Big Brother 14 – Episode 1 & 2 Review – “Put Me In, Coach!”

Hey Guys,

HOH #1 – Housemates meet your coaches

Guuuuurl! Julie Chen, girlfriend, did you hire a new stylist this summer? I am loving this sexy red dress.

Wait, it’s a jumpsuit. Never mind, everyone. Cancel the banner and balloons.

I am loving this season’s theme! When I first heard four old housemates are coming in I thought, “Yeah, like last year. And the Vets just dominated.” But this time the old housemates are coaching the new housemates. I LOVE that idea. The Vets are still playing to win, but they are playing for one of their team members to win. Props to BB producers.

Here are the veterans they chose:

Dan – Season 10 – I know Dan looked so familiar and I recall thinking he was cute but I just don’t remember him at all. I just looked at a cast photo from that season and again, I am not remembering too much. I guess must have had a life that summer.

Janelle – Season 4/Season All Stars – Well this isn’t a surprise at all. Everyone loves Janelle and she was always a fierce competitor. It took me a while but I realized behind the blonde hair and big boobs she is a smart cookie.

Britney – Season 12 – She was cute, but should she really be a coach?

Mike BoogieSeason 2/ All Stars – I thought this guy went legit and was a successful restaurateur. I guess he needs the cash to buy his baby stupid hats.

Anyway, let’s meet the new houseguests. START THE MONTAGE!

This goes by so fast I only have a few thoughts:

  • Shane’s is much more attractive than his cast photo gave him justice. But the puka shells have got’s to go.
  • I was right! Jodi has a lot of children….step-children that is.
  • Oh, Wil with one “L”. You are everything I ever imagined. Not only do you make a bitchy remark, but you finish it off by sipping a cocktail. I loved this moment so much I had to show my roommate.

  • Frank could be cute but that Carrot Top  resemblance is too much.
  • Ian, I heart you!
  • Willie Hantz is really a much more handsome version of Russell.

After the housemates settle into the house they introduce each other and Julie lays out the first “truth bomb” of the year. Veterans are coming back but they are here to COACH YOU! This news was met with many a, “Ahhh hell no” face.

BANG, the veterans show up! This episode is going by so fast.

Then BANG again, the coaches have to pick their team school yard style! The teams end up like this:

Britney’s Team: Shane, Willie and Jojo.

I think that is a pretty solid team however, I think Britney focused too much on strength and didn’t think too much about the social aspect.

Boogie’s Team: Frank, Ian and Jen

Boogie has got the right formula. Pick athletic yet likable people, and Frank seems like a good first choice. And I was happy to see Ian wasn’t the last pick.

Janelle’s Team: Wil, Ashley and Joe

Good job Janelle! She picked the team with lots of personality. Ashley seems super sweet but smart. Janelle can definitely train her to be a mini Janelle.

Dan’s Team: Kara, Danielle, Jodi

Sorry Dan, you are stuck with the nice and attractive and not so athletic girls. The only girl who went far without winning a lot was my girl Jordan. If Dan can focus on that, then maybe he has something.

Before the HOH competition begins Julie lays it down again.

Bad news: Whatever team loses will lose a team member decided by the coach.

Good news: A member from the winning team is the HOH decided by the coach.

May the odds be ever in their favour.

12 Little Housemates Jumping on the Bed

The competition is an obstacle race where the housemates must retrieve a teddy bear but have to climb some shady and shaky mattresses. Like I thought, Dan’s hot girl team doesn’t do to well. But I shouldn’t say too much because the competition could be a lot harder than it looks. I found myself rooting for little Ian right away. What is up with that? I mean, I just met him. (Ed. Note from Jill: And this is crazy…) Why do I have butterflies? Eventually Britney’s team is the winner! And she chooses Willie as the HOH. Then apparently 20 minutes have passed. What?  After the 20 minutes mark the coaches can sub in a team member. Sadly, Dan’s team just couldn’t pull it together.

Nice to meet you, now get outta here.

Dan had the difficult choice of choosing someone from his team to leave. And he chose the hot busty girl… just kidding he picked older, mature Jodi. Tough break, Jodi.

So there you have it, new season, some new and old faces and a surprisingly exciting twist.

Do you guys see any winners? Who will be the best coach? And why do I find Ian so attractive?

