heavyweight Championship
Steven Gepp: This is a tough one to call. I reckon they could all do it. And I’m actually looking forward to this one. I was debating with a mate as to whether it would have been better elimination rules, but we decided no, a clusterf**k is definitely the way to go. Strangely looking forward to this one.
Winner: Jericho
Rhett Davis: This match could actually be fun and looks a lot better than the originally planned Sheamus/Del Rio match. This could be a way to get the title off of Sheamus, but really… why would they at this point? He’s only had the title since ‘Mania and he is currently getting shipped to the top tier. Sheamus wins by hitting the Brogue Kick on Del Rio for the win.
Winner (and STILL World Heavyweight Champion): Sheamus
M.C. Brown: Sheamus wins the title. Everybody is talking about Bryan. Nice job, WWE. It’s easy to not make a Champion look weak losing in these matches and the title could use a fresh face back on top.
Winner(and New Champion): Chris Jericho
CB: Since Orton’s face is on the Over The Limit cover and he scored an emphatic show-closing RKO on Sheamus after Sheamus rolled him up to get the pin in what was a PPV-quality match on SmackDown!, I have a feeling that Orton and Sheamus are both *NOT* going to win here. Since he’s come back to WWE, Chris Jericho really hasn’t done anything “world-changing” as we know it, despite having a solid feud that put CM Punk over. It’s Y2J’s turn to get some “thanks for coming back” gold around his waist, plus I think he’d be a good heel champ for a couple of months and feud with both Orton and Sheamus before he drops the belt around SummerSlam time so Fozzy can go on tour.
Winner: Chris Jericho
CM Punk (c) vs Daniel Bryan
WWE Championship
Steven Gepp: Please, WWE! Give them 30 minutes and tell them to go out there and just tear the house down… Actually, I don’t think they will. I reckon this is part one of a long series, and part two will be an iron-man match, part three will be some stipulation match, part four will be a submissions-only match and the final blow-off will just be the ROH-like extravaganza work-rate junkies (like me) are hanging out for. However, I have the horrid feeling that Punk will win in 3.3 seconds.
Winner: Bryan
Rhett Davis: This match could/should be a MOTY candidate. I’m getting a stream merely just to see this. What else is there to really say about this? Let’s hope they get an hour considering there are only five matches. I just don’t see Bryan being the guy who ends Punks lengthy streak as champion. Punk wins barely.
Winner (and STILL WWE Champion): CM Punk
M.C. Brown: Potential Match of the Year if given the proper time which by all rights absolutely should here. Enough Said.
Winner: CM Punk
CB: Forget match of the night, this should be a candidate for match of the year (barely losing out to Undertaker-Triple H at WrestleMania when all is said and done). I know Punk and Bryan have a lot of history to play off of, so I am ***HOPING*** the announcers don’t screw this up since they have so much material to draw from. Hell, let JR and Regal call the match as a way of promoting the new NXT, and with Regal being Bryan’s mentor and JR being JR, that would make for AWESOME commentary. As for the match, I think AJ Lee plays a huge part in costing Bryan the match here, after a bunch of believable near-falls and amazing in-ring action. Therefore…
Winner: CM Punk
Final Thoughts
Steven Gepp: On paper, this feels like a 2-match card… but those matches should be very, very good. I just hope – hope beyond hope! – that WWE has actually looked at TNA and doesn’t go and screw everything up with too-cute booking and senseless swerves. I so want to like this PPV, I so want to be able to watch wrestling with a sense of enjoyment again. And for the first time in 3 years, nearly all the best PPV matches have come from WWE. I see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Please don’t let it be the headlight of an oncoming freight train.
Rhett Davis: Well there is a lot of room for add-ins with only 5 matches announced for the card. I could easily see another Brodus squash/dance-along, Ryback squash, Antonio Cesaro squash, or a possible Cody/Santino champion vs champion match. Altogether it looks like it could be an okay show with Bryan/Punk and the fatal-4-way matches looking the most promising.
Mike Gojira: I hear people say this constantly: “Why should I pay to see Punk vs Bryan when we got it for free three weeks in a row?” Honestly, I don’t consider those encounters to be “matches” per se because they all ended questionably. It’s a shame that we’re getting this marquee match-up on an otherwise lackluster PPV, because I’m not spending $65 for the other crap. Yes, I’m currently jaded. How can you tell?
CB: Not the worst card in the world, and I’m sure there will be a couple of filler matches and a couple of filler segments to flesh out the PPV. Like everyone else, I’d be fine with Punk-Bryan and the Fatal Four Way BOTH going 45-60 minutes and not having any filler segments or matches, but I doubt that will be the case. This could be a decent show with two solid title matches and a guaranteed swerve at the end of the Ace-Cena match, but I don’t see this being a must-buy PPV either for the price WWE charges these days. Maybe if gas goes down to $0.97 per gallon like it was at the Sunoco station when Tony Soprano was driving through New Jersey during The Sopranos’ opening theme, but not in this economy, that’s for sure.
