Welcome to the live recap of WWE Monday Night Raw! I apologize for the tardiness, but my Internet was doing funny things. Alas here I am and we open with an old school intro.
The gong goes off and we’re live in Buffalo with The Undertaker! The Deadman is here! And then we show another intro… and he’s gone? Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole are decked out in retro attire. CM Punk walks out and the entire place is old school from the big RAW letters to the barricades not being the big black things to the ropes being red, white, and blue. CM Punk talks about losing last week and blames the people. CM Punk says what we just saw with The Undertaker is a sample and he is going to beat the streak at Mania. CM Punk says that he has a statistic for the people. 20-1. He says that he is straight edge and he will beat the streak. Randy Orton’s music hits and he says that he’s already beaten Punk at Mania and he shouldn’t be so confident. Orton says he was a rookie when he fought Taker and came that close. Orton says he wants to know who the people think should fight Undertaker at Mania. The crowd chooses Orton. Big Show’s music hits and he says they don’t have what it takes. Big Show says he fought Taker as well, but he didn’t have the WMD then. Show says in order to beat Taker at Mania they need to be more than a Viper or Straight Edge. They need to be a giant. Sheamus’ music hits and he says he’s the only one who hasn’t fought Undertaker before and that he deserves the shot. He says it’s going to take his heart, his boot, and the luck of the Irish to beat him. Vickie says EXCUSE ME and comes out. She says whoever defeats the streak will be the greatest ever. She announces a fatal-4-way with the winner fighting Undertaker at WrestleMania!
Ryback is grunting and walks straight into a…
We’re back and Antonio Cesaro is already in the ring. They do an old school box-in showing a promo cut by Antonio calling Ryback a neanderthal.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Ryback
Antonio starts off with some dropkicks. Ryback knocks down Antonio quick. Goldberg chants already. Ryback hits a spinning standing powerslam. Antonio rolls out and back in. Ryback holds Antonio in a suplex straight up for a few seconds. He covers Cesaro for a one count. Cesaro pounds on Ryback in the corner. Ryback holds Cesaro up in a gorrilla position and throws him over the ropes to the floor. Ryback pursues outside, but Cesaro slams his face into the corner. Cesaro follows by kicking Ryback in the face knocking him off the apron into the barricade. Ryback makes it back in at 6. Antonio jumps on him and pounds away at his face leading to a…
Back and Antonio has a headlock on Ryback. Ryback gets up and takes some knees to the face. Ryback begins picking up speed and flapjacks Antonio. Ryback preps the clothesline. Cesaro hits an uppercut and tries for the Neutralizer, but Ryback picks him up from that position (!) into the Shellshock for the three.
Ryback starts heading back up the ramp and Mark Henry’s music hits and they glare at each other. Henry enters the ring. Ryder’s music hits… oh no.
Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder
Henry throws him into the turnbuckle, but Ryder is back with some fists! Henry does it again and then throws Ryder across the ring. Henry picks up Ryder and walks around the ring with him before hitting the World’s Strongest Slam for the three.
Winner: Mark Henry
Dolph, AJ, and Big E are walking backstage heading straight into a…
We’re back and the trio is in the ring and The Miz is also there. The Miz says his manager is better looking than Dolph’s. He announces his mentor: Naitch! Miz and Flair WOO together before the bell rings.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
They tie up and push away. They tie up again and Dolph gets some big blows in. Miz gets some strikes in and Dolph charges him back into the corner again and chops him. Dolph mocks Naitch’s strut. Miz punches and kicks Dolph out of the ring. He then struts in the ring and hits the rope with Flair cheering him on on the apron as we head to a…
Back and Dolph has Miz in a headlock. Miz fights out and they exchange blows. Dolph rolls up Miz for a two. Dolph jumps up and hits a big DDT for a close two. Dolph goes for the Zig Zag but Miz holds the ropes. Miz goes for a big boot, but Dolph dodges. Dolph locks in the sleeper, but Miz fights out and flapjacks Dolph. Miz hits his big clothesline in the corner. Miz climbs the top rope and hits the axe handle. AJ distracts the ref while Big E decks The Miz. Naitch walks over there and hits a bunch of blows on Big E to no effect. Miz hits a baseball slide to Big E. Dolph rolls him up for a close two. Dolph goes for a dropkick, but gets locked into the Figure-4. He taps.
