WWE Superstars report for 8/16/12, starting with The Usos vs. Johnny Curtis & Michael McGillicutty
It drinking game time! Jay & Johnny start the match. A collar-and-elbow-tie-up leads to a stall-mate. They lock-up again and Johnny gets put into a headlock. Then they do the push-off-to-shoulder-block sequence. *take 2 shots* Jay applies a wrist-lock and tags in Jimmy. Jimmy comes off the top with a double-axe-handle to Curtis’s left arm. Jay tag back in and they repeat the previous sequence. Jimmy comes back in and they do the double-back-elbow-to-double-elbow-drop thing they do and McG comes in to…patiently wait for Lay to hit him with a palm strike to the chest? Wrestling…logic? Curtis gets an arm-drag and is placed in a shoulder-lock. He gets to his feet rather quickly so Jimmy transitions to a wrist-lock and tags Jay back in. Jay kicks him in the gut and tries to re-apply a wrist-lock but gets staggered by a right hand. Jay goes for a scoop slam but Curtis floats-over and fishhooks him. Curtis drives Jay into the mat with a neck-breaker drop and gets 2. Jay gets dragged to the wrong corner and gets a mud-hole stomped in him by McG. McG & Curtis whip Jay into the top turnbuckle, punch him in the gut and double-axe-handle him in the back. Curtis covers and gets 2. Jay is taken over to the opposite corner and gets body-slammed. Curtis goes for a diving knee drop but Jay rolls out of the way and tags in Jimmy who releases some pent-up anger with a pair of lariats and a running back elbow. Jimmy goes for the pin and only gets 2. Curtis reverses an Irish-whip but ducks too soon and gets head-butted. Jimmy punches McG just because and Curtis lariats him over the top rope. McG toe-kicks Jimmy in the stomach and it takes the wind out of his sails. Break time folks.
Jimmy is trapped in a head-lock as we rejoin the match-in-progress. Jimmy gets to his feet and is thrown out of the ring. Curtis tries to attack but is thwarted with a right hand. Jimmy tries to climb back into the ring but gets caught with a standing dropkick before he can clear the ropes and gets pinned for a 2-count. An inverted atomic drop and northern lariat gets another 2-count for McG & Curtis. Curtis uses his right shin to choke Jimmy on the bottom rope and McG kicks him in the head behind the ref’s back. A short-arm-lariat puts Jimmy in the perfect position for a stomp to the midsection by McG. Mike sits him up and drops a few elbows on him before applying a head-lock. Jimmy breaks the hold with a jawbreaker and comes so close to making the tag but McG holds his left leg and Curtis runs interference. Well he tries to but eats another right hand from Jay. McG eats a right as well and falls to the floor. Curtis punt-kicks Jimmy in the gut and McG quickly slides back in for the pin and gets 2. Curtis stomps Jimmy in the gut and sends him to the ropes and bends down; Jimmy kicks him in the head, punches McG and throws over-the-top. Jimmy gets the tag and he’s on fire ladies and gentlemen! A clothesline! Another clothesline! Side kick to the gut! Right hand! Corkscrew back elbow! *take a shot* Running hip attack to McG in the corner! Power slam to Curtis! *take 3 shots* McG gets flattened with the Samoan drop! Jay gets the tag and a diving splash is enough for the win after, oh let’s say 7m & 30sec.
Drew McIntyre vs. Alex Riley
Drew attempts to lock-up but winces in pain. Huh, I just noticed that cast on his right wrist. Stanford informs us that he fractured his wrist bracing a fall during a horse-riding competition at his home. I don’t know about you but I’d really like to see his house now. They do successfully tie-up this time and Riley backs him into a corner. Drew’s wrist appears to be bothering him again so the referee separates the two. Drew suddenly explodes out of the corner with a big boot! I guess his wrist wasn’t bothering him as much as he led us to believe. A jumping stomp causes Riley to crawl to the ropes and Drew sits on his neck. Riley is taken to a corner and Drew alternates between stomping and punching him. A snap suplex gets 1 for Drew. Riley is placed in submission maneuver that targets his shoulder. He uses the energy from the crowd to get back to his feet for a few seconds before the back of his head is driven into the canvas and put back into the hold. Riley gets back to his feet again and throws a few rights to the head and stomach. McIntyre cuts him off with a kick to the gut and sends him to the ropes; Riley takes advantage and uses a sunset flip but only gets 2. Drew springs to his feet and floors Riley with a lariat but he spends too much time feeling good about himself and only gets 2. Drew stomps him in the gut before picking him up to dish out more punish but gets thrown across the ring by his right arm. Drew charges at A-Ry in the corner but gets a pair of knees to the face. Riley puts together a nice sequence of moves with a clothesline, lariat and a spinning spine-buster. Drew reverses a whip and throws Riley into a corner. He stomps Riley a few times then goes for a running attack but gets kicked in the face. A-Ry goes up-top and calls for the A-Bomb which turns out to be a diving clothesline. A-Ry gets 2. McIntyre retreats to the ropes and the ref pushes Riley back. Drew takes advantage and clobbers Riley with a left hand. McIntyre body-slams him and goes for a diving leg drop; Riley avoids it and capitalizes with a swinging neck-breaker…which gets the win at 4m& 37sec? So I guess this is his new finisher now? This is what, the 3rd one he’s used? Stanford calls it “The Final Score.” *shrug* Whatever. So Drew loses, again. It could be worse though. At least he’s not Ryder.
