*sigh* It’s “The Superstar Report.”
Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel
Tie-up to start, nice hip throw by Cesaro for a 1-count. Gabriel escapes the front face-lock by twisting Cesaro’s wrist, Cesaro counters with a release northern-lights-suplex and maintains the pressure on the wrist. Gabriel gets up then drops onto his back in order to use the momentum to create some separation but Cesaro rolls over him and applies a hammerlock. After a brief struggle Cesaro finds himself in the hold and steps into the ropes to force the ref. to intervene. Gabriel puts his right hand up for a test of strength, Cesaro appears to be willing to oblige but he kicks Justin in the gut instead and places him in a side head-lock. Push off by Gabriel, Cesaro comes back with a shoulder-block. Another head-lock by Cesaro, Gabriel pushes him off then lays down so his opponent has to jump over him to avoid tripping and catches him coming back with a dropkick to the chest. Gabriel attempts a hip-toss but Cesaro socks him in the gut before switching positions and attempted one of his own. Gabriel lands on his feet though and a spinning leg sweep earns him a count of 1. They show a shot of Aksana and almost miss Gabriel propelling Cesaro across the ring with a monkey flip. They show Aksana again. Look, I think she’s nice-looking too but we have a match going on right now. They cut back just in time to show Gabriel duck under a lariat and go for a diving cross body from the middle turnbuckle that gets turned into a gut-buster. A double-foot-stomp and a lifting knee strike to the gut gets 2 for Cesaro. Gabriel’s placed in a submission maneuver (I have no idea what it’s called but it’s not that impressive trust me), when he stands up he’s whipped to the ropes and gets another knee to the stomach on his return trip for a 2-count. Cesaro continues to work the stomach by dropping Gabriel on one of the top turnbuckles and delivers another lifting knee strike for 2. Gabriel is placed in a shoulder-lock but wiggles his way out and avoids another knee by countering with a schoolboy pin for 2. Cesaro quickly gets to his feet but gets draped over the middle rope with a drop-toe-hold. Gabriel attempts a springboard moonsault but Cesaro gets his knees up and covers Gabriel for 2. Antonio is in the driver’s seat as they take a break.
There’s a commercial for Saturday Morning Slam. I’ll be reviewing that starting the first week of Notinthislifetimeember.
Cesaro is stomping Gabriel’s guts in a corner as they rejoin the action. Justin fights back with a pair of knife-edge chops and a forearm but Cesaro drops him with a knee (I’ll let you guess where) then picks him back up with a dead-lift gutwrench suplex for 2. Another head-lock by Cesaro. I’m felling a weird case of déjà vu here. Gabriel gets vertical and Cesaro knees him puts him in the abdominal stretch after another knee to the gut. He even pulls Gabriel’s leg back for more leverage. Gabriel eventually escapes with a hip-toss and both men take a moment to collect themselves. Unfortunately for Gabriel Cesaro does so first and his midsection is abused further with multiple jumping-foot-stomps. Cesaro covers for 2. Gabriel breaks out of yet another head-lock and the 2 trade right and lefts. Cesaro pushes Gabriel to the ropes and bends down; Gabriel flips over him and roundhouses his right thigh and chest. A jumping turning-side-kick and a springboard cross-body gets 2 for Gabriel. Justin goes up but is forced to jump over Cesaro as he charges at him. Justin tries to catch him with his back turned but Cesaro quickly turns around, throws him straight up and catches him on the way down with a European Uppercut! Cesaro cracks the neck and the cradle face-buster puts an end to this bout. Well it’s was good while it lasted. I’d like to see what these 2 could do with 15 minutes.
Layla vs. Natalya
A rear-waistlock-takedown leads to a leg-lock by Beth. Layla quickly kicks her in the face to escape. Layla gets a fireman carry’s takedown and is placed in an arm hold (the camera view wasn’t that good) but she places Beth in a hold of her own with the head-scissors. This forces Phoenix to kip-up to get out. The ladies get into a shoving match and it’s Layla who comes out on top in this exchange with an arm-drag that leads to a pin for 2. Beth takes a roundhouse to her left shoulder before she can get to her feet and she’s whipped into a corner. Phoenix springs over Layla but before she can do anything she takes a sidekick to the gut. A double springboard cross-body only gets a 1-count before Beth rolls on top of Layla and picks her up for…something. Layla goes for a roll-up but Beth rolls backwards into a victory roll for 2. Beth gets dropkicked in the chest before she can get up and Layla…dances. She evens smacks her ass. Beth rolls out to let the announcers know that wasn’t funny. Layla rolls out to smack her ass and roll her into the ring. Layla tries to join her but gets a shoulder to the tummy and reversed-snapmared onto the ring edge. Beth puts Layla over her right shoulder for a modified torture rack. She eventually wiggles her way out but gets pulverized with a discus lariat. Beth puts her left foot on Layla’s chest for a 2-count. Layla bounces off some turnbuckles after a hard Irish-whip which is quickly followed by a backbreaker. Beth keeps her in place for a few seconds before Layla knees her way out but is immediately snap-suplexed for 2. Beth picks her up by the hair and gets several forearms to the chin for being disrespectful. Layla pushes Beth into a corner, Phoenix elbows her in the face as she charges, Beth goes for a toe kick, Layla catches her foot and smack the taste out of her mouth which knocks her off her feet. A spinning back kick drops Beth to a knee, she ducks a roundhouse but can’t avoid the side kick to the chest which leads to the 1-2-3. Layla continues to impress me and Beth continues to be used as enhancement talent. Who’d she piss off backstage? I still enjoyed this though.
