WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results for 7/23/12: 1000th Episode, C.M. Punk, John Cena, The Rock

Well, it is finally here. The much hyped 1000th episode of RAW. I cant wait for tonight. I’m ready for a big night. Let the crazy speculation and rumors begin!

An awesome opening by the WWE Production Crew. These guys are awesome.

Dolph Ziggler Was In D-X?

Vince McMahon came out to start the show. He welcomed everyone to RAW and introduced D-X. Shawn said he had to catch his breath. He said he feels it, but something is missing. Triple H agreed. He asked if there used to be more of them. Out came Billy Gunn, Road Dogg and X-Pac. Road Dogg did his traditional entrance. Triple H said he will see everyone when they hit 2000 episodes, and to get ready to suck it. Billy Gunn and Shawn Michaels argued over who would do the next part. HHH ripped on HBK for posing for Playgirl.

Suddenly Damien Sandow came out. He’s the savior of the unwashed masses. He said this is what society has disinegrated to. Shawn said he was going back home to church and ask for forgiveness. Sandow said if they beat him up, he will be a martyr and not a victim. HHH said they would have to vote. After they broke the group huddle, HBK hit Sweet Chin Music and HHH a pedigree. Billy Gunn said if you aren’t down with that, we got two words for ya: Suck It!

Segment Analysis: Just a way to get the crowd into the show. X-Pac put on a pretty big beer gut. It was nice seeing everyone back together. Yeah, they kind of buried Sandow, but what do you people want from this show? Fun times. Segment Analysis: 3/5

Botch Alert!

Six Man Tag: Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara, and Sheamus vs Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto del Rio. After the entracnes there was a commercial. Back from break Ziggler had control over Sin Cara. Jericho tagged in and applied a headlock. Sin Cara fought out and scored a roll up for two. Jericho immediately hit a drop kick. Del Rio’s turn to work over Cara. Sin Cara caught Del Rio with a kick to the face and a swinging DDT. Cara tagged in Sheamus, Del Rio Jericho. All hell broke loose and ended with everyone outside except Jericho and Sheamus. Sheamus missed a Brogue Kick and got caught in the ropes. Jericho went for a springboard but Ziggler caught him with a punch. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick for the win.

Segment Analysis: It continues the Ziggler/Jericho program headed into SummerSlam. Looks like they are going to try and build sympathy for Jericho. Action was short but good. Rey Mysterio is already an afterthought. Survey Says: 3/5

Backstage, Layla tried talking A.J. out of getting married. She said this place is nuts, so why wouldn’t she. She opened the door and Hacksaw Jim Duggan walked by, then Roddy Piper and R-Truth skipping rope with Little Jimmy, and finally Mae Young and her grown up hand. BEST PAYOFF EVER.

Brodus Clay squashed Jack Swagger. Mick Foley as Dude Love applied the Mandible Claw.

Backstage, Triple H stretched with Trish Stratus. D-X came in and interrupted. Daniel Bryan was then shown talking to what appeared to be insane asylum docs.

What Are Her Qualifications?

Jerry Lawler introduced Slick as the revernd for the ceremony. Daniel Bryan said once they get married, they will start a new life together and he will finally have everything he’s ever wanted. They both said YES. Right before Slick was going to end it, A.J. stopped him. She said she wasn’t saying yes to Daniel, but to someone else. Another man. Vince McMahon came out. He said it wasn’t that kind of proposal. He said A.J. is now the new GM of RAW.

Segment Analysis: Well, uh, that came out of nowehre. I guess this is there way of keeping A.J. on TV for a long time. A.J.’s character is over enough to work as GM, but it just seems so out there that it is tough to believe. Survey Says: 2.5/5

I Like These Possibilities

Back from break, Daniel Bryan was still screaming NO in the ring. C.M. Punk came out. He said getting stood up at the alter couldn’t have happened to a better person. Punk said he was going to continue being WWE Champion while Bryan continued to throw a tantrum. Bryan said he is the greatest WWE Superstar of all time. Suddenly, The Rock’s music hit and he came out. Rock said Bryan doesn’t get to say who the greatest of all time is, the WWE Universe gets to say who the greatest of all time is. Bryan cut off The Rock and Rock said you don’t cut him off. Rock said he isn’t here to talk to Frodo, he’s here to talk about the WWE Championship. He said at the Royal Rumble, he will take on the WWE Champion. Punk said he’s looking at the man who will be the WWE Champion at the Royal Rumble. And just like with Cena tonight, he will beat The Rock at the Royal Rumble. Rock disagreed. Bryan said he will be the face of the WWE and face The Rock. Rock said Bryan looks like the result of a homeless lumberjack and an oompa loopa. Rock told Bryan he got him a wedding gift anyways, and delivered a Rock Bottom.

Segment Analysis: Well, that was certainly a big announcement. I was hoping it would be at SummerSlam, but I can live with the Royal Rumble. Does C.M. Punk hold the WWE Title unti Wrestlemania? I don’t know. I find it highly unlikely. I could see Lesnar winning at Survivor Series and facing Rock at Royal Rumble. Bryan looked strong in the promo and definitely held his own in there. Very good segment. Survey Says: 4/5

Is Angry Miz Girl Mad Now?

