Greetings, lesser beings! I’m back with another installment of Ye Olde Smackdown Recap. Let’s get right into the drama.
We start with a recap of Sheamus’s Brogue Kick to Ricardo Rodriguez from Monday night, which leads to a ‘live” shot of Alberto del Rio, David Otunga, and Rodriguez backstage tending to Ricardo’s neck brace. After the opening credits, we get all three heels heading to the ring. As they milk Ricardo’s “injury,” I notice that Josh Mathews has evidently survived Kane’s choke slam from last week. He truly IS The Sponge! Del Rio says he’s on the greatest roll of his career, which is extremely sad given that he’s lost time and time again against Sheamus. Oh god, they’re trying to get the Brogue Kick banned. I hate angles like this. “Oh no! How will Sheamus win now, since he only has THREE OTHER finishers in the Celtic Cross, White Noise, and Texas Cloverleaf?!” Otunga grabs the mic and tries for a cheap pop a la Randy Orton, but the crowd boos the shit out of his name. We get a montage (even Rocky had a montage!) of Brogue Kicks which the heels utilize to plead their case. Booker T interrupts to say that the meeting they had in the back was supposed to be confidential but Otunga had the nerve to bring the case to the people. He asks the Universe if the Brogue Kick should still be legal and based on the response, the move is still in play. Michael Cole plays Devil’s Advocate with Josh, asking him if he can back Booker’s decision even after what Kane got away with last week.
These damn “banned move” angles are supposed to add suspense to a match, but it only works if the guy affected by it only has one finisher in his arsenal. See HBK vs Randy Orton for how to properly pull this off.
Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara vs The Miz and Cody Rhodes
Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to your newest superstar tag team! Things could be picking up in the tag division if the WWE pulls the trigger on Rey/Sin Cara and Kane/Bryan. I have to admit; The Miz wasn’t too bad on commentary. I was expecting a terrible version of Statler and Waldorf but I was pleasantly surprised with what we got. Sin Cara and Mysterio are all over their opposition, double teaming Rhodes with a head scissors into a 619 attempt, which is stopped by The Miz as he pulls Cody out of the ring. Rey takes exception to this, which allows Cody to attack him from behind. The heels are in control until Mysterio tags in Sin Cara, but in moments Sin Cara is trapped in the heel corner and Miz works him over. Rhodes traps Sin cara in a headlock….wouldn’t that be the perfect time to tear off the mask? Sin Cara escapes and both men make the hot tag but it’s Rey who takes advantage. Rey is on the outside apron and leaps over Miz for a rolling pin but Miz escapes and kicks him in the face! Miz goes for the SCF but Rey frees himself and rolls up Miz! Rhodes gets involved and accidentally hits Miz with a boot to the head in an attempt to break up the pin. This allows Sin Cara to dropkick Rhodes out of the ring and follow up with a corkscrew plancha to the outside! Rey ends things with a 619 and Los Mexicanos pick up another victory.
Backstage, Hornswoggle offers to “hug it out” with Daniel Bryan but ends up shaking his hand instead. Just as DB seems calm, Hornswoggle kicks him in the shin and runs off, leaving Bryan pissed off.
That was a decent tag match which hid El Botcho’s faults quite well. If the plan is to have Rey and Sin Cara tag until Wrestlemania, I wonder how the crowd will react months later when Sin Cara is back on his own.
David Otunga is in Booker’s office, demanding that he ban the Brogue Kick. He calls the move unnatural; uh, yeah, a scissor kick to the face is suddenly unnatural in the world of professional wrestling. Booker T tells him he’ll think about it.
Daniel Bryan vs Zack Ryder
Before the match we get a recap of the “Hugging Session” from Raw. I didn’t want to see that live; there’s no way I’d want to sit through it again. Mathews calls Ryder one of Kane’s “most celebrated rivals” and I’m not sure he even knows what that means. Proof that Ryder’s crowd support is dwindling: he barely got a reaction as he headed to the ring. Don’t let the canned crowd reaction to his name fool you. Bryan stomps away at Ryder, all the while shouting “NO!” A small “Let’s go Ryder!” chant breaks out for about a nanosecond. Ryder gets whipped into the corner and brings up his knees to counter Bryan’s charge. He nails the Broski Boot and calls for the Rough Ryder…but Bryan asks him not to do it?! He offers to hug Ryder instead and Zack actually takes the bait! Bryan quickly turns the hug into the No Lock and Ryder taps out! He refuses to break the hold so the ref reverses his decision! Bryan loses his shit in the ring as the crowd chants “Yes!” at him.