Other Thoughts:

  • How long can Willie keep his family a secret? I mean people aren’t dumb, they all know how much CBS loves putting their reality stars on their other shows. Ian knew RIGHT away.
  • Little Danielle decided to lie and say she is a teacher not a nurse. According to her, teachers just play with kids all day. I have a few friends with teaching degrees who would definitely disagree with you. If you are ever in Halifax, watch out.
  • All the coaches were either married or just had a baby. Sound like you have a hire success rate getting married after BB than being on the Bachelor/Bachelorette.

Big Brother: Nominations #1

Barbie & Skipper Unite!

So when we jump into the show again we see that the coaches have teamed up. It’s Dan and Boogie vs. Janelle and Britney. Janelle and Britney both lost their seasons when they trusted the wrong guys. Not this season! Girl power! Since Britney’s team is in power, Janelle convinces her teammates to just come together. So, far the girls are starting a solid strategy. Anyone else find Janelle looks like a giant compared to Britney? I decided to call them team Barbie and Skipper. The blonde hair is blinding.

Boogie and Dan seem to think since they won their seasons, that’s all they need. We will see, boys.

He ain’t heavy, Hantz’s my brother

Willie shows everyone the new zen-like HOH room. Where were the pictures of his family? The nice letters? I guess it’s only been a few days. Once most of the housemates leave, Willie finally reveals to his team and Janelle that yes, the suspicions are true, he is Russell’s brother. I knew he couldn’t keep a secret like for long. How long until the other housemates find out?

Ian is one weird guy

I was so sad to find out Ian is a little weird and is creeping everyone out. Oh Ian, why? I was routing for you so much. First, Ian is so awestruck in the house he spends late nights just wandering around and touching everything he can. Sadly, Ian forgot that the HOH has a camera and everyone laughs at him. Ian? Why? Then we get a whole montage of Ian just being creepy. He walks into rooms and doesn’t say anything and then walks out. Danielle thinks he stares at her in the shower. But then he shows up naked holding a cowboy hat. What kind of social strategy is he working? How is there so much footage of him being so weird and it’s only episode two? Oh Ian, my crush is gone already.

Coaches’ Competition – And their off

This season the “Haves” and “Have Nots” will be decided by a competition that only the coaches will play. This will therefore be known as the Coaches’ Competition. The winner of the competition not only saves their team members from being a “Have Not” they also can save a team member from being nominated all week. Good twist.

The competition is the BB Derby. The players are dressed up like jockeys with horses. They then have to chase each other on a racetrack until they catch up and snatch the other player’s tail. Also, this racetrack is a slip n’ slide. (Sometimes it is really hard to describe these competitions.) Anyway, first round between Boogie and Britney finishes with a win for Boogie. Next heat is between Dan and Janelle. Dan decides since he only has two team members; it may put a big target on one of his players if he saves someone, thus Dan throws the competition. (First throw of the season!)  The final heat between Boogie and Janelle seemed tight but eventually Boogie wins. He celebrates his win by asking, “Any questions?” Who was questioning you?

Boogie has a big decision to save one of his players. He knows everyone is uncomfortable around Ian so he saves him. Good choice, Boogie.

The coaches pick Shane, Danielle, Ashley and Ian to be the “Have Nots.” As usual they have to eat slop, which Ian seemed really excited about. Then we see the new “Have Not Room” which looks just awful. The beds are slighted tilted forward and are on flat diamond metal sheets.  I could only imagine how uncomfortable it is.

Nomination Time – A Hantz is a Hantz

We officially have the first back-stab of the season! Willie nominates Kara and shock of shockers, Frank. (Earlier in the show Willie and Frank had a real Bro moment.) I bet Frank feels so embarrassed when he thought he was safe. I do agree with nominating Kara. She seems a little boring so far.

So who do you think is leaving the show? Can the “girl power” alliance stay strong? And why on earth was Ian wearing a duck on his head? It’s official. My crush disappeared.

Other Thoughts

  • Can someone please tell Mike Boogie that 1999 was a long time ago, please put away those hats.
  • My idea that Joe’s cooking skills would work well for him in the house has already backfired. Apparently, he cooks so much that most of the food is gone.
  • Every season someone yells during the diary room sessions. Joe! You are this season’s winner.
  • I noticed Ian also sounds like Leonard from Big Bang Theory. Again, another way CBS advertises it’s shows.