Bret Hart came out to introduce the Intercontinental Title participants: Christian and Miz. Christian hit an early dropkick. Christian tossed him to the outside and hit a dive from the top. Back from break, Miz worked over Christian’s knee which he hurt after his dive. Christian fought back. He went to the top again and hit a crossbody for two. Christian went for a roll up but Miz caught him with a kick to the face for two. Christian countered with a swinging DDT from the top for two. Miz stopped a spear attempt and hit a DDT for two. After a couple of counter attempts, Miz countered Christian and he landed on his bad knee. He hit the Skull Crushing Finale to win and become IC Champ.

Segment Analysis: Well, the Miz finally won something. Just so odd to Miz become Intercontinental Champion. What a downfall for him. I don’t even have faith that this is the start of something for him. The match was actually quite good for a short match. Survey Says: 3/5

How Much Money Are They Paying Lesnar?

Triple H came out. He said he’s had his fun for the night, and he wants an answer from Brock Lesnar. Paul Heyman came out. Heyman said that Lesnar’s answer was no. Triple H said he was going to go find Lesnar. Heyman threatened another lawsuit if he did. Heyman called HHH a child for using name calling to try and get Lesnar to fight him. Heyman asked if that is what he teaches his children. Hunter said to not talk about his children. Heyman said he felt sorry for HHH’s children. Stephanie McMahon came out. Stephanie said these lawsuits were about masking Heyman’s failures as a business man. She said that when it comes to Vince, Heyman is looking in a rear view mirror. She called Heyman a professional parasite and slapped him. Heyan flipped out and finally agreed to the match. Heyman went on a rant and Steph attacked. Brock Lesnar came out and went after HHH. They brawled and it ended with HHH clotheslining Lesnar out of the ring.

Segment Analysis: So all of that to make Lesnar look terrible? Seriously, why does Lesnar get made to look like a bitch there? He hasn’t been around in two months, so that’s how you bring him back. Of course our great savior HHH has to be made to look strong in the end. There’s abolutely no reason for HHH to go over in this program. At least we can hope. The promo was actually very good before the brawl. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Lita and Protection?

Heath Slater came out and challenged any legend to a No DQ, No Countout Match. Lita came out. Slater accepted, but said she hired protection for tonight. The APA, JBL and Ron Simmons came out. Slater tried running, but all the legends Slater interacted with in the last week came out. Slater was chased back into the ring. He ate a Clothesline from Hell, which he sold well. Lita hit a Twist of Fate and Moonsault to pick up a win.

Segment Analysis: Typical legends segment. Survey Says: 2/5

The Rock wished John Cena luck backstage.

Kane and Undertaker beat up the new JOB Squad.

Charlie Sheen challenged Daniel Bryan to a fight.

Pipe Bomb…

Main event time. Cena started with a headlock and shoulder tackle. After a reset Punk gained control with an armbar. One more reset and Cena took Punk down with a headlock. Punk fought out then applied his own headlock. The two exchanged punches. Cena gained the upper hand but Punk caught Cena with a dropkick. Punk hit the high knee but when he went for the bulldog Cena hit a side slam. Cena went for the You Can’t See Me but Punk caught him with a kick to the head. Punk went for the GTS but Cena countered and knocked Punk into the ref. Big Show came out and hit a spear and KO Punch on Cena. Punk looked conflicted but eventually pulled the ref into the ring but only got a two count. He went for the GTS but Cena countered with an STF. Big Show came in and took out Cena as Punk just watched. Rock suddenly came out and took out Show. He was going for the People’s Elbow when Punk came in and speared Rock. Punk hit the GTS on Rock. Punk stood in the ring and looked on and slowly walked to the back with the WWE Title to close the show.

Segment Analysis: Well, it looks like we know what the big angle is that the WWE was looking to build with tonight’s show. Punk appears to be heading heel, or possibly tweener. I still think Punk will get cheers from his base fanbase, even against The Rock. And all of Punk’s reasons for turning are valid when he explains them next week. But if the WWE wants to turn Punk heel, they have to be careful and not give him reasons that make the fans sympathize with him. Survey Says: 4/5

OVERALL

For everything that show was hyped up to be, it felt like a bit of a letdown. It had its moments, but it also had its bad ones. The ending is what people will be talking about. Punk has finally had enough of John Cena and The Rock hogging the spotlight while he is WWE Champion. I’m looking forward to Punk’s promos come next week. The D-X opening was fun. The little amount of wrestling that was on the show was good as well. I don’t get A.J. as GM of RAW. It just seems like a way to keep her on TV. Remember, they did that with John Laurinaitis and we got sick of him after a couple of months. And do we really have to see Daniel Bryan vs Charlie Sheen? And I haven’t even mentioned how the Triple H/Brock Lesnar program is already off to a terrible start. I came in planning to give this show a high rating, but instead it only gets a 6 from me.

And remember kids, inter-work relationships can end badly. Your crazy ex might end up being your boss someday, and then you would have to fight a drugged out celebrity on PPV.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka

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