Damien Sandow vs. Alex Riley
Gee I wonder how this match is going to turn out. Tie-up, side head-lock by A-Ry, push-off for Sandow, shouder-block for Sandow. Sandow pushes Riley into a corner then bails when Riley comes back at him. Perhaps he should have stayed outside because he gets a hip-toss suplex upon his re-entrance. Riley goes for mounted punches in a corner, he only gets to 5 before Sandow ducks under him and kicks his left leg causing him to crash-and-burn. Multiple stomps by Sandow (he even adds one of the springboard variety) gets a 1-count. Arm-capture-chinlock by Sandow now. Riley fights back with rights and a head-butt but gets a knee to the gut and a Russian leg sweep. The “Elbow of Disdain” gets 2. Sandow pulls down his right knee for a jumping knee drop but Riley rolls out of the way. A-Ry delivers more rights and sends Sandow running but he lowers his head too soon and gets punted in the chest; Riley quickly responds with a pair of lariats. Sandow misses with a right and a spine-buster gets 2 for Riley. Riley goes for a d.d.t. but gets rammed into a corner. He elbows Sandow as he advances and connects with an A-Bomb but only gets 2. Sandow elbows his way out of a fireman’s carry and rolls to the apron, A-Ry goes after him and gets guillotined on the top rope. Sandow quickly capitalizes and the straight jacket neck-breaker gives him another victory. This was an okay-ish match. Sandow continues to show potential. A-Ry on the other hand still seems that he’s missing “something.” I don’t know what it is but he better find it quickly.
Main Event: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth vs. Primo & Epico w/Rosa Mendes
Truth & Kingston make their way to the ring before they take a commercial break. Well I’m glad they went to commercial before the match. Primo plays nice with Lil’ Jimmy…at first. It turns out to be a façade as Primo kicks him across the ring. R-Truth is livid and pummels Primo with rights after a double-leg-takedown. Truth gives Primo a stiff shoulder-block and right hand before Kofi gets the tag. Oh, the springboard forearm gets 2! Side-headlock by Primo, push-off by Kingston, shoulder-block by Primo. There’s a leapfrog by Kofi, and another one, and another…oh wait that was a jumping back elbow that gets 2. Kofi is sent to the ropes but he grabs them for a brief second to change his momentum and surprises Primo with a frankensteiner. Epico becomes legal and they exchange monkey flips out of a corner; Kofi lands on his feet, Epico does not. Kofi gets 2 and tags-in Truth. A double-hip-toss, and a roundhouse by Kofi before he leaves the ring, gets another 2-count. A jumping leg drop gets another 2-count for Kofi & Truth. Epico begs-off and this pause allows him to throw Truth between the ropes on his side. Primo stomps on Truth’s head before Epico throws him back in and follows with springboard somersault senton. There’s a quick tag and Epico holds Truth in place for Primo’s leapfrog body guillotine. This only gets a 1-count though. Truth battles out of a head-lock but gets a drop-toe-hold before he can make the tag and is dragged to his opponents’ corner. There’s a quick tag and a double-axe-handle to a prone Truth gets 2. There’s another quick tag and Truth fights for his life with multiple rights to both of his opponents. He appears to be doing well until Epico propels him into a dropkick from Primo which gets 2. Another head-lock by Primo. Man the superstars sure do love the head-lock. Truth throws some rights, Primo clubs his back and hits the ropes, Truth catches him with a leg lariat and both men are down. Epico gets the tag and so does Kofi who takes to the sky with a springboard…pat on the forehead. There’s a pair of knockdowns with some of the weakest chops to the chest I’ve ever seen. At least the dropkick locked a lot more legit, and there’s the Boom Drop! Kingston signals for the Trouble in Paradise but Epico retreats to a corner. Kingston presses forward but gets an elbow to the mush. He collects himself in time to duck a lariat and flatten Epico with a double springboard cross-body! Primo breaks up the pin at 2 but is thrown over-the-top-rope by Truth. Epico goes after Truth and gets a pair of soles in his face for his unwise decision and staggers right into the Trouble in Paradise. At some point Rosa climbed onto the apron to complain but it doesn’t matter as Truth & Kofi pick up the win. This was a decent contest. Of course when you’ve got 4 men and 8-minutes you can only do so much so I really can’t fault them for that.
Sorry about the lateness of this recap. It’s been a hectic few weeks for me. However, I was assigned to do a job which is why I pledge to you faithful readers (all five of you) that I will try my best to get these done in a more timely manner.
Well that’s it for this report. See you next time folks and be safe out there.
