Four Weeks Of Quick Quips: Impact Wrestling 11.15.12 – 12.6.12

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– With Final Resolution on PPV tonight, I thought I’d try to do my best to catch up on 4 weeks of Impact. It’s a daunting task, I know (especially at work) but I’ll give it my best shot.

11.15.12

– I’m sorry if a rival was insulting me and my family, I wouldn’t put up a title shot, I’d just jump him in the parking lot with a bat.

– Are there still people out there who get excited for a Rob Van Dam match?

– With all the talent on the TNA roster, it’s a good thing they spent the money to bring in the Big Brother “star” as a regular.

– Hogan’s mustache is getting a little out of hand lately. It looks like he’s preparing for Whisker Wars.

– I may be wrong but I think Magnus is the first full blown heel to get attacked by Aces and Eights. I like it.

– Ok the random cuts from “live” interviews to Jeff Hardy’s “inner dialogue” is just damn bad. I was alright when it was a hype video or a solo Hardy backstage segment but you just can’t cut from Austin Aries talking to Hardy to being able to hear Jeff Hardy’s mind. It’s just illogical.

– I was wrong. This Aces and Eights character was not a career resurgence for Devon. I still think its becoming a good way to establish a group of new stars (Luke Gallows, Mike Knox and Wes Brisco) but its done nothing for Devon.

– Also I feel like the whole Aces and Eights storyline is now being overshadowed by WWE’s The Shield.

– Woah couldn’t Bully Ray be Brooke Hogan’s father?

– I miss Gail Kim’s old halter top ring gear. If you’re a long time fan, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

– What a shock. The returning superstar won the battle royal. Unbelievably original.

– I like how AJ Styles is “breaking his silence” on the very first show after the PPV.

– “One last time” for AJ and Daniels? Yea…. ok.

– Bobby Roode screws over James Storm. I feel like its December 2011 and not December 2012.

11.22.12

– Damn Wes Brisco is jacked. I’m really surprised that WWE let him slip away.

– Wait, how is Garett Bischoff the “pro” Brisco has to face? He has the least amount of experience of anyone on the roster!

– Wow. This is bad.

– Too bad Brisco’s shoulders were down as well.

– Hey look its Matt Morgan versus Hernandez. So glad TNA keeps evolving.

– I never saw Alex Silva’s controversial Gut Check and honestly I can see why TNA didn’t want to hire him. No part of his game is very impressive.

– I still like what I see from Sam Shaw. He still needs a little seasoning but I’m interested to see more of his work.

– Very cool having a Gut Check winner calling out the World champion Jeff Hardy, especially since I believe Hardy and Christian York have a history so it should be a good match.

– Terrific showing by York. Why he’s not on the main roster already is a missed opportunity.

– I have a feeling that Tara vs Hendrix is going to live up to Hardy vs York.

– 3 (actually 4) Tara and Jesse segments in one show. How many segments have the world champion, #1 contender or former #1 contender had?

– Honestly that was a nice way to write off Eric Young and end the Turkey Suit segment. I’m a fan of when pro-wrestling can switch from comedy to dramatic pretty smoothly.

– I like Christopher Daniels’ delivery of the “You’re Welcome” line much more than Damien Sandow’s.

– And I like the new “Bad Influence” tag team name. Too bad they didn’t think of it months ago.

– So I guess that depressed AJ Styles doesn’t use hair product.

– “HE DID IT! KAZARIAN WITH GANGNUM STYLE! BY GAWD!” – Seriously can TNA let anything that happens in pop culture go by?

– Nice of the show called “Open Fight Night” to end with a talking segment. TNA really does fail when Impact isn’t live.

– Um, Brooke Hogan is an “executive”, not a member of the roster.

– “Mrs. Brooke McMahon”. That actually sounds like it could have been a possibility. Maybe before Hogan testified against McMahon in a federal court. That would be an awkward Thanksgiving.

11.29.12

– Onto the third Impact in a row. This is more difficult than I thought. Maybe now that its live again it’ll pick up.

– Yea I see it. Bully Ray and Brooke completely make sense.

– Nice line from Aries about Brooke’s desk. Reminded me of the great Chris Jericho and The Rock verbal exchanges with Stephanie McMahon.

– I say it only a couple of hours ago and Gail Kim comes out in a halter! Not as nice as her old ones but still a step in the right direction.

– Really pleased that they are establishing Christian York, not as a rookie, but as a veteran that’s been overlooked. He’s got the experience and talent to hang with the main roster and I’m glad TNA sees that.

– I never thought I’d be bored by a match featuring AJ Styles, James Storm, Kazarian and Christopher Daniels but the matchup formula has just been too overplayed this year. It’s tired.

– HATE the fact that Matt Morgan is wearing Hogan’s cheesy old robe. And why is he dying his beard like Hogan too?

– So my suspicions about D-Lo being the “voice” of Aces and Eights may be true since he’s going to put through Wes Brisco?

– I know it would be a step down but I’d pop if Aries won the X-Division title. You all know my disdain for RVD.

– Well that was a flat ending.

12.06.12

– Only one more to go. Honestly I’m going to be impressed if I make it through this one. This last month of TNA really has been the shits.

– I do like the old school booking of the 6-man tag main event featuring the opponents for the PPV.

– I’m curious to find out where all the TNA wrestlers buy their button up shirts. Every one of them have some sort of tribal design on them and its not that easy to find shirts from the early-2000s Creed tours.

– I don’t know if I can’t take another Devon TV title reign and Joe’s been pretty good at establishing some prestige for the belt. Please no title switch.

– Ah damn.

– Nice to see Velvet Sky back in TNA, although it would’ve been better as a Beautiful People reunion.

– I think Hernandez goes to TattooFails.com to get inspiration for his tattoos.

– Well that Aces and Eights segment was terrible.

– Damn has Chavo Guerrero ever been able to cut a good promo.

– Another PPV and another turn for Aces and Eights? Wonder if they’ll pull the trigger on Brisco and Bischoff tonight.

– Good God these inner monologues from Jeff Hardy are TERRIBLE!

– Nice to see Kenny King on Impact again. I’ve been really surprised on how long they’ve kept him off of TV.

– REALLY strange to hear Bully Ray referred to as “Mark” and not “Bully” or “Buh Buh”.

– Zumbas and fanny packs?! Sometimes Daniels and Kaz are just spot on.

– Good finish to the show revealing Bobby Roode to have paid off Aces and Eights to attack Hardy. Logical and brings more heat down onto Roode heading into the PPV. See you all tonight at @pulsewrestling for Final Resolution.

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