Welcome to “New Rules”.
New Rule #1: WWE has to stop insulting people’s intelligence. Fans are smart enough to know damn well that this is not the first time…
… that AJ has frequented the men’s locker room, just like they’re smart enough know damn well that this isn’t the first time…
… that Rosa has gotten piss on her face.
New Rule #2: Someone needs to investigate the quality of backstage catering for this NXT show.
It just seems like there could be some minor morale issues.
New Rule #3: Someone needs to remind Wade Barrett that a “finishing move” is supposed to be something that can “finish off” your opponent…
… and not something that captures your favorite moments from Disney On Ice.
New Rule #4: Someone needs to tell Vickie Guererro that there’s no need to present your evidence for a case over a 7 week period.
I mean, RAW alone has 3 hours to fill. Just do it all at once. What, are they afraid they’ll need to shave 5 precious minutes off the crowd staring blankly at this classic?
New Rule #5: In light of his impending return, if Mark Henry is about to perform a move on you…
… fucking let him.
He’ll more than likely injure himself in the process and have to take yet another year off.
Not only does he have the blood pressure of the deep water horizon, but he’s made of fiberglass. Let’s take a look at the history.
2000: Sent to OVW to improve his conditioning and wrestling skills.
2001: Remains in OVW.
2002: Returns to SmackDown, suffers knee injury and is sent to OVW for training.
2003: Returns to RAW.
2004: Suffers quadriceps injury, becomes inactive.
2005: Sent to OVW.
2006: Returns to SmackDown, suffers patella injury and is removed from TV.
2007: Returns to SmackDown.
2008: Sent to ECW.
2009: Goes to RAW, stands on the apron while MVP wrestles.
2010: Stands at ringside while watching an NXT rookie wrestle, stands on the apron while Yoshi Tatsu and Evan Bourne wrestle.
April 2011: Drafted to SmackDown, starts monster push.
September 2011: 5 months later, beats Randy Orton for his first World Title.
December 2011: Loses World Title to Big Show.
January 2012: 4 months after winning title, suffers knee injury and is removed from TV.
I’m just saying… go with the odds.
That’s it for this week. As usual, any and all comments and thoughts are always appreciated, or you can feel free to e-mail me at bdouglas@4sternstaging.com. If you have any questions you’d like me to answer, ask away and I’ll throw it into an “Interinactivity”. And feel free to follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas if you’re into such things.
OH! And it being December (basically) after this I’ll taking my usual Christmas break and will return a few weeks before the Royal Rumble in January. We all know nothing will be happening before then anyway, and we also all know that I don’t like to work very hard. I hope you enjoyed this latest season – I’ve had a LOT of fun with “New Rules” and “Interinactivity” was fun as always – whenever there’s a big story or debate going on, I will still be using Interinactivity to cover those. I even got an “Air Up There” in. I didn’t get to recapping anything, and I had even planned to ATTEMPT to sit through a full 3-hour-RAW or an Impact. Maybe next season I’ll give that a go, just to show you guys the dementia that emerges whenever I attempt to watch a full episode.
Do you wonderful readers have any ideas for anything you’d like to see me do next season? Throw it in the comments and I’ll consider it.
Anyway, thanks as always to all those who commented on anything or who put their stuff up online for me to use this season. I always have fun going back and forth with you guys.
This has been “New Rules”. Thanks for reading, and everyone have a great Holiday Season!
I’ll be in my trailer.
