WWE Superstars Report 8.23.2012 (Damian Sandow, Drew McIntryre, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel)

Stupid W.W.E. not posting Superstars until Saturday. Stupid job keeping me busy. I’m just going to do a quick recap this week.

Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Sandow is dominate for most of the bout with some snapmares, knee drops & side head-locks. Tatsu mounts a small comeback with a running knee in the corner and a spinning wheel kick. He goes for another one from the top rope but Sandow moves out of the way. He then uses a Russian leg sweep, drops the elbow (I don’t know the Latin name for it nor do I care) and wraps things up with the straightjacket-neck-breaker after 4min. of action. This was just a squash match.

I’d also like to add that Stryker dick-riding Sandow annoyed me more than anything Cole has done. I didn’t think that was possible.

There’s a replay of the happenings of Raw. I didn’t see this when it originally aired ‘cause I was asleep. This has nothing to do with the quality of Raw. I was just that tired. So Lesnar quit after “doing everything that he set out to do.” Let’s see, he won…multiply the 5 divide by 2…subtract 2 by the square root of pi…1 match. It’s nice to see that he’s set his goals so high.

Drew McIntyre vs. Alex Riley

Drew takes control early. Then there appears to be some miscommunication as Riley does a dropkick as McIntyre tries to duck under a leapfrog. Riley leaps off the steps; McIntyre sidesteps him and uses his momentum to push him into the barricade. The upper part of Riley’s back is driven into the ring edge with a spine-buster for 2. Drew appears to be in control until he goes for mounted punches in a corner; Riley slams him into the mat with a schoolboy pin to get the 3-count after only 4min of action. Well that was lackluster….

More Raw footage is shown. This time Punk demands that Cena & Lawler admit that he’s the best in the world. Neither will do it so Punk kicks King in the head. Did King sign a new contract with the stipulation that he has to start a mini-feud with a world champion once a year?

Main Event: Justin Gabriel vs. Cody Rhodes

Things are heated in the early going. Or is that goings? Gabriel uses the running suicide dive….

It’s it still okay to call that move the suicide dive since it was a standard move for…you know…THAT guy? No, I am not joking.

Anyway Gabriel uses that move before they take their final commercial break.

Speaking of commercials they show the controversial ending to the Del Rio/Sheamus match from Summerslam. I like Sheamus. I like Del Rio too. I’ll admit that Sheamus has lost some of his edge since turning face, then again the same can be said for a lot of faces in The E nowadays, and they ran out of things for Del Rio to do after his rivalry with Mysterio ended and he’s just kind of “there.” However I’ve enjoyed their past few P.P.V. encounters. They haven’t been “OMYGAWDBESTESTBEESKNEESEVER!!!!!” but they’ve been solid encounters. Now with that said, this rivalry suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks! I hope that it ends at Night of Champions and Alberto disappears until the writers/creative rebuilds his character and Sheamus gets a meaningful feud.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I’ll probably shit a 50-pound golden egg before that happens.

Anyway Rhodes seizes by working Gabriel’s left arm. Justin fights back with a flurry of kicks and a sit-out-spinebuster. He hooks up Rhodes for a neck-breaker drop but Rhodes spins into the dominant position and plants him with the Cross Roads (or is that Rhodes) to take the victory after 7 min. of action. This was…meh. Their match from last week was much better.

Well that’s it for this week. See you next time folks.

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