That was a different ending which proved two things: Ryder is an idiot, and the WWE is putting Bryan in a holding pattern with this anger management gimmick until a spot in the main event is freed up.
Damien Sandow vs Randy Orton
As Lillian announces Sandow, he interrupts her to explain that he lost last week via count out to Sheamus because he wasn’t ready for the match. He calls out the people who called him a coward on social media and says that they should be reading instead of Tweeting. I’m inclined to agree. No one gives a shit about your status updates, folks. Get a life. Randall Keith interrupts and says he’s not here to talk; he’s here to fight. Sandow tries to get an explanation, saying that Orton is not his opponent, but Randy tells him Booker T changed things around. As the bell rings, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero head to the announce table. Sandow escapes the ring as Orton wails away at him. He gets back in and they lock up until Sandow is trapped in the corner; the ref pulls Randy away and Sandow gets in a cheap shot. From there Damien takes over. They head outside the ring as Randy takes it to Sandow. Orton gets distracted by Ziggler and Sandow runs him into the post. He continues to work over Orton’s back in the center of the ring. Russian leg sweep followed by the patented elbow drop for a two count on the Viper! Orton strikes with his stiff clotheslines and power slam, followed by the draping DDT! He calls for the RKO but Sandow goes for another count out loss. Ziggler mocks Orton as he leaves and gets decked! They fight into the ring and it looks like Dolph’s gonna eat the RKO! Sandow rushes back to the ring for a sneak attack but Randy catches him in the act and Damien eats the RKO instead as Ziggler hightails it up the ramp!
Backstage, Otunga shows Booker some X-rays of a normal spine and Ricardo’s. Huh. I would have figured Ricardo’s spine would be missing. Booker tells Otunga to get dressed for competition against Sheamus while he considers the X-rays.
I like Sandow’s ring psychology and his constant escapes from the ring; he really knows how to incite the crowd. As for his return to take the RKO, I think that was a bad call.
The Primetime Players vs Epico and Primo vs The Usos
Kofi Kingston and R-Truth head to the announcer’s table for this Triple Threat tag match already in progress. I’m just miffed that I didn’t get to see Rosa’s entrance :( As per Triple threat rules, one man from each team is allowed in the ring legally at a time and the winner gets the first pinfall or submission. I feel bad for the official, as a tag team match is hard enough to officiate with just four men. The Usos clear the ring with a high flying spot. Darren Young hits his finisher on Primo, who then eats a splash from one of the Usos before Young tosses him out of the ring for the win. Just like that the Primetime Players are number one contenders…again.
I would have rather seen a 5-team match at Night of Champions. That way, the PTP could win and Kofi and Truth could claim the odds were against them. It would also get more guys a payday (and I’d see more Rosa).
Raw Rebound: CM Punk’s day off ends with John Cena on his windshield and Paul Heyman as his chauffeur.
Teddy Long and Kaitlyn are backstage making fun of Otunga as an ambulance chaser. Ziggler barges in and demands a match with Orton at the PPV and Teddy says he’ll advise Booker to make it happen.
I am definitely excited for the Heyman/Punk alliance, but part of me wonders how the WWE will fuck this up.
Wade Barrett vs Yoshi Tatsu
Wade is back with a new beard and a new hard rock theme song. I still prefer his Corre music, but I might be in the minority on that one. Barrett squashes Tatsu, ending the match with a choke hold released into a sort of boomerang elbow. That looked really dangerous. He grabs the mic and says he’s done with jobbers and wants to be thrust right into the title picture. “Wade Barrett is open for business.”
Just a squash to show how dangerous Wade is. Nothing to really say there, although Blair must be ECSTATIC that Barrett is back.
Sheamus vs David Otunga
Time for Otunga to oversell the Brogue Kick so Booker T can ban the move. Do I really need to recap this glorified main event squash? I mean, you all know how this is going to end. Sheamus bashes Otunga around, hits White Noise, and calls for the Brogue Kick…but Booker T interrupts and tells him that the Brogue Kick has now been outlawed. So what does Sheamus do? He wins with the Cloverleaf.
This was a decent episode, but the whole thing served only to get across the fact that Sheamus can no longer use his signature finisher. The only problem is, as noted earlier and as also shown in the main event, Sheamus doesn’t NEED the Brogue Kick.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
