New Rules! 11.16.2012 – CM Punk, The Miz, Impact & Jeff Hardy

Welcome to “New Rules”.

 

New Rule #1: I’m not sure exactly what this is…

… but count me out.

 

New Rule #2: Someone in WWE needs to tell us if they even CONSIDERED giving Alberto Del Rio a Diva that wasn’t Latin American.

Failing that, I say if they’re going to set crosses on fire this casually, they may as well make it funny, or SO over-the-top that they could pretend it was done for comedy’s sake. I personally would have read the letter from Del Rio out loud, and have it say something like this:

“Your family has accepted my dowry of enchiladas. I’m a really good sex vato. I do it all the different ways. I look forward to striking you in the manner in which you have become accustomed.”

 

New Rule #3: Someone from affirmative action really needs to have input on how WWE dresses their non-white wrestlers.

This outfit doesn’t say “I’m going to kick your ass”, this outfit says “I’ll suck your dick for some blow.”

And as we all know, that gimmick is covered.

“… and for some meth I’ll let you hit me in the face with it.”

 

New Rule #4: Anyone who wasn’t booing CM Punk before and IS booing him now just because he made fun of Jerry Lawler needs to be dressed in black and sent out to play on the highway at night.

It won’t be tough to convince them because they have no means of thinking for themselves.

 

And on that subject…

New Rule #5: Anyone who was shocked or offended by the fact that WWE used the Jerry Lawler stroke to try and get CM Punk heat should probably stop watching WWE before Punk starts his program with The Rock.

Because if they haven’t gotten Punk hated by the time this feud comes to pass, rest assured they’ll have him digging up and throwing Owen Hart and Eddie Guererro’s corpses into an abandoned quarry on air.

Now, I YouTube’d this segment from Monday that bothered some people and I have to admit that I wasn’t particularly shocked or offended by anything they showed. So let me tell you, if you don’t think they can stoop lower – trust me, they can. In fact, speaking of Eddie Guererro, it wasn’t that many years ago that Randy Orton was telling Rey Mysterio that Eddie was in Hell.

I can certainly see how it could bother some people, though – but if you’re one of them, look at the bright side. They aren’t desprate enough to have Punk ask Jerry about “the children”.

… yet.

 

That’s it for this week. As usual, any and all comments and thoughts are always appreciated, or you can feel free to e-mail me at bdouglas@insidepulse.com. If you have any questions you’d like me to answer, ask away and I’ll throw it into an “Interinactivity”. And feel free to follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas if you’re into such things.

This has been “New Rules”. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

I’ll be in my trailer.

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