So I was thinking about what I should write about this week, and I couldn’t really come up with one full-length topic that would satiate the appetites of all 3 of my readers and/or fulfill my non-contractual obligation to this site.
But since I’m always on time and have yet to take a single week off, you’ll get another load of random thoughts similar to what I posted around this time last year. Yes, the previous sentence was a link; go ahead and click on it.
1. Word on the street is that Randy Orton is NOT well-liked by management.
2. If I had to choose between Dolph Ziggler or Kofi Kingston for a main event push, I’d choose Dolph.
3. Ziggler has the passion, drive, charisma, and dedication to make it to the top of this business. He’s come a loooong way from introducing himself to everyone backstage.
4. I don’t think Zack Ryder will ever get his United States Championship rematch.
5. Zack’s role is officially comic relief, a la Santino, but at least that guarantees job security.
6. Jack Swagger is a waste of space. Even when he was on ECW, I saw nothing special about him. Just a Kurt Angle clone.
7. Where is my Drew McIntyre push?
8. To all the AJ haters (basically, Kelly): time to eat some crow.
9. That’s AJ Lee, not AJ Styles. I don’t think anyone hates Styles.
10. Speaking of Styles, it’s the 20th anniversary of the first time Joey Styles called a match on TV. “OH MY GOD!”
11. Is it just me, or are there WAAAAY too many squash matches on Smackdown these days?
12. Ryback: the new Goldberg? I hear the talent wants nothing to do with him…hence the indy jobbers.
13. Kharma Kharma Kharma Kharma Kharma Khameleon…you come and go, you come and gooooo……
14. I like Layla. Physically. But as a wrestler? Nothing special.
15. Vader supposedly lost 50 pounds. Really?! If you look closely at his match with Heath Slater, I think you’ll find them in his gut.
16. So TNA is finally doing some good in the world of professional wrestling. Well, except for the Dixie affair storyline.
17. And the Joseph Park/Abyss bullshit.
18. And the Bound for Glory series.
19. And keeping Jeff Hardy employed.
20. I’m interested in seeing James Storm finally best Bobby Roode in the ring. I have to be honest; I was initially dismayed when Roode lost to Angle last year, but I like the build the company has been working on for the Roode/Storm confrontation.
21. I’m surprised Vince McMahon was able to control his facial expression after Big Show missed the all-important WMD. I would have been pissed at the botch.
22. If he had really connected, Vince’s face would’ve been stuck in permanent “JR” mode.
23. Daniel Bryan vs CM Punk was awesome last month.
24. Then we were told we were getting a rematch. Yay!
25. But Kane was added. Boo!
26. But AJ joined in on the fun. Yay!
27. Despite all of Kane’s terrible storylines over the years, I would have KILLED to be in his shoes last Monday night.
28. Even Kelly Floyd enjoyed it. She texted me so!
29. Surprisingly, there hasn’t been any Spring cleaning this year. My guess? Too many main eventers are out of action.
30. So the Abraham Washington Talent Agency storyline was dropped already? There goes my future column about stables making a return to action.
31. Primo and Epico lost the Tag Team Championship due to an angle that’s not even happening anymore.
32. And R-Truth is out with a broken foot.
33. Yet, he and Kofi are still tag champs.
34. And because of all that, I don’t get to see my Rosa on TV?! That makes me a sad panda.
35. Santino has held the United States Championship for a decent length of time, but does it mean anything if he hasn’t really defended it?
36. I don’t think one single person cared about what Tensai did to Sakamoto. If you want to get sympathy out of a crowd for a valet beating, you have to give us a reason to like the guy in the first place.
37. Glazer once told me Albert improved immensely as Giant Bernard in Japan. I’m not seeing it with this new gimmick.
38. Chris Jericho will be back in just over a week. Hooray!
39. And yet, I feel like this run has been the weakest of the three he’s had with the WWE.
40. I heard someone else violated the Wellness Policy besides Orton. I wonder who.
41. Speaking of violators, isn’t Rey Mysterio due back? You know, if he hasn’t tweaked his knee again.
42. At this point, Sin Cara needs a good feud. I’m tired of watching his attempts to wow the audience.
43. Bully Ray is doing great as a heel right now. Unfortunately for him, it’s at the absolute worst time, as TNA is hell-bent on Roode/Storm and we need a babyface champion. Hopefully he can keep the momentum going for a few more months so he can capitalize by defeating Storm at a later date.
44. The same goes for Austin Aries. It’s a weird coincidence that Aries shares a first name with a certain Texas Rattlesnake who often straddled the line between face and heel.
45. I hope nobody’s forgotten about Wade Barrett: he’s due back in a few weeks. Maybe he can capitalize on that Sheamus feud Blair’s been looking forward to.
46. Guys who will receive the barest of pushes upon their return: Justin Gabriel, Ted DiBiase, Evan Bourne.
47. This Brock Lesnar/Triple H thing has the company painting themselves in a corner. If Triple H wins, that’s two matches in a row Brock has lost without a single win since his return.
48. If Brock wins, Triple H will look like a chump after having his arm “broken” and having his ass sued for breach of contract.
49. And finally, the WWE can always go the “No Contest” route we all love SO MUCH.
50. Possible highlights for No Way Out this weekend: Sheamus/Ziggler (for the wrestling) and Punk/Bryan/Kane (for the AJ angle).
That’ll do it for me this week. If any of those points above hit a raw nerve, feel free to let me hear about it in the comments below. If you don’t catch the next Smackdown Breakdown this weekend (and you have NO REASON to avoid it), allow me to send out an early Happy Father’s Day.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
Tags: abraham washington, Abyss, aj lee, AJ Styles, Albert, Austin Aries, big show, Bobby Roode, bound for glory, Brock Lesnar, Bully Ray, chris jericho, cm punk, Daniel Bryan, dixie carter, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, ECW, Epico, evan bourne, Giant Bernard, goldberg, Heath Slater, jack swagger, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, joey styles, Joseph Park, Justin Gabriel, kane, Kelly Floyd, kharma, Kofi Kingston, Kurt Angle, Layla, Mike Gojira, No Way Out, Primo, R-Truth, randy orton, rey mysterio, Rosa Mendes, ryback, Santino Marella, sheamus, sin cara, Smackdown, ted dibiase, Tensai, TNA, triple h, United States Championship, Vader, vince mcmahon, WWE, WWE Tag Team Championship, WWE Wellness Policy, zack ryder