Winner: The Miz
Miz and Flair hit the ropes and his elbows on the floor together.
‘IF YA SMELLLLLL’ fills the arena and out comes the Brahma Bull. He grabs a mic and the Rocky chants fill the arena. Rock says he needs us to understand that he came in from Panama where it is 95 degrees everyday. Rock says he packed all of his stuff and a lady asked if he needed a jacket. He said he didn’t need a jacket because he had electricity flowing through his body. He landed in Buffalo and he stepped out and he said it’s cold here. He looked down and had icicles forming on his nipples. He said after ten long years he’s FINALLY back here in Buffalo. He said he’s happy he’s back in Buffalo because they are a month away from WrestleMania. John Cena’s music hits and out comes out sadly not in a jersey. Cena says it’s 34 days away from Mania. Cena said sorry to interrupt, but he’s been waiting for this moment for a year. Cena says he can’t understand why Cena wanted this moment. Cena says Rock conquered the Attitude era, the Hollywood scene, and now the WWE again. Cena says Rock doesn’t know how to deal with defeat. Cena says that he’s had to deal with people telling him he had to win that match and that he failed. Cena says that made him feel worthless. Cena said it made him feel like a crowd of hate was on him. Cena said that match sent him into a tailspin. Cena said he couldn’t get over the fact that he failed the people when he said he would get it done. Cena says it wasn’t coincidence that he won the Rumble the same night Rock wins the belt and then overcomes Punk for the first time. Cena says this is his redemption. Cena says that he’s going to write the wrong of losing last year. Cena says he isn’t throwing this chance away. Rock says that desire is what he wanted to see. Rock said that there was only one man that he wanted to fight at WrestleMania because he knew that this matters to him more than anyone in that locker room besides himself. Rock says when he connects to everyone that Cena isn’t getting redemption at WrestleMania; he’s getting his ass kicked. Cena says he likes to quote Mike Tyson for saying ‘In order to be the greatest that ever lived, you have to beat every person living.’ Cena says he’s jumped every roadblock except for The Rock. Cena says Rock’s time is up at Mania and his time is now. Rock says nuhnuhnuhnuhno. Rock says ‘winning is about heart, you just have to have it in the right spot.’ He said Lance Armstrong said that and he was full of crap too! Cena says at WrestleMania 29, he will become WWE Champion. The Rock says that’s the biggest difference between The Rock and John Cena. Rock KNOWS he can beat Cena and Cena THINKS he can beat The Rock. The Rock says if you can smell what The Rock is cookin’. Rock’s music hits and they stare down with the sign in the background.
We’re back and they show The Undertaker coming out again.
Jack Swagger is already in the ring and we hear HOOOOOOOOOOO! Jim Duggan is out with Sgt. Slaughter and Dusty Rhodes.
Jack Swagger vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
They circle around before Swagger slides out and grabs the 2×4. He nails Duggan with the board twice before nailing Slaughter and Dusty with it when they run in to help. Swagger stands there yelling We The People before locking in The Patriot Lock on Duggan. The ref breaks it up. Swagger stares at the sign before walking out.
Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan (DQ)
They show a trailer for The Marine 3. Kane and Daniel Bryan are walking backstage and taking turns glaring at each other.
Swagger and Zeb Colter and walking backstage. Josh Matthews interviews him saying that they are legends and what have they done for America. Del Rio hits him from behind and they are broken up by security.
