So now that we’ve had a couple days to digest, is everyone still up in arms about the Royal Rumble? I try my best to be objective and not use over-generalized statements like “best ever” or “worst ever” but this one was pretty bad. But maybe I can change my own mind by the time I get to the end of this article. Let us Rumble.
Youtube Pre-Show US Championship Match: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs The Miz
Decent enough match, I think I was more impressed to see Miz continue the match as-planned after he screw up his ankle. I gave the guy a lot of (well-deserved) grief about his ring-work lately but I have to give him credit for being that dedicated.
World Heavyweight Championship Last Man Standing Match: Alberto Del Rio(c) vs Big Show
It’s kinda awkward to see Del Rio get the Miz/Flair treatment but at least Bret Hart didn’t teach Del Rio the Sharpshooter (it’s bad enough to see Rock butcher it). It was more entertaining to see Ricardo completely lose it when he was given the sunglasses.
As for the match itself, it was a lot better than I thought it would be. I marked a little when Ricardo brought out the duct tape although I think I’m still partial to it’s use in Cena/Batista. In that case, Cena tapped Batista’s legs in the corner with Batista’s body laying face-down so that he really couldn’t get up. In this instance, Big Show was tapped to the middle of the rope, face-up and the ref could see that he could get up. Basically, we got to see Big Show try to do a bunch of sit-ups while the ref counted. For that reason, I would consider Del Rio taking that table bump off the staging to be the high spot of the match, bringing him closer to being almost as over as Ricardo is.
Tag Team Championship Match: Team Friendship(c) vs Rhodes Scholars
Good match, I think? There was so much to be excited about that night that I may have unloaded all memory of this match from my mind to make space for the anticipatory memories to come later in the PPV. Now I wish I could dump some of those memories for anything else. Nothing really unexpected happened in the match and basically went exactly as I predicted. So…you know…hooray for that.
The Royal Rumble Match:
No surprise that Dolphin went first but I’m not ashamed to say that I was completely taken by surprise to See Jericho, he definitely got me there. I know right about now that there’s a reader that doing the whole “what an idiot! somebody said they saw jericho the morning of blah blah blah. These are people that don’t want to admit that they were taken by surprise and also, if there were reports, I work two jobs, record two podcasts and write this thing as well as a new script. I miss stuff every now and then. But I digress…
Another strong showing for Cody this year, I really like him in Rumble matches, they really just seem to fit him well.
Kofi, again, with the “Floor is Lava” spot of the night with the desk chair. The set up to that spot was a lot more impressive with the solution. Sure it would’ve been an odd jump from the spanish announce table to the ring apron but i think he could’ve easily made it to the steps (a la John Morrison). The desk chair was fine but it was no hand-stand.
The best spot for Santino was the sad Charlie Brown walk after he was eliminated.
I’ve made the sad realization that I have absolutely no reason to ever be excited about Drew McIntyre anymore. It’s really sad considering he was the inspiration behind my column being called “THE RAGER.”
I marked all over myself when Goldust returned and even more so to see him face-off mostly against Cody. I don’t know what (if any) future plans are for Goldust and I’m unsure if they’re bringing him back in a producing role backstage but I had a feeling he would be back. I just didn’t think it would be this soon.
Kudos to Rey Mysterio for taking baby steps into using less and less of a shirt. One day he will learn to love his moobs, we all do.
A very impressive showing for Bo Dallas. I’m guessing WWE has high hopes for this guy and not having him be an easy elimination. He stuck around for a while and put him in a story against Wade Barrett. Not a bad start (but then again…Maven).
Could’ve done without The Godfather spot. It seemed like a waste of a Rumble spot for a guy that may have broken Santino’s record. Also, I’m assuming the Ho Train was smaller due to the rough economy.
The Kane and Daniel Bryan spot was fine, I still think it would’ve been better if Kane had actually put Bryan back in the ring. I don’t really think this means the end of Team Friendship like a lot of people are currently saying. I just think this is a way for them to spend some more time working on issues between the two of them.
also it bothered me that it was said that Kane is continuing his streak of being in 14(? I think that’s the number). Am I the only one that remembers that Kane wasn’t in the Rumble match last year and had that horrible Cena match instead?
I’m thoroughly surprised Zack Ryder even got a Rumble spot this year but then again, it’s not like he did all that much.
Jinder Mahal was entrant #27, that spot will never produce a winner ever again.
Really surprised Miz still went through with his Rumble responsibilities after the ankle injury. Again, nothing that blew my mind but it I was impressed with the will-power.
Sin Cara came back…hooray?
Of course, everyone seems pissed about Cena winning even though it’s exactly what we predicted to happen. I get it, none of us really wanted it to happen but we were given plenty of time to brace ourselves. Personally, I would’ve liked it to come down to Ziggler and Cena but I get that WWE wanted to promote their beast some more (although Ryback passing out to the STF was just awkward). Also, I would’ve wanted Daniel Bryan to last longer or just have a better showing but I do realize that’s more for my own selfish reasons.
WWE Championship Match: CM Punk(c) vs The Rock
Again, it’s one of those situations where we knew what the outcome was and I should’ve braced myself better for the outcome but I just couldn’t get over how terrible it all went down. Remember back when we had the first confrontation between Punk and Rock and Paul backed out of the scene to let the talent shine? What happened to that? Why did we need interference from both Paul and Shield? I really wold be so much better with the outcome if it was just a good, clean match with a comprehensive finish. I get that The Shield’s run-in leads to the new evidence that they were hired by Paul but still, with a match so heavily built, I would’ve preferred a clean match. Now, of course, if we get more of a clean match in Elimination Chamber then everything I’m saying will be for naught. Also, it was great for the Spanish Announce table to finally be the decider of it’s own fate.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris
The Answer: “she never uses ‘lol’ so she’s obviously some sort of porn robot”
