I could make a stupid and already dated joke about whether to use a definite or indefinite article when mentioning the title of this Sunday’s WWE PPV, but we all know I’m above all that. Besides, other writers here at the Pulse already beat me to it…so let’s get right down to it. I’m pressed for time this week, so I’ll be pulling a Chris Sanders and hit you up with a preview of Hell in a Cell.
WWE Championship: CM Punk vs Ryback
Forsooth! We’re finally getting a CM Punk main event that ENDS a PPV AND does not involve John Cena. We’ve all heard the story of how unforgiving the Devil’s Playground is, but surprisingly the gimmick has been severely understated for the past few weeks. One could say that the WWE is hoping the novelty of Ryback will sell the PPV, but we all know that the only reason he’s getting this title match is due to the uncertainty of Cena’s availability to participate. Had Cena’s health not come into question, I’m all but certain we’d get more than our share of plugs for the nature of the cell and its implications for Punk’s title reign. I suppose one could say that there is a silver lining in this situation, as it stalls the eventual title victory of Cena over his adversary by at least one month. I still maintain that Brock Lesnar will somehow get involved; either that or Punk BARELY gets the win via underhanded means. However, Chris Jericho recently discussed the topic of Ryback’s push on Busted Open, a radio podcast on Sirius/XM:
“I don’t know anything and I don’t work for the WWE. I haven’t talked to Vince in about a month. But I personally think and this is something that obviously Busted Open Radio has very hardcore wrestling fans who are listening as we all are. The number one thing people bitch about is that there is nothing new and it’s the same old same old with John Cena. This is the chance to create a new guy. This is the chance to make a new star instantly, and I know tradition says you must build a star. There is no tradition in a case like this. The comparisons are to Goldberg. Most of the fans in this day and age have no idea who Goldberg is and don’t care. We do, but in the year 2012 Goldberg was over ten years ago. How did Goldberg get over? …. By beating everybody. There was no loss for Goldberg. As soon as he did lose, that’s when things started going downhill for him. Ryback is not a normal guy. This is not a guy that we see that builds his way to the top and fans get behind him slowly but surely. You want to pick a new guy? Have him beat CM Punk this week. Who gives a shit about Punk’s title reign? It means nothing. Here is a chance to take a guy who people are getting behind. If he beats Punk at Hell in A Cell and after three hundred and thirty seven days or whatever and Punk is finally beaten, people are going to start to take notice of this guy. Those who don’t watch Raw are going to tune in to see what’s going on. Ryback beats everybody. Ryback faces Rock at Royal Rumble. What happens if a couple of weeks before that something goes on with Ryback and Undertaker got involved in the Rock match? What if Rock wins the title and goes on to face Cena we expected and what if its Ryback vs Undertaker at Wrestlemania? What if Ryback beats Undertaker at Wrestlemania? You have a new star for the next ten years to headline pay-per views and main events.”
Make of that what you will, but he does have some interesting points.
World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs Big Show
I don’t think we’ll be getting three months worth of a feud here, so that’s a plus. I also don’t see this as anything more than a brawl, which both men are more than capable of handling. I expect this to be the more brutal of the two Hell in a Cell matches. I’m not sure how things will end after it’s all said and done. Ziggler has claimed that he’s going to cash in the MitB after the match ends, but could we see another tease? And if Dolph does cash in, will he win the title? There are so many factors weighing against Ziggler (Randy Orton, anyone?) that I really don’t think now is the time for him to do his thing.
Randy Orton vs Alberto del Rio
This match is really just filler for both men, which is a shame because they both deserve so much more. And yes, Mr. Sanders, Smackdown has indeed put plenty of focus on this angle. You’d certainly know that if you A) watched the show or B) read my stunning recaps. I foresee a clean victory for the Viper so he can move on to the title picture at Survivor Series.
Intercontinental Championship: Kofi Kingston vs The Miz
Some say the title has lost its luster since Cody Rhodes was defeated at Wrestlemania to give Big Show his “feel good” moment (and others would say loooong before that), but I digress. I like how Kingston is finally using his finisher as a surprise move instead of that telegraphed “boom, boom, boom” shit we’ve grown accustomed to. This match is only here to make Kofi look good, which is not a bad thing.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No vs Team Rhodes Scholars
I find it interesting that Daniel Bryan is playing the part of a heel, as are his opponents, yet his partner is the face. I expect a solid tag match with the standard WWE formula followed by a unique win from Kane and DB. Hopefully we’ll get more character development because, while the odd couple routine has been entertaining, it’s time to step things up lest the team dynamic becomes stale.
United States Championship: Antonio Cesaro vs Justin Gabriel
At the time of this writing, no match has been officially announced. However, with Gabriel’s surprise upset on Cesaro and the way in which the United States Champion has been booked, I expect to see this bout added a day or so before the PPV. Should be an interesting eight minutes with a retention by Cesaro.
WWE Divas’ Championship Triple Threat: Eve vs Kaitlyn vs Layla
This one was just announced the other day, and I’m not at all surprised. I see this as a litmus test for Kaitlyn, which is probably why she’s working with two veterans instead of one. Jesus, did I just call Eve and Layla “veterans”? How far has this division really fallen? I see Eve retaining by stealing a pinfall or using one of her fiance’s submission techniques.
That’ll do it for me this week. I’ll be at the Jets game this Sunday, so I most likely won’t be seeing the PPV. I will, however, cover Smackdown as usual (hear that, Sanders?) and hopefully Ms. Floyd will be back in action.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