We’re back and Ted DiBiase Sr. is by ringside to watch…
Team Hell No! vs. Primetime Players
Daniel Bryan hits a nice dropkick, but Titus and Darren work over Bryan. Titus stomps away on him before tagging out. Titus lifts Darren up and slams him down on Bryan. Young hits some fists to the face of Bryan. He tags out and Titus locks in a headlock. Bryan fights out. Titus elbows him in the corner and goes for a big block, but Bryan moves. Kane tags in and hits some big chops and uppercuts to Young. He hits the low dropkick and then clotheslines in the corners. He hits a sidewalk slam. The other two run in and D-Bry takes out Titus. Kane quickly chokeslams Darren Young for a three count.
Winners: Team Hell No!
Ted DiBiase puts a $100 bill in Young’s mouth. Bryan sneaks back and takes the bill and stuffs it in his trunks!
The Honky Tonk Man is shown backstage rehearsing during the…
Tensai and Clay are out with matching gear. They introduce The Honky Tonk Man! The 3MB is already in the ring. Honky had the mic, but Slater grabbed it. Slater says they are the rockstars of the WWE and they are 3MB. Slater says Honky needs to go back to Las Vegas with the other Elvis impersonators.
3MB vs Sweet Tea & Brodus Clay
Sweet Tea rolls up Slater quickly for the win.
Winners: Sweet Tea and Brodus Clay
They dance to Honky’s music temporarily before Slater comes back to get a guitar shot. They continue dancing. Fandango vs Kofi Kingston next.
They show Wade Barrett at the movie premiere of Dead Man Down.
Kofi is already in the ring when Fandango’s music hits and out comes a dancer. Fandango is standing on the rampway and says he will not debut until they pronounce his name correctly. He says Justin Roberts didn’t have enough emotion. Justin tries again and Fandango says that this is the night that they ALMOST got to see the debut of Fandannnnngooooooo! Jerry is depressed and blames Justin. Up next is Triple H addressing Brock Lesnar.
They show a recap of last week’s Brock/Vince/HHH/Heyman interaction.
Triple H’s music hits and out comes The Short Haired Cerebral Assassin. After his music finally stops playing, HHH has the mic. HHH says the last time he had a mic in his hand was when Brock had broken his arm. Triple H said he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or us that he was still here. Triple H says he was doing the day job of being the COO. HHH says he was waiting for a reason to come back. He stood by an old man in a hospital bed and, while his kids and wife cried, he smiled. He smiled because he had a reason. He said that if Brock thought they were done at SummerSlam then feel those staples in his head. HHH says it’s five weeks until the big dance and he’s calling out Brock. Triple H says he’s back and calling out Lesnar for Mania. Triple H asks if Brock is going to be there or if he’s just going to bleed?
They recap what happened on SmackDown with The Shield attacking Show, Sheamus, and Orton.
They have a shaky video camera claiming that the three will feel revenge. And that Show got a lucky shot on SmackDown. They claim that the three are forgetting them and they can’t be stopped.
Back to the ring and Wade Barrett is in the ring with his 87th theme song playing. Ricardo is announced and he introduces Alberto del Rio.
Alberto del Rio vs. Wade Barrett
Match starts with Wade landing some big blows. Del Rio puts Wade in the ropes and hits some shots to the kidneys. Swagger and Zeb walk out on the rampway. Del Rio rolls Wade into the ring and then Wade hits a Winds of Change/Bossman Slam. Wade hits some standing elbows followed by a two count. He locks a side headlock in and ADR fight out. Del Rio charges the corner, but is lifted onto the apron. Wade chokes ADR on the ropes. ADR then locks an armbar on him on the ropes and breaks at a four count. Wade puts him back in the ring and hits some knees to ADR’s face on the apron. Wade rolls him back in and gets a two count. Wade gets on the second rope and misses an elbow. ADR hits him with a big boot and hits some clotheslines before landing a tilt-awhirl backbreaker. ADR hits a big superkick for a two count. ADR charges him in the corner, but eats a big superkick. Wade gets locked into the cross armbreaker and he taps.
Winner: Alberto del Rio
Swagger and del Rio have a stare down. Alberto del Rio will fight Dolph Ziggler on SmackDown.
OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW?! The New Age Outlaws are back! Road Dogg says the whole skit introducing themselves. Billy Gunn says if you’re not down with that… ‘SUCK IT’.
New Age Outlaws vs. Primo and Epico
Epico takes some fists from Road Dogg to start and he hits a big knee. Primo distracts Road Dogg and Epico hits a big dropkick. Primo tags in and stomps on Road Dogg. Epico tags in kicks him and tags in Primo. Primo hits a springboard senton. Epico tags in and locks in a headlock. Road Dogg fights out and they collide. They tag out and Billy Gunn hits some shots on Primo. Epico saves it and Dogg takes him out. Gunn hits a Fameasser for the three count.
Winners: New Age Outlaws
They show a recap of the talk between Cena and Rock from earlier.
We’re back and a lot of the roster is out on the stage. Mean Gene Okerlund is announced and they announce Mae Young. They begin singing happy birthday to her. CM Punk’s music cuts through it. Paul Heyman and he step through the crowd and enters the ring. He circles the ring as we head towards a…
CM Punk vs Big Show vs Sheamus vs Randy Orton
Show headbutts Punk and takes out Sheamus. Show headbutts Orton out of the ring. On the outside, Orton pushes Show into the ringpost. Orton and Sheamus roll in and they exchange blows. Sheamus takes advantage and gets hit by the backbreaker from Orton. Punk rolls in and tries to get the pin. Sheamus hits the Irish Curse backbreaker on Orton and Punk tries to cover. Orton and Sheamus team up on Punk and throw him out of the ring. Show hits both Orton and Sheamus with punches to the gut. Everyone is laid out except Big Show as we head to a…
Punk is in the ring hitting strikes and knees to Orton when we come back. He gets a two count. Orton hit the draped DDT on Show during the commercial break. Orton begins to get fired up with short clotheslines and a scoop slam. Orton hits a belly-to-belly suplex for a two. Orton goes for a draped DDT on Punk, but Punk sends him over the top rope. Sheamus comes back in and hits his 10 blows to the chest. Big Show hits a Final Cut on Sheamus for two. Punk interrupted the count. Show smashes Punk with a WMD punch. Sheamus attacks Show and spears him in the corner then hits a kneelift and then a big axe handle. Show fights back up and pounds on Sheamus’ back. Show goes for the Vader Bomb, but Sheamus moves. Sheamus lifts Show for the White Noise and gets a two count. Sheamus preps for the Brogue Kick. Orton comes in and hits a scoop slam for a two count. Show grabs Orton around the neck and Chokeslams him. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Show catches his foot and chokeslams him. Show preps for WMD, but Sheamus ducks and hits the Brogue Kick. Orton hits the RKO on Sheamus. Punk kicks Orton in the back of the head and hits the GTS for the three count.
Winner: CM Punk
Punk stares at the sign and the gong fills the arena as the lights go out. Punk stares at the entrance way as The Deadman walks eerily out on the rampway. The flames erupt on the stage as the two have a stare down.
Thanks for reading!
And quite frankly my dear… that’s a wrap!
Tags: 3MB, aj lee, alberto del rio, Antonio Cesaro, big e langston, big show, Billy Gunn, Brock Lesnar, brodus clay, cm punk, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre, Dusty Rhodes, Epico, Fandango, Gene Okerlund, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Heath Slater, Honky Tonk Man, jack swagger, Jesse James, Jinder Mahal, john cena, justin roberts, kane, Kofi Kingston, Mae Young, Mark Henry, Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase, New Age Outlaws, old school, old school raw, Paul Heyman, Primetime Players, Primo, Primo & Epico, randy orton, Raw, Ric Flair, road dogg, ryback, Sgt. Slaughter, sheamus, Team Hell No, Ted DiBiase Sr., Tensai, The Miz, The Rock, the undertaker, triple h, undertaker, Vickie Guerrero, vince mcmahon, Wade Barrett, WWE Monday Night Raw, zack ryder