For the next 10 min. they show footage setting up the Brock vs. Trips, World Heavyweight and W.W.E. Championship Matches. (insert witty joke here)
The Main Event; Justin Gabriel vs. Damien Sandow
Gabriel tries to engage Sandow but he’d rather tie himself up in the ropes. Sandow eventually remembers that he has a pair and they lock-up; Sandow applies a head-lock but Gabriel quickly reverses it with a hammerlock. Sandow snapmares Gabriel but it doesn’t break the hold. Gabriel turns it into a crucifix pin and gets 2. Gabriel uses a shoulder-lock to maintain the pressure and turns it into another hammerlock. Sandow backs him into the ropes and the ref. calls for a break. They grapple with each other again and Sandow gains the advantage with a head-lock which he uses to take-down Gabriel. Justin counters with the head-scissors hold which forces Sandow to kip-up in order to get some breathing room. This doesn’t last long though and he finds himself in another shoulder-lock after an arm drag. Sandow does get to his feet but it does matter because Gabriel uses a hammerlock to stay in control. Sandow elbows him to get out of it and hits the ropes; Gabriel stops him in his tracks with a pair of dropkicks. Sandow is placed near one of the corners for a high-risk maneuver with a body slam but he rolls out of the ring before Gabriel can complete his climb. Gabriel is pulled off of the middle turnbuckle but he manages to kick his foe away and comes off the apron with a somersault senton to a standing Sandow. Gabriel checks his neck, Sandow makes sure his chin hairs are still in place and Superstars takes its final commercial break.
Justin Gabriel really likes the hammerlock hold because he’s put Sandow back in it as we rejoin the action. He adds a pair of knees to the back for good measure. Sandow gets vertical and hits Gabriel in the jaw with a forearm. Sandow throws Gabriel between the ropes but he hangs on. Justin slides under Sandow and back-body-drops him. Gabriel then knocks him down with a forearm of his own. A swing-and-a-miss results in an S.T.O. for Sandow. Gabriel makes his way to the top but Sandow rolls out of the ring. Sandow ducks a baseball slide, kicks Gabriel in the gut, then propels him stomach-first into the ring edge twice. Sandow pins Gabriel for 2. Stryker talks about Sandow using math & physics to hurt his opponent. I didn’t know it took a genius’s I.Q. to figure out that throwing people in solid objects hurts them. Damien continues to work the midsection with a stomp and several knee drops. He pulls down his right knee pad for a jumping knee drop which gets 2. Sandow places Gabriel in a hold that I’ve never seen before. The best way I can describe it is that it resembles a standing single leg bow-and-arrow. Justin escapes but a shoulder thrust to the midsection forces him to his knees. Gabriel isn’t completely helpless though and he head-butts Sandow in the large intestine. A quick jackknife pin gets 2 for Gabriel. Sandow goes right back to the stomach with another shoulder thrust. He then throws Gabriel into a corner and delivers several more. He even throws in a few stomps for good measure. A Russian leg sweep is followed by an elbow drop and Sandow gets 2. Sandow throws Gabriel into a corner and goes for a splash, Justin moves and Sandow’s face bounces off of the top turnbuckle. Gabriel ducks a right and lights up Sandow’s chest with a knife-edge chop. Gabriel delivers a roundhouse kick to Sandow’s left thigh and back. He then knocks Sandow off of his feet with a jumping back kick. Sandow reverses an Irish-whip and ducks, Gabriel flips off of Sandow’s back and puts him down again with a spinning heel kick. Gabriel follows Sandow into a corner with a running cross-body and vaults over the top rope to the apron; Sandow stumbles out of the corner and gets flattened with a springboard cross-body which gets 2. Sandow propels his shoulder into Gabriel’s lower torso again then picks him up for a power-slam but Gabriel slips out and plants him with a neck-breaker drop. Gabriel executes a beautiful springboard moonsault but it only gets 2! Justin climbs to the top for another aerial maneuver but Sandow throws his weight onto the top rope, this causes Gabriel to sit on the top turnbuckle a lot harder than he’d like to. Sandow pulls him down and delivers more knee strikes to the stomach before using the straight-jacket-neck-breaker to get the deciding pin after about 8 min of action. That Summerslam commercial was almost a minute-and-a-half long.
Well that’s it for this edition. Be safe